Category: swedish habits

Like anyone living in a foreign country, you eventually get used to things. Some things just remain a nuisance while others are accepted as cultural idiosyncrasies.

Now that I have been here for a few years, I have come to terms with a lot of things. Some aspects drive me crazy (more on that later) but overall, I am doing my best to take a laissez-faire approach to serious issues. If the people aren’t forcing and clamoring for change, why I should be the outspoken one to hate on things? And if people don’t hate it, should I really hate it?

On the positive side, Sweden is becoming more of a place with choices. More independent shops, more items at the grocery stores, and more ethnic restaurants. Nicer people with more international experiences. Sweden is becoming a real fondue pot of goodness.

So, in no particular order, my list of things I don’t hate… too much.

1. Fitted Bedsheets – There was once a time when you could only find poor quality cotton bedsheets at IKEA. In white. ONLY white. Now, a few more stores here and there are carrying them. There is not a huge selection but there is a selection nonetheless.

Finding Egyptian cotton color sheets at a reasonable price is still difficult. Maybe at Hästens or NK I can find overpriced sheets. Instead, I buy sheets in the US to bring back. I keep my sanity and comfy sheets!

2. Swedish drivers – Let’s replace all “Swedish” with “Stockholm.” Stockholm drivers are awful, Swedish drivers not really. So an apology to all Swedish drivers (not Stockholm ones) for thinking you drive like Stockholmers.

Seriously, when you see a car cut off a police vehicle, and the police does not do anything, you know it is a wild wild west.

3. Rude Swedish behavior – Again, let’s replace “Swedish” with “Stockholm.” Stockholmers can be incredibly rude. While we call say the same about New York City residents, the city has earned the popular/awesome cred to have rude citizens. Stockholm is no New York.

But, overall, Stockholmers have become nicer, especially store clerks and waiters. They are not as stuck up and aloof as they used to be. Yay!

4. Systembolaget – I still hate that place but I have to accept its purpose. And I have come to terms that many Swedes do not trust themselves, or others, when it comes to regulating alcohol intake. Systemet exists for the sake of Sweden and it is something I can live with.

Besides, road-tripping to Germany for beer is awesome.

5. America bashing – The US does so many “WTF” things these days (hello, Teabaggers!) that I can understand the America bashing. For example, take gun control. How do you support people who advocate *no* background checks or social security registration? That’s America for you.

But I do mind when Swedes compare themselves to the developing world with, “See you shouldn’t complain, we don’t have that kind of traffic in India. We have traffic but it’s not India, we do not need to worry about it.”

Comparing yourself to the developing world is like comparing Einstein to an Autistic child, of course Einstein will be superior on all levels. But that doesn’t give him the right to slack off or a be a douche bag. If Swedes want to compare, compare yourselves to the developed world or to the Nordic region. Not to Sudan or India or Zimbabwe. K, rant over.

6. The weather – It sounds whiney, and sometimes it is whiney but poor Sweden did get the short end of the stick when it comes to habitable places on Earth. The more I think of it, the more I believe complaining about the weather is some cathartic experience to make Swedes happier.

7. No one takes responsibility – Change is happening at a glacier pace to make people/companies responsible for their actions. I think it will happen one day that the government agencies that make decisions actually have the teeth to enforce them. And maybe some corrupt and dysfunctional practices can finally come to an end. Maybe, hopefully.

Overall, I love Sweden. I know I am harsh and rude to you at times. But I hold you to a higher standard than India or the US. I expect you to know better. And I expect you to be a role model to others.

But you’re proving your worth. Just don’t let lagom and jantelag pull you down to the status quo. Sweden, I hate you at times because I love you.

If you haven’t been in Sweden long enough then you can do a few things that make you unquestionably Swedish. And I mean in a good way, not the get wasted and throw up on the tunnelbanan at 2am way.

1. Queue up – Getting that kölapp at the local apotek or systembolaget means you can waddle around the store and not have to stand in one position. When there is no kölapp, you’re utterly confused and wonder why i God’s name someone would make you stand single file when instead you could get a piece of paper with a number on it.

2. Fika fika fika – Drink coffee, have cake. 10AM, 1PM, 3PM, with your friends, in an office, on a boat (with a goat). Rinse and repeat.

3. Drink Bäska – Forget OP Andersson and Fläder brennavin. Want the real deal? Drink Bäska. If you survive two shots, consider yourself a true Swede. If not, go home and drink the Icelandic Brennivin to work up your tolerance.

4. Visit Drottningholm (or any castle) – Swedish castles are all located on beautiful grounds. For the most part, you can hike walk in the woods and enjoy the beautiful Swedish nature.

5. Pick berries and mushrooms – Part of the rights under allemansrätten, you can pick berries, fruits, plants, and flowers on any property as long as you don’t disturb the owners or are picking directly from their garden (that would be lame to take strawberries from the house garden – and illegal in this case). The summertime should be filled with berry picking and chanterelles.

6. Eat meatballs – You can eat them at a restaurant but the best is to make them at home with mashed potatoes and fresh ligonberry jam. Mums! Need a recipe? Just follow the Swedish Chef‘s instructions.

7. Take a boat ride – As long as you have access to water, hop on a boat and take a ride to a popular or deserted island. On the west coast there’s Marstrand and tons of uninhabited islands, on the east coast of Sweden, there are all the Stockholm city islands and boats to Fjärdaholmarna, Vaxholm, and Grinda.

