Umm, you wanna be a Pick Up Artist?

It’s been a long time since I wrote anything about dating in Sweden. Frankly it’s a bit difficult when you are tied in a monogamous relationship that is quite happy. I mean, no one, not even myself, wants to hear about how happy and mushy gushy a relationship is.

But now it is winter and -25C outside and time to start writing, serious writing, Henry David Thoreau style.

In a week I will be joining in, as a special visitor to a day game seminar and field training on how to pick up beautiful women. And these beautiful women are in Sweden. In the cold-hearted country up north.

With whom? And why? And what’s wrong with you Sapphire? Those pick up artists guys are just douche bags trying to pick up hot chicks. Well, no not really. Pick up artists (though can hold a negative connotation) is a person who is skilled at seducing another person. These people are really seduction artists. The insanely famous book The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss (the brilliant New York Times writer) delves into the world of meeting beautiful women who are smart and sexy and actually like you back.

Since I’ve become fascinated by PUAs, a couple months ago I went out for a beer with Jeremy Soul, the most famous day game master of all. And folks, he’s a really nice chill guy. So cool that I’m going to be attending his workshop to learn more and pick his brain about dating in Sweden. You can read a lot about the nature of relationships on his blog.

And follow along with me on how to pick up Swedish girls.

January 11, 2010 | 10 Comments »

Swedish Christmas Travels

On the 23rd morning, Porbjorn and I, and the rest of Sweden began our journey for Christmas break. This year, we traveled to Sälen, a ski town in central Sweden, close to the Norwegian border.

To get there, we had to take a bus. Luckily a direct bus. Because coming back to Stockholm we would be blessed by taking the car, bus, train, another train, and the tunnelbanan.

At 8.20 in the morning we arrived, bright, happy and stressed at Stockholms CityTerminaln, the city bus station. Being Swedish, and therefore being super organized, there is a lovely Arrivals and Departures board with gate information and times. Just like the airport. We head to the second floor where were leaving out of Gate 19.

Alas, a huge crowd overwhelmed the area between gates 16-19. In fact, we couldn’t even reach gate 19 because someone put up a barrier and people were standing in a moshed queue. Now, normally a queue in Sweden is a highly organized and semi high tech process. You go to the queue machine, take a number, and wait until the number is called on the bulletin board.

Today, being Christmas, was different. There was no organized queue. There was no information. It was 300 people standing in a mosh with two idiot ticket checkers. To be efficient, these two ticket agents were clearing four buses departing within 15 minutes of each other. Excellent, just what I need at 8.30 in the morning for a bus that leaves at 8.45.

Massive. Queue. FAIL.

We eventually pushed our way, with bags in tow, to the front of the crowd. The one of two brilliant ticket agents asked seven times (maybe I exaggerate, ten times), “Who’s going to Salen?” “We are!” screamed a dozen of us. Then two people get through. The other 300 people are still waiting to get through the line too. Then our idiot savant screams again, “Who’s going to Salen?” This time just ten of us say it. And it continues until the last three.

Now tickets checked, time to get on the bus. Nope, we had to push our way through another line where two buses were departing from gate 19. Morons at Flybussarna.

Eventually we fight our way to the right bus, get our luggage on, and get on the bus. Being of course almost full and every single ticket holder taking their own seat, it split couples and families. Porbjorn asked one guy if he would mind switching seats so that we could sit together.

“No,” he said.

Ahhh, the friendly asshat during the Christmas season travels. And that Swedish organization is just a myth during busy times.

January 5, 2010 | 4 Comments »

Swedish Fashion Tips: Kill the 80s Look

I give up on Swedish people being fashionable or Swedish fashion being trendy; whichever comes first. Tony, one of my friends asked me about Swedish fashion and how Swedes take on the catwalk.

