Hej ladies! I’ve been reading through the hundreds of comments on the site and have some general questions and answers that may help you on your guide to dating swedish men.
You can read all the other dating in Sweden posts here:
The New Questions on Swedish Dating
Dating in Sweden…We Americans need a guide
The A to Z Guide on Dating Swedish Men
The Dying Questions for the Swedish Men
These are just my opinions along with general opinions of other ladies and gents who posted comments. But readers, feel free to add in your own as I am now an oldie on the
dating married market.
Question: “Where do I find Swedish Men?”
Answer: Sweden contains a lot of Swedish men but they can be rather hard to find and keep. Online dating through Match or Spray is very popular. I also recommend Online Dejting (in swedish) to read dating reviews.
If you are not in Sweden then I recommend checking out Swedish clubs in the States as a starter. Most countries will have not have the Embassy of Sweden, but cultural events open to the public.
Q: “I met a Swede while studying/taking a trip a trip abroad. It was like love at first sight. We spent several afternoons together, hanging out, going for walks. He’s incredibly passionate and yet shy. Now that I’m back home, we chat online nearly everyday. It’s been a couple months and now he’s gone cold all of sudden. He doesn’t know if this is “right” or possible. What should I do?”
A: You need to be honest with yourself. Do you like the Swede, love the Swede, or see having babies with the Swede? Or maybe he could be a rebound or time pass for now. Really think about how you are compatible with him and he is to you, than falling for The Look or his shyness. Most Swedish men are shy but direct and can play hot and cold.
If you really like him and want to see him again, then you should tell him so. If he doesn’t respond, then it’s his loss. Collect yourself and find a better fish. I believe your playdate and soulmate will present themselves at the right opportunity.
Q: “Do Swedish men take awhile to say ‘I love you?’ Or they just say it because?”
A: Swedish men may not say I love you immediately because they interpret love differently. Perhaps he really likes you and wants to spend time with you but love is not in the picture.
I think a lot of American women put too much pressure on men saying I love you rather than developing the relationship.
I’m also going to refer to Björn’s answer below:
‘Dunno about the “love you part” it might be the truth, you have to understand that over here its a bit different in some things. You can for example meet a girl and have a very passionate time but more often than not its not more than that and people move on. It could very well be that he might be set in those ways and not think further than that even though he might actually have very strong feelings for you and not sure how to convey them.’ –Björn
Q: “So is that a normal thing.. that we always have to initiate the conversation (online)?” -clotilde
A: Judging from commenters, it does seem the women are initiating the conversation more than the Swedes. I don’t know why. Maybe he’s shy, maybe he doesn’t know what to say (small talk is not their strong point), or maybe he is an ass.
Whatever you do, don’t be the one to always initiate the talk. Then you become his crutch.
Q: “I guess my question would be how honest and faithful are Swedish men? Are they players as we say in America?” – Dian
A: Swedish men have the same probability of being faithful as American men or any other men for that matter. Swedish men prefer to seriously date one girl at a time. They also are not as heavy in playing the game or having wingmen. With that said, I do know some Swedes who date multiple girls at a time, like American guys, but they have no intention of having a girlfriend. Just some fun.
Q: “Do you think some Swedish men can fall in love with a woman that is curvy or a few extra pouds or is this a sign of laziness with their culture?” – Irene
A: Of course! Just because Swedish people tend to be blonder, boobier, taller people of the world doesn’t mean they don’t fall in love with different people. If you’re curvy bit still have a wonderful attitude and personality, it shouldn’t matter.
Q: I met a Swede in my class. He’s really cute and shy. We sit next to each other now and do talk. Will he ask me out? I’m not the type to ask a guy out but from what I’m reading here, the women do the asking.”
A: Yes and no. If you like him and he’s Swedish, then you should get his number and ask him out. For a coffee (fika), a drink, study date, something. If you still like after that, then do tell him that you dig him. That will put the ball in his court to reciprocate.
These are not all the answers on dating swedish men but I hope it makes you ladies less nervous and more confident.
Remember, you deserve to be with someone who loves you, not someone you have to chase down.