What to know about the Swede – Part I

An unintended consequence of finding a Swede and sticking to him, is having a monogamous relationship. The Swede I met in the US, Þorbjörn, has decided we should stick together. (Well, I agree too) Adorable, very endearing, shy, he is a perfect a little Swedish specimen.

The problem now arises that I can no longer flirt with the Swedes, Danes, Norwegians, or any boy that crosses my path. I told him it was in the name of research, for all woman out there looking for some enlightenment on the Swedish man. His response: “pfft.” We argued and argued and I gave in, realizing the blog fodder will eventually center around him. I kept quiet and was content. What could be more fun than stories of your sweetie pie?

So now, I present the Swedish specimen, Þorbjörn. =)

What to know about the Swede, part 1:

Housewife…househusband. If you tell him to go do the dishes, he goes. No arguing, no whining, it is equality in the house. Same for laundry and other household matters.

Hold my hand. I’m not for holding hands while I sleep. It is too encroaching. The first few times Þorbjörn held my hand, I was annoyed, really annoyed. I got used to it and now, I look for his hand at night.

Cuddling. He said cuddling is a really important part of sex. He finds it amusingly stupid that American men ‘turn around’ and try to ignore the women talking after sex. He believes cuddling is the solution, “why not cuddle after some strenuous activities?” Don’t think I would hear an American man say that.

The Ex factor. Þorbjörn and I went to chic restaurant in the city and ended up on what many women consider the worst conversation topic ever: the ex. Strangely, it was not horrible. I asked and he openly answered everything. Why women fear learning about an ex (especially a long term one) and men cringe at answering questions is beyond my comprehension. So be prepared to learn about the ex and don’t fear it.

More to come about those funny Swedes!

The Dying Questions for the Swedish Men

UPDATE, June 26th, 2010: Thank you readers for all your comments and heartfelt discussions.  The thread is closed now.  Please move over here: http://lostinstockholm.com/2010/06/26/the-new-questions-on-swedish-dating/ to continue posting!

I’ve been on a long hiatus from the blog and I apologize to everyone who does follow me on a regular basis. I have been traveling around Scandinavia and the US and finally am recomposing my thoughts for some new, interesting posts.

I noticed there are some Swedish men who follow this blog and as women (Swedish or otherwise), we are curious as to how your side of the species flirts. Some are general questions…some very specific.

Do Swedish men give compliments randomly to women? If not, are they trying to hit on the girls?

Do you think women should hit on men or vice versa?

Do you celebrate Valentine’s day? Why or why not?

Do people flirt in public? On the train, at the store, etc…

What are signs of flirtatious behavior?

Why do men need to be on the verge of blacking out to hit on women?

Does the ‘player’ culture exist? Like the wingman and pilots?

What do you expect to happen on a first date? (not a first encounter, if that was the case)

Are Swedish women really that boring? Or are the Swedish men really that boring?

The Swedish Male Look

I met a little swede a few months ago while I was still living in the US and for the one time in my life, I made a move on him. He was already living in the states for the past eight months but, that really doesn’t change swedish ways; especially male swedish mating ways.

So the backstory: I went to the Scandinavian happy hour; it was of course full of $3 spatens, 80 beers on tap, and many many Swedish men (a couple token Norwegians and women were around too). When I first met my little swede*, Þórbjörn, I was introduced by another mutual friend who happened to be an insane Norwegian lacking a filter on his mouth (that’s another story). I was jokingly introduced as the mistress girlfriend and of course the Swedes in this group of five, giggled. Yes, the men giggle. And then everyone introduces themselves in a typical fashion but then Þórbjörn here, says hi and gives the swedish male look. It is THE look for a swedish man interested in a woman. They refuse to accept the existence of such a look, but it does indeed exist.

THE Swedish Male Look
What is it? Ladies, you know the look you give a man in the bar/restaurant/party etc that you’re interested in him? You look at him, make eye contact, smile shyly, look away, look back at him, and turn away. That, is basically the look a Swedish man gives.

He is an expert at staring at the floor even when none is in line of sight. He will look at you very shyly, smile a little, bat his eyes and look down at the floor at the same time, then look back up at you. I call the ‘devil in a sheep’s outfit’ look. It’s very innocent and endearing but you know and he knows, there are very naughty intentions behind it.

This look is the definite sign of trouble. Ladies in Sweden, if you get this look, you either move in for the kill or move on. He’s played his move with his shy, quiet Nordic self; he’s waiting for you now. It’s subtle. He already drank a few beers and mustered up the courage to give you the look. So, you better your know it.

And if you can recognize the swedish male look, you’ll know how to hunt down any Swede you want. And if you are timid with men, like myself, well you are partly screwed. This is Sweden after all, and the women pick up the men.

Välkommen till Sverige.

*Since the little swede doesn’t have a very Swedish name in real life, I’m going to give him one: Þórbjörn. Okay, that’s Icelandic but whatever. Or maybe Pehr.

What we do in Sweden during the winter

The very kind gentleman I was staying with explained what the Swedes do doing the winter. I thought, that I and everyone else on Earth already knew of Swedish winter pastimes. Dead wrong we were.

What do the Swedes “do” in the winter season to pass time? Invent things. Yes, build stuff. What do they build? Who knows… an upgraded cheese slicer? spiffier bikes?

As he explained some of the little widgets and such he and his friends built to pass time, I couldn’t help but smile. Seriously, smile. He was explaining everything in a cute, innocent manner though all I could think of, “You build things? Sure you are not hiding the truth? You sure that not after building something, you get tanked at the bar and…?”

Or maybe, “building things” is an analogy to what the rest of us believe the Swedes do during the winter.

Maybe I should stay there during the winter and see what these Swedes are really up to…