When I moved here last year, it was a horrifying experience already. The 80s, yes the 1980s, look was back in style. As if all us who grew up in the 80s didn’t suffer enough with bad fashion, the major fashion houses took the world by storm in 2007 and gave us black leggings, bad hairdos, baggy t-shirts, all over again. It was horrid. I hoped that when 2008 ended, we would move away from such a travesty, but alas we have not.

The thing is, eventually Swedish women look like cookie cutters because everyone shops at JC, H&M, Lindex, Zara, and that’s it. And now that it is winter, it is even more depressing to see everyone look the same. So here are some fashion tips to not so 80s and drab in Sweden. I also put together some semi terrible outfits below. Please don’t look like them, please.
80s-fashion-zara
1. No more skinny skinny. Those jean that look so tight at the bottom, you have the legs of Bambi and the body of a giraffe. Sorry, women are not meant to show off super skinny ankles/lower leg if they actually have an ass or thighs.

2. Throw out the ballerina shoes. You know them, the flat shoes that are so flat that you might as well wear slippers.

3. Any neon colored leggings (stockings) should be burned. Enough said on neon pink leggings.

4. Do not wear black leggings everyday. I’m pretty sure you have jeans (not the skinny ass ones), khakis, black pants, or anything else to replace black leggings.

5. Loose t-shirt top and high waisted belt can strangle each other in the closet.

80s fashion from JC

80s fashion from JC

She’s not too bad because she doesn’t have the garbage bag with a twisty tie look. You have seen that look: baggy top with a high waist belt holding the top tightly together.  Except the top is made from old cotton and is torn up but trying to look cool.

6. Keep the bracelets to a minimum.  If it takes you more than 30 seconds to put on all the bracelets on your wrists, then you have too many on them!

7. Drop the hobo bag or any other large sized bag. Unless you are 5′10”, honestly a large hobo bag makes you look like a bag lady, just with a better bag.

8. Solid color high heels must die.  Would you honestly buy any of the shoes below and then wear them with black leggings and a garbage bag top?

9. Shoulder pads be gone! If you don’t know what shoulder pads are, then you are too young to remember the 1980s.  Shoulder pads were horribly done in Working Girl and they are still frightening today.

10. Drop the 10 layered look.  I know it’s cold in Sweden, in fact it nearly 7C in the daytime and 3C at night.   Which means, it is not snowing and it is not hell on ice skates like Utah freezing. Wear a normal amount of layers (three plus jacket) that are not all seen and are not all different colors. Please use some sense before going wild with all the greys, blacks, and whites that can be assembled.

11. No more stupid looking boots that EVERYONE owns! Go to another country and pickup something sexier.
80s-fashion-satorialist

Finally, I have a confession to make.  I believe women should dress beautifully. Women’s curves and lines should be accentuated with tasteful, classy clothes to make them look gorgeous.   That’s why I hate the 80s look and how Swedish fashion has nothing to do with looking beautiful and everything to do with looking “fashionable.” Hate to break it to you, but you guys are not French, you will never be as fashionable and beautiful as the French.

Stop worrying about being so trendy and fashion forward, and start looking fabulous.  Be yourself, not a gingerbread man: all the same.

November 18, 2009 | 29 Comments »

From Swedish Fish to Swedish Massages

When I write for Lost in Stockholm, I have tons of ideas in my head that eventually gets vaporized by my lack of effectively putting these thoughts into sentences. Just now, I was thinking ‘well, what the hell do I write about? Do people care about my daily bits or do they want to hear about polar bears?’ I gots no clue.

But, I wonder about lots of things in Sweden and outside that have Swedish names. Like Nordstrom, or Swedish fish, or even the Swedish bikini team. I decided to head online (which is anyway where I reside 70% of the time) to research funny things that are called ’swedish.’

Swedish Fish – Yea, those little red plastic tasting fishies that come in a yellow bag. You find them at the counters in Walgreens, CVS, and little convenience stores across America. Swedish fish was founded in 1958 by the Swedish candy company Maleco and then distributed by the Cadbury company. The real swedish version of them are called pastellfiskar (pastel fish) and are less sweet, more fruit flavored, and have Malaco (instead of Swedish) stamped on them.