8. Sunbathe at the beaches – I use the term ‘beach’ loosely as it could mean sunbathing by the water on a lot of rocks. Or it could mean having an actual sand beach. And by sunbathing I mean being a solar panel, with or without your clothes.

9. Picnicking at 10pm – In the summertime, you’re guaranteed to lost track of time because the sky is never dark. Have a early dinner outside grilling lax and meats and then enjoy the orange sunset while the sun disappears for a mere three hours. It may sound cheesy but on a good, clear night, the sun is bright orange like a fireball. Get on a hill to see it.

10. Watch Eurovision – There are two ways to watch Eurovision in Sweden: because you love it or you love to hate it. Both are acceptable forms of watching. And you get extra credit if shots are involved to make fun of your homeland Sweden.

Is there anything you do with friends that guarantee your Swedishness? And speaking Bork gets you double extra credit.

Technically, a Swede is a rutabaga.

Seriously, it is.

Wikipedia says so.   It has to be true! Actually, it is true…the kålrot is called a swede in the commonwealth countries.

If you want to know what a Swede, the person is, well, I found an interesting blog post from an old blog called Living in Sweden by Ngala.   The text of his post, “What or Who is a Swede,” was found in computer lab in Umeå.

”
A Swede is tall, blond, blue-eyed, and wears a woolly hat in the winter.   By nature he is shy, reserved, serious, industrious, and finds it hard to laugh at himself.   He is also a creature of habit and every morning gets up at 5.30 to give himself enough time to read the morning newspaper before going to work.   Since work does not usually start until 8 o’clock, this can only imply that a Swede is also a slow reader.

Apart from himself, his chief interests are money, his job, his home, ice-hockey, and his family (in that order). He also loves animals – especially dogs – and spends hours cycling through the town dragging a huge and ferocious German Shepherd behind him on a leash.

A Swede is usually punctual, honest, reliable, clean, has his own teeth, and is law-abiding. Evidence of the latter is particularly noticeable at pedestrian crossings.    No matter what the weather is like, a Swede would rather get soaked to the skin than cross an empty street when a red light is showing.   Similarly, he always wears a seat belt, never drinks and drives, always has a television licence, usually hands in his tax-return on time, invariably has a plastic bag in his pocket when he walks his dog, and never has a bath after 10 o’clock.
”
{This article goes on quite a bit but as I’m not the copyright holder and have already gotten in trouble by my big-brother-eyeing-advertising network, I’ve taken down the text. Make sure to visit Living in Sweden to read the rest of the article.}

What do you think?

Sometimes I’m amazed at how Swedish I have become. I love the wintertime and snowfall and the darkness doesn’t bother me that much. Laundry bookings prevent a run on the washing machines Saturday morning, and the despicable Systembolaget is clean and full of helpful information when buying wine.

There are some Swedish things I cannot live without. Perhaps I have truly lost my mind.

Kalle Anka önskar God Jul

Finally, a country that loves Donald Duck more than Mickey Mouse. Plus, you have to be drinking glögg and eating pepparkakor.

Inga Skor
No shoes in the house. Seriously, why would you wear shoes in the house? After steeping on concrete, rain, asphalt, shit, used papers, grass, stones, Americans will go home happily and put those nasty shoes on the couch. And you look at Europeans for double-dipping the salsa with disgust.

Fika
A special time, and it doesn’t matter what time, for coffee and sweets.

Allemansrätten
Known as “everyman’s right,” allemansrätten provides Swedes the ability to experience nature and the outdoors without restrictions. The main covenant of allemansrätten is “do not disturb, do not destroy.”

This allows you to camp on public and private lands (not restricted lands) for up to two nights without permission. When you leave, there should be no evidence that you stayed.

You also have the right to pick berries, mushrooms (not black truffles, they grow underground), and flowers for yourself.

It’s a wonderful right that promotes being neighborly, respecting the outdoors, and learning about nature.

Semlor
A soft bread bun filled with soft almond paste and delicious whipped cream. Who wouldn’t like it?

Matches

Gustaf Erik Pasch used a non-toxic red phosphorus in 1844 compared to the existing yellow phosphorus used to light the match. No idea why Solsticken’s baby logo looks just like the Water Babies’ sunblock baby.

No wonder Swedes love candles!

25 Days of Vacation
As a full time employee, 25 days is the minimum under Swedish law. Swedish law also states you have the right to take 4 weeks off in July. I never have, but I split 2-3 vacations throughout the year.

This makes me want to be a more productive employee – relaxed, refreshed, and happy to not fight for vacation days.

Systembolaget
I hate you, but I still need you.

Osthyvel

The most amazing thing since sliced bread, sliceable cheese!

photo by Rauenstein, Creative Commons Some Rights Reserved.

Skatteverket DIY Taxes
Doing taxes has never been easier and in a way, more fun! Skatteverket, the Swedish Tax Authority, sends you a massive yellow colored, 4-paged glued tax document with your earnings and taxes and then tells you if you need to pay or if you get taxes.

If you have deductibles, they’re so easy to fill out, you’ll beg the IRS to do the same.

Oh, and you can snail max, text message, phone call, or online submit your taxes. Winning!

Wafflar, Kanelbullar, Lussekatter
Basically all sweets are delicious in Sweden. Even those super marzipan, sugary tartlets. The exceptions to the rule are licorice ice cream and salty licorice. But then again, there are days I have licorice ice cream.

I am sure I will come up with more…