What to know about the Swede – Part I

An unintended consequence of finding a Swede and sticking to him, is having a monogamous relationship. The Swede I met in the US, Þorbjörn, has decided we should stick together. (Well, I agree too) Adorable, very endearing, shy, he is a perfect a little Swedish specimen.

The problem now arises that I can no longer flirt with the Swedes, Danes, Norwegians, or any boy that crosses my path. I told him it was in the name of research, for all woman out there looking for some enlightenment on the Swedish man. His response: “pfft.” We argued and argued and I gave in, realizing the blog fodder will eventually center around him. I kept quiet and was content. What could be more fun than stories of your sweetie pie?

So now, I present the Swedish specimen, Þorbjörn. =)

What to know about the Swede, part 1:

Housewife…househusband. If you tell him to go do the dishes, he goes. No arguing, no whining, it is equality in the house. Same for laundry and other household matters.

Hold my hand. I’m not for holding hands while I sleep. It is too encroaching. The first few times Þorbjörn held my hand, I was annoyed, really annoyed. I got used to it and now, I look for his hand at night.

Cuddling. He said cuddling is a really important part of sex. He finds it amusingly stupid that American men ‘turn around’ and try to ignore the women talking after sex. He believes cuddling is the solution, “why not cuddle after some strenuous activities?” Don’t think I would hear an American man say that.

The Ex factor. Þorbjörn and I went to chic restaurant in the city and ended up on what many women consider the worst conversation topic ever: the ex. Strangely, it was not horrible. I asked and he openly answered everything. Why women fear learning about an ex (especially a long term one) and men cringe at answering questions is beyond my comprehension. So be prepared to learn about the ex and don’t fear it.

More to come about those funny Swedes!

The Swedish Male Look

I met a little swede a few months ago while I was still living in the US and for the one time in my life, I made a move on him. He was already living in the states for the past eight months but, that really doesn’t change swedish ways; especially male swedish mating ways.

So the backstory: I went to the Scandinavian happy hour; it was of course full of $3 spatens, 80 beers on tap, and many many Swedish men (a couple token Norwegians and women were around too). When I first met my little swede*, Þórbjörn, I was introduced by another mutual friend who happened to be an insane Norwegian lacking a filter on his mouth (that’s another story). I was jokingly introduced as the mistress girlfriend and of course the Swedes in this group of five, giggled. Yes, the men giggle. And then everyone introduces themselves in a typical fashion but then Þórbjörn here, says hi and gives the swedish male look. It is THE look for a swedish man interested in a woman. They refuse to accept the existence of such a look, but it does indeed exist.

THE Swedish Male Look
What is it? Ladies, you know the look you give a man in the bar/restaurant/party etc that you’re interested in him? You look at him, make eye contact, smile shyly, look away, look back at him, and turn away. That, is basically the look a Swedish man gives.

He is an expert at staring at the floor even when none is in line of sight. He will look at you very shyly, smile a little, bat his eyes and look down at the floor at the same time, then look back up at you. I call the ‘devil in a sheep’s outfit’ look. It’s very innocent and endearing but you know and he knows, there are very naughty intentions behind it.

This look is the definite sign of trouble. Ladies in Sweden, if you get this look, you either move in for the kill or move on. He’s played his move with his shy, quiet Nordic self; he’s waiting for you now. It’s subtle. He already drank a few beers and mustered up the courage to give you the look. So, you better your know it.

And if you can recognize the swedish male look, you’ll know how to hunt down any Swede you want. And if you are timid with men, like myself, well you are partly screwed. This is Sweden after all, and the women pick up the men.

Välkommen till Sverige.

*Since the little swede doesn’t have a very Swedish name in real life, I’m going to give him one: Þórbjörn. Okay, that’s Icelandic but whatever. Or maybe Pehr.

Online Dating…A social experiment

Several weeks ago I decided to sign up for Match.com in the US. To me it felt like the last ditch effort to not just find the “l’homme de la vie” but a regular man to go out with. Nothing materialized; a few people wrote to me but I was just not interested. And there it happened…my account died of natural causes.

Then last week I went out with a girlfriend and she suggested I join the match.com Sweden site. While I was hesitant at first, it appears all of Sweden is on some dating site or another. And then there I was at 4am, signing up, spending 3 hours to fill a profile, searching for people on match.se. And the men seemed…more normal (and obviously more beautiful), than the US men. I don’t know why.

Now I do not want to date the moment (my poor little heart needs a break)
but I am going to conduct a social experiment. I am going to find out how online dating works in Sweden and how these Swedish males flirt (or not) via email.

And btw, don’t go searching for me, I’m on match.se but you won’t find my photo. =)