Swedish Massage – By far the most intriguing of all because Swedes have no idea what this kind of massage. In Sweden, you just call it classic massage. It’s named after Per Henrik Ling, a medical gymnastic doctor of the 19th century, who created five basic, long strokes to massage the body. Indeed, the Swedish massage has something to do with Sweden.

Swedish Bikini Team – Well, to burst your bubble, they are not swedish at all, but American girls who posed for Milwaukee Brew ads in the early 1990s. However, you can find Swedish girls in bikinis, just in Sweden.

Stockholm Syndrome – A psychological response when some hostages/kidnapes feel association and emotional connection with their predator. Stockholm Syndrome got the name from the 1973 bank robbery where the hostages eventually protected their captors. Yes, extremely bizarre but a serious problem in hostage situations.

Swedish Meatballs – Okay we do not eat meatballs everyday. At least I don’t, for fear of turning into a round meatball myself. Back in the day, meatballs were a luxury item (how many people could afford meat in the 1800s) that was lavished by the upper classes. Today, you can buy flash frozen meatballs (they taste terrible!) with sugar laden ligonberry jam and call it Swedish meatballs. Oh the irony! Since Christmas is around the corner, I’ll post some popular swedish recipes here.

Thanks to ‘what the what’ about this one:
The Swedish Chef – A classic Swedish icon part of the Muppet Show, he arrived in the 1970s on the scene as the chef. Speaking gibberish, the awesome Bork Bork Bork!, his chefspeak is part of hacker language today. No one really knows if The Swedish Chef is based on a real person, but it could Julia Child or Friedman Paul Erhardt. Whatever it is this insanely silly chef knows how to botch up just about any dish out there. Like chocolate mousse made with a moose. OR frog soup, where he tried to stick Kermit the frog into the soup bowl. If you don’t know The Swedish Chef, then you better start watching now.

and finally…
Nordstrom – That awesome department store is in fact a Swedish owned company. Nordstrom started in 1901 by Johan Nordstrom. It was a shoe store called Wallin and Nordstrom. And go figure, today it’s a multi billion dollar luxury department store in the United States. The Swedes are everywhere!

There are some of my random thoughts of the day. =)

November 14, 2009 | 20 Comments »

A Non Love Letter to System Bolaget (The Swedish Alcohol Monopoly)


thanks to mindrepanda.com for this image.

Dear System Bolaget,

Your whole ’system’ is a joke.  The guise of being a responsible seller without profit motive is just an attempt to gain moral authority and powertrip.  After more than 100 years of being abolished and the far majority of the OECD countries eliminating an alcohol monopoly (except for Canada, Norway, Finland and Iceland), you still see the need to control people to help make “better decisions.”  The excuse for not having an alcohol monopoly?  These far fetched facts conducted by left wing researches from unknown institutes in the United States and elsewhere. If the alcohol monopoly was eliminated, supposedly this would happen…

In approximate numbers it would entail:

  • And an increase of 16 millions days of sick leave.
  • An increase of 1,600 deaths per year.
  • An increase of 14,000 in reported cases of physical abuse.

After working in Sweden for sometime now, I know that there are plenty of Fridays where people stay at home and “work.” Because instead of taking the sick day, it can be easier to take a work from home day. I wonder if you, System Bolaget, recognize all those “work from home” days as time wasted as well.

And what about the restrictions? So by telling me, an adult, what I can buy, where I can buy, when I can buy, that makes a more responsible drinker? I don’t feel more responsible, in fact, I feel the opposite: that the Swedish government has taken control of what I can and cannot do when it comes to alcohol. Although I guess it’s okay that grown adults are treated like little children while given the right to a “healthy drinking culture.” Wow! I feel special, I can participate in a healthy drinking culture because the government controls it.

