Lost in Stockholm

It’s been a long time since I wrote anything about dating in Sweden. Frankly it’s a bit difficult when you are tied in a monogamous relationship that is quite happy. I mean, no one, not even myself, wants to hear about how happy and mushy gushy a relationship is.

But now it is winter and -25C outside and time to start writing, serious writing, Henry David Thoreau style.

In a week I will be joining in, as a special visitor to a day game seminar and field training on how to pick up beautiful women. And these beautiful women are in Sweden. In the cold-hearted country up north.

With whom? And why? And what’s wrong with you Sapphire? Those pick up artists guys are just douche bags trying to pick up hot chicks. Well, no not really. Pick up artists (though can hold a negative connotation) is a person who is skilled at seducing another person. These people are really seduction artists. The insanely famous book The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss (the brilliant New York Times writer) delves into the world of meeting beautiful women who are smart and sexy and actually like you back.

Since I’ve become fascinated by PUAs, a couple months ago I went out for a beer with Jeremy Soul, the most famous day game master of all. And folks, he’s a really nice chill guy. So cool that I’m going to be attending his workshop to learn more and pick his brain about dating in Sweden. You can read a lot about the nature of relationships on his blog.

And follow along with me on how to pick up Swedish girls.

Swedish girls are everything what you fantasize about. They are tall, beautiful, blonde (although artificially blond dyed hair), busty, athletic, and strong. These viking women are the enigma wrapped in a conundrum because the men still haven’t figured them out.

If dating Swedish men was confusing enough, then dating Swedish women must be more so. I’m a girl, an American-Indian girl, and therefore am not Swedish. But I have a few Swedish girlfriends and they all have opinions of their fellow male counterparts. Some comments are downright ballsy. Swedish guys have done a good job of losing their balls over the years, part thanks to feminism, part thanks to super tight jeans that served as self castrating devices.

First off, if you are man, Swedish, French, American, British, you have to learn how to smooch and booze with those hot Swedish women. A lot of booze, it helps.  Second, it seems that foreign men in Sweden have an advantage over the Swedish men.  Be happy and use it wisely.

Blond beautiful Swedish women

Here’s what Swedish women think of Swedish men:

• Kinda shy – the men just watch you and wait forever before they will come speak to you.
• Difficult to figure out
• Snåla – a bit greedy and stingy, swedish men don’t invite girls out much
• Too dependent on alcohol – the boys drink to get drunk, and it’s very gross. If swedish men learned to drink for pleasure and not got wasted, it would be easier to have a conversation and think they are sexy. In Southern Europe, people drink wine, beer, alcohol with class. Up in Scandinavia, people drink like the end of the world is coming. Plus, drinking a glass of wine on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday is akin to alcoholism, yet it’s okay to get wasted drunk from Thursday to Saturday. Where’s the moderation?
• No alcohol = no conversation, the Swedish boys have no ability to communicate without the clutch of alcohol
• Too emotionally distant and far away

What Swedish women LIKE/ WANT Swedish men to do:

• Be courteous – maybe open doors, pull out chairs, a little bit of chivalry is good
• If you invite someone for dinner, then you could at least pay for it!
• Buy a gift to show your affection; it’s nice to receive presents
• Have some balls and guts and speak to me! “Hi, what’s up” does not count.  We want  to talk about real stuff, not just the weather.
• Stop counting every krona spent at a meal, it’s embarrassing to decide who got what drink, what side dish, etc.  Can’t we just split the bill like normal people?
• Be a man and stand up for what you want

After reading all these comments you must think, “damn, how do Swedish men and women mate and have lots of babies?”  I wonder that too, and I’ll put the blame on the dark swedish winter and the bright swedish summer.  You also must think that Swedish women hate their fellow men.  It’s part true, more Swedish women are interested in foreign men than they are in other Swedes.  Boredom, lack of balls, and overall disappointment are contributing factors.

What can you learn from this?  Like I said, if you are male and not Swedish, you already have a leading position.  If you have the ability to speak to girls without being a pussy and make good conversation, again, major brownie posts.  And finally, if you have some gentlemanly qualities,  the beautiful blond Swedish girls will be all over you.

As my friend put it:  Swedish blond bombshells may be tough and viking-like on the outside, but they are still soft, delicate women on the inside.  A Swedish woman deserves to be treated as such.