But what about free market? And monopolies? And asymmetric information? Everyone who studied economics knows that monopolies, no matter what industry, is bad for free market. Of course, since System Bolaget is here to protect us, having a monopoly is okay. Controlling information is okay. What information you ask? Pricing, profits, research studies: it’s ALL done by bolaget, there’s no third party to get the information from.

Why yes, who wouldn’t trust an authoritative, controlling body that decides what alcohol to buy, how to sell the alcohol, where to sell the alcohol, what hours to sell the alcohol, what information to be released regarding the research studies it undertakes, what financial information to disclose to the public, and most importantly, WHY it is the authority. Sounds like a church to me, specifically the churches that claim all rights and authority over its citizens because it’s doing it for their safety and security. And being not so religious, I am weary of church propaganda.

I am lucky to have not lived in Sweden all my life and be tied to a controlling store where I can:

…enjoy Systembolaget’s drinks without harming either ourselves or other people. (source)

Really, if I drink the magic potions from Systembolaget, I won’t harm other people? Wow, an even better miracle!

Thanks you Swedish alcohol monopoly, you managed to seduce me and strip my rights away while on your power trip. I am so proud to live in a free country.

PS- I’m tired of seeing those stupid blue or purple bolaget bags. You couldn’t get any more conspicuous than that.

October 29, 2009 | 6 Comments »

10 Things I Hate about Sweden

Sometimes I go crazy in Sweden. It just drives me bonkers. Any place that one lives in long enough would drive you insane but there are days when I really wonder if Swedes are mentally okay in the head. Here are my ten reasons why I hate Sweden because I can bitch and whine just like any other Swede.

1. Fitted bedsheets that aren’t fitted. WTH? These Swedish bedsheets look like table clothes, they barely fit on the bed. I want a real sheet that covers the bed and doesn’t fall off when I toss and turn while sleeping.

2. Whiny Swedes; stop complaining about the weather! We know the weather is terrible and we know it’s dark for 3 full months but stop bitching. It’s shitty weather in NY, Maine, Idaho, Colorado, Alaska, and Ontario. They don’t whine all day about 30 inches of show, blasting blizzards every two weeks, -20F weather (that is minus 30C for those needing metric), and the need for studded tires in the winter. Suck it up Swedes, the more you complain, the worse life will be for you. Stop bitching about the glass being have empty and the weather being dark and cold. You’re a goddamn viking, be one!

3. System Bolaget. Monopolies are bad. Unnatural monopolies are even worse. Unnatural monopolies created by and run by the government is worst. Unnatural alcohol monopolies created by and run by the government is really really creepy. People who believe that it’s okay for their government to run a monopoly and “trust” their government wholeheartedly, are insane.

4. The shitty selection at the alcohol monopoly stores. YES, your choices suck. If you think you get a good selection of alcohol, you are from Mars. And ordering beer from the catalog? Are you nuts, are we doing 1890s Sears mail orders? Should I also order my drill set, bedsheets, and a toaster? Sorry to bust it to the Swedes, but if you have no taste in beer, I don’t trust your selection of other alcohols either.

5. No one has responsibilities; Swedish socialism. the government treats Swedes as a bunch breast sucking eternal babies. Grow up! Make decisions on your own! Give people the opportunity to take control and be responsible for their actions. O_o

6. Wearing horrible fashionable clothes. The 1980s fashion died for a reason, let it be dead. Leggings, stupid looking t-shirts, big belts, and oversized hobo bags make you like a bag lady not a classic lady. Stop looking like a douche from Flashdance.

7. Fear from others. It’s okay to speak to a stranger every once in a while. It won’t kill you; honestly I promise. Actually helping someone carry groceries or opening a door may be considered by some people to be courteous. OMG, what a concept! Being nice to others. I didn’t say you have to be a friendly cherub, just some common sense and a little smile. Might also help to stop whining too.

8. Idiotic Stockholm drivers. You guys suck ass. Why the hell spends thousands to get a drivers license when obviously in Stockholm it is okay to:
Go down a one way street the wrong way
Refuse to yield at a cross walk
Speed in the innerstaden area
Make illegal left turns on red
Park your car on the sidewalk and take up all the space
Make illegal right turns on red
Drive backwards for at least 100meters to only get back into the intersection and turn around to go the other way
Run people over in the middle of the crosswalk. Do you asshats have eyes or buttons?

9. Sucky Swedish beers. Sweden cannot make beer. They produce filter pee with malt flavoring and call it beer. I find it nauseating. How can Swedes drink such nasty stuff. There are days I feel that Miller or Budweiser beer tastes better than all these nasty Stockholm City, Pripps Blå, Lapin Kulta, Spendrups, and other various disgusting concoctions of alcoholic beverages.

10. An everything is better in Sweden attitude. No, your country is not awesome. You’re just damn lucky that millions of people aren’t running through the borders and that you live too far up north on Earth for anyone to give a shit to take over. (Unless you’re Norway, in that case I heard it is okay) Stop giving me the “in sweden we have this system and it works better because…”

11. American bashing. Probably because I am American, I get to hear all the complaints about Americans from the Swedes.
‘Why do you guys sue each other all the time?’ Because we have different legal system, it’s based on checks and balances and the right to challenge authority.
‘Why is there no universal health care?’ Agree, we suck there; I assert responsibility to the powerful pharmaceutical industry.
‘Why do you have checks at the bank?’ Because we fucking do.
‘Why does American have to such a large army?’ Because we want to be a hegemonic state and well, we like big toys.

What’s your “I hate Sweden” story? We’ll give the Swedes a happy post later on why we love Sweden, but for now, it’s time for Sweden bashing.

August 15, 2009 | 114 Comments »

KLM Lost, Delayed Baggage Information

After receiving many visitors about KLM’s customer service problems regarding baggage, here is a run down of what to do if your bags are stolen or delayed as well as baggage travel restrictions.

The basics: Baggage Allowance
Baggage allowance for any airline is a nightmare. Each region, country, airline has restrictions so who the hell knows what to do. Go with your airline you begin travel with. First thing to know with KLM, they don’t give a rat’s ass if your a Delta Platinum Elite, Elite Plus or any other high ranking frequent flyer status. Truly KLM sucks on service, especially service to their loyal members.

KLM Hand baggage:
1 piece of L55 x W25 x H35 cm MAX WEIGHT total (bag plus accessory) 12KGs
PLUS one Accessory allowance of: Briefcase, Camera, Walking stick, Umbrella, Small laptop
Business class travelers get a slightly larger allowance.

KLM Checked Baggage Allowance:
It’s a mess with this one so check out this nasty chart.
KLM-baggage-chart

Delayed Baggage:
You must file the appropriate paperwork at the arrival destination and it’s called the Property Irregularity Report (PIR) and a photo is below. This must be done within 21 days of your arrival, otherwise your claim is null and void. Give KLM service all the information, passport copies, contact information, and contents of the bags in case customs clearance is required.

Retain all copies of information you give to KLM.

For each day your bag is delayed, you are entitled to a shopping allowance. In the US it is $50/day and in Europe it is 100EUR. Check the information paperwork KLM gave you. You will send those receipts to KLM, so email them!

If your bags are delayed for more than three days:
You should have already file a PIR and have a reference number. Now of course your bags are totally gone so there’s more paperwork.
Go here: http://www.klm.com/travel/nl_en/forms/bif.htm

To file Receipts with KLM
Email: customer.care.nordic@klm.com
Case number: You need to get a number assigned, do this as soon as possible that baggage is stolen
Claim Information required:
Specification and/or receipts of the missing cards and the first needs items purchased.

local bank account details which need to include the 4 digit clearing number and your account number. Please note that our system does not currently permit payments to international bank accounts or the use of IBAN and/or SWIFT numbers.

Send information via an attachment to your e-mail, but the system does not accept e-mails & attachments greater than 3MB.

OR mail the receipts and information to:
P.O. Box 69370
1060CK Amsterdam
The Netherlands
Tel: 08 587 99 747
Fax: +31 20 588 8250

I have to add a couple photos of my claims so you can see a sample. If I should any information here, let me know.

July 1, 2009 | 8 Comments »

Why KLM is [maybe] the Worst Airline Ever

Update: 06/27/2009 I told my whole story to our friend Marcus at KLM and he escalated the letter to someone else. Let’s see what happens. Nothing happened. What a surprise, no one from KLM bothered to reply back.
Update again: While I think KLM is stupid beyond belief, I still need to fly them. They’re my gateway airline into continental Europe and into the US and Asia. I just hope they are not always this stupid. And as I am a loyal fool to Delta… I have to stick with KLM. Well maybe I can do Air France too.

I have to rant because at this point there is no where else to go. I hope that some idiot from KLM public relations or customer service sees this post and understands how angry I am.

A lot of readers here also travel so post your stories about KLM, NWA (Northwest Airlines), SAS, or anyone else that gave you terrible service.

I flew from Stockholm to India this past month with KLM and NWA. Unfortunately for Stockholm, there are not very appealing airline options to fly into continental europe and continue to Asia. There’s SAS (THE worst airline since you have to pay for water), KLM, and Air France. My post is about the dismal service, communicate, and receive any recourse for stupid service.

So, the list of complaints:
1) Arlanda Stockholm Airport; check in with KLM. I check in with KLM, only to find out my hand luggage bag is 1/4 inch (about 1/2 centimeter) TOO big to take on board. I’m sorry the wheel was sticking out of that straight-jacket baggage checker! Now, the agent at the KLM counter is on my case to lighten out my bag. I pull out as much as possible, laptop, blanket, snacks, etc. and throw the bag on the belt.

The suitcase and this “hand bag” now weigh 23kg; of course she has to lecture me and tell me I have to pay for the overweight. After a few minutes of begging she lets me go with those 3kgs for free. OMG!
Then, the KLM counter lady gives me a lecture that I have no right to stand in the First Class/Business Class/ Elite Plus line. Wait! I am in Delta Elite Plus member and your overheard counter image has the Skyteam logo. You don’t specify that is for KLM only. But I am wrong, Delta Platinum is in fact not part of the Skyteam like that. Great, so the Skyteam alliance is useless then.

2) Get on the plane to go from ARN-AMS. Flight is delayed. 20 minutes. 30 minutes. 40 minutes. 1 hour. Yay! We take off over an hour late. Arrive in AMS a little bit before 9AM.

3) Make it onto the NWA airlines bound to BOM. Door closes. Wait, we’re not moving; no pushback. We sit. Sit some more. 20 minutes pass. Captain gets on the intercom that we have auxiliary power switch problems so we have to hang tight. Yep, another hour goes by before we leave the gate.

4) Arrive at the Mumbai Airport. My name, along with a dozen others are called on the loudspeaker. Not a good sign. There’s no sign of our baggage. I file PIR (Property Irregularity Report) with KLM. KLM gives me a crappy 25 Euro discount on the flight I purchase. Yippee! After filing lots of paperwork, dealing with Indian customs to have my bags cleared by the airline, I head home.

5) Two days later and some shopping to run around for underwear and tops and bottoms, I get my bags. But, but, the front pouch of my handbag is empty. Did someone steal stuff? Where are my personal business cards? Where is my ipod? Where is my headphone? And the little junk in the front pouch? Gone. All gone.

I file a complaint with the KLM office in Mumbai. They give me a case number that I can use to file the stolen items when I return back to my country of residency, Sweden. Fine. I wait.

6) Get back to Sweden. The useless counter in baggage claim that supports KLM and all those airlines with baggage issues, is well, useless. I get a phone number to call in Sweden, but as usual in a socialist country, no one works on the weekend.

7) Sunday, I email KLM directly (only took a couple weeks since their website is the most horribly built thing since msn.com) with all the details of the baggage situation, case number, etc.

Monday, a response. At least someone is fast to read and respond. Thank god.
Here is the letter from KLM Customer Service:

Thank you for your e-mail dated 3 May 2009 regarding your recent journey with KLM and Northwest Airlines. KLM takes precautions to make sure that passenger baggage is loaded and off-loaded with the greatest care. We regret that even with these precautions some items were missing from your luggage. Please accept our most sincere apologies for any inconvenience or distress this irregularity in our service may have caused you.

In instances such as these, we would recommend passengers to submit a claim to their travel insurance for consideration since the liability of airlines is limited. This letter may be used as proof for your insurance company that you reported the loss at our company.

Should you not have claimed on your own insurance and wish instead to claim directly on KLM, then you are more than entitled to do so, although KLM’s liability, like that of all other signatory
airlines, is limited to terms set out in the Montreal Convention. Unfortunately we cannot offer you any compensation for the missing i-pod as according to our Conditions of Contract, we do not accept liability for pilferage of money, jewellery, electronic and photographic equipment, precious metals or other valuables. For the latter we refer you to the General Conditions of Carriage article 8.6.d, based upon the Montreal Conventions.

To enable us to handle the remainder of your claim promptly and efficiently, we kindly request you to provide us with the following:

*Specification and/or receipts of the missing cards and the first needs items purchsed.

*Bank information [more details he writes]

Once again, we would like to offer our apologies for any inconvenience or distress the missing items from your luggage may have caused you.

Yours sincerely,

Marcus Johnstone-McKinney
KLM/NWA Customer Care North Europe
P.O. Box 69370
1060CK Amsterdam
The Netherlands
Tel: 08 587 99 747
Fax: +31 20 588 8250

Ohh, why thank you but I highly doubt you give a rat’s ass.

Please accept our most sincere apologies for any inconvenience or distress this irregularity in our service may have caused you.

There’s the legal bullshit we are all waiting for:

Unfortunately we cannot offer you any compensation for the missing i-pod as according to our Conditions of Contract

So why the hell do I have case number for stolen items I cannot claim? I don’t know. And why didn’t anyone at the Mumbai KLM Customer Service office tell me that electronic goods will not be covered? Lack of communication.

Where do I go from here? Not sure. Having lost more than 2500SEK due to stolen items, spent over 1000SEK having to buy new clothes, and had the lack of service from KLM, I don’t know. Why should I care about poor little airlines’ problems with fuel issues if they have no responsibility to give customer service and to not rip people off? Why do you airlines think customers hate you because you charge us for ever extra pound on board, or make us buy water, snacks and pillows on flights? Are we just cattle?

Thank you KLM for making me have the worst trip ever. And it is nice to know that Delta Platinum Elite Plus fliers can be treated like shit by the airlines in their own Skyteam network.

I have created a post just for KLM Baggage Information. Please also check it out if you have questions about filing baggage complaints or the paperwork required to file a complaint.

May 4, 2009 | Tags: , | 13 Comments »

40 things I learned in Stockholm one year later

It’s been one year since i first visited Sweden. Some of my opinions changed, some are still the same. Check out 2007’s 40 things in Stockholm to get an idea.

Let’s see, what did we learn in one year:

  • Stockholm people cannot drive, obey traffic signals, or stop for pedestrians
  • Males who are from Stockholm have the slick backed, douchy, hair
  • Men love wearing pointy-toed leather shoes
  • Stekare is term used to describe snobby, stuck up, douchy haired males (usually from Stockholm)
  • The T-bana is a chaotic mess on Friday and Saturday nights
  • Crayfish is pretty darn tasty…pour down that aquavit
  • Systembolaget has a line to enter the store on Fridays…buy your beer earlier!
  • Swedes are lying (okay deluded) when they tell you Sytembolaget has a great selection of alcohol. And you can place an order for things not in the catalog too!
  • Females still wear the stupid looking leggings from the 80s
  • Swedish pizza is the best food that the country can offer
  • Men won’t flirt with women unless they are on the verge of blacking out
  • Everything is fucking expensive in Stockholm; if you are not broke in one week you really weren’t in Stockholm
  • Swedish men in general have issues showing emotions
  • Females still wear the baggy t-shirts from the 80s
  • Some men carry “purses”
  • Friday and Saturday are reserved for getting completely wasted. Drunk isn’t good enough
  • Swedes freak out when things are late
  • Some Swedes are passive aggressive. Other Swedes love to get pissed off
  • No one holds the door for you; watch your nose
  • With one of highest life expectancy rates in the world, they sure drink, smoke, and drink coffee like there’s no tomorrow
  • Drivers still don’t understand the meaning of “pedestrians first”
  • Sill is a delicacy according to the Swedes
  • One only eats candy on Saturdays
  • Mexican restaurants are no where to be found
  • Swedish men have issues talking; sometimes you have to kick them in the balls to hear them speak
  • There’s no such thing as a discount
  • Forget flirting with everyone, you will just look stupid
  • Walk fast and look at the sky and hope others don’t talk to you
  • Meeting the boyfriend’s family is no big deal
September 20, 2008 | Tags: | 10 Comments »

Don’t forget your bolaget bag

When walking around the city on a Friday or Saturday night, I noticed everyone has a little purple or blue bag. It is almost fashionable to have one of those small bags filled with hidden liquor. At the same time, it’s entertaining. In a country where beer can run you $100 in one night at a bar, people are very protective of their alcohol. And there’s some etiquette involved.

If you are invited to a party at someone’s house, you are expected to bring your own beer. (I’ve learned this the hard way) This isn’t the BYOB days at college house parties where the hosts were too poor to afford kegs for hundreds of people. These are nice birthday parties, house parties or even a poker night. Hosts expect you to BYOB, and literally it means beer or wine or cidre. No real liquor please. You could but then you would be seen as a true alcoholic who has money to spend. [reflecting that a 700ml bottle of Absolut costs $44]

So you get invited to a Swedish house party. Plan on bringing enough beer to last two or three hours. After that, the group will head out to a bar. You want to be buzzed enough before heading out to not drop $10 per beer at a club.

But, there are couple exceptions. If you are going to a formal dinner party, your hosts will probably have organized the wine and beer for the evening. Yippe! And most corporate engagements I have attended also cover the alcohol. Be sure to check.

Finally, Friday night: battled the cold, stood in long lines to get in the bolaget and out, and beaten the other crazy Swedes to get the last bottle of Stella. What happens next is weird. I get to the party, expecting lots of rambunctious swedes and instead get… people sitting, drinking beer, and minding their own business. Little purple and blue are placed securely between the owner’s legs for fear of grand theft beer by other guests. No one really talks to me and people just mumble a bit with each other. I compare it to a wake; without someone to mourn. It is really bizarre and yet reflective of the dependence (or perceived dependence) to get these funny people to socialize.

Eventually, people make it to their third beer. and OMG! life! The Swedes wake up from their comas and start chatting, walking around, mingling with others. Finally someone will say, “tjena! i heard you are from the US. how do like my country??” And there’s a chance you can speak to a male without him running away. Pretty awesome. But if you wait too long to talk to folks, you may end up having some very drunk conversations. And Swedes, as we all know, have some issues when it comes to human interactions.

And if you forget the bolaget bag…? Well, hope to god that some Swede misplaces his bag and you can steal that lovely Swedish beer and begin conversing with people. Like how you’re supposed to do it. With beer.

September 7, 2008 | Tags: , , | 9 Comments »
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