Dating Swedish Men Q&A

Hej ladies! I’ve been reading through the hundreds of comments on the site and have some general questions and answers that may help you on your guide to dating swedish men.

You can read all the other dating in Sweden posts here:
The New Questions on Swedish Dating
Dating in Sweden…We Americans need a guide
The A to Z Guide on Dating Swedish Men
The Dying Questions for the Swedish Men

These are just my opinions along with general opinions of other ladies and gents who posted comments. But readers, feel free to add in your own as I am now an oldie on the dating married market.

Question: “Where do I find Swedish Men?”

Answer: Sweden contains a lot of Swedish men but they can be rather hard to find and keep. Online dating through Match or Spray is very popular. I also recommend Online Dejting (in swedish) to read dating reviews.

If you are not in Sweden then I recommend checking out Swedish clubs in the States as a starter. Most countries will have not have the Embassy of Sweden, but cultural events open to the public.

Q: “I met a Swede while studying/taking a trip a trip abroad. It was like love at first sight. We spent several afternoons together, hanging out, going for walks. He’s incredibly passionate and yet shy. Now that I’m back home, we chat online nearly everyday. It’s been a couple months and now he’s gone cold all of sudden. He doesn’t know if this is “right” or possible. What should I do?”

A: You need to be honest with yourself. Do you like the Swede, love the Swede, or see having babies with the Swede? Or maybe he could be a rebound or time pass for now. Really think about how you are compatible with him and he is to you, than falling for The Look or his shyness. Most Swedish men are shy but direct and can play hot and cold.

If you really like him and want to see him again, then you should tell him so. If he doesn’t respond, then it’s his loss. Collect yourself and find a better fish. I believe your playdate and soulmate will present themselves at the right opportunity.

Q: “Do Swedish men take awhile to say ‘I love you?’ Or they just say it because?”

A: Swedish men may not say I love you immediately because they interpret love differently. Perhaps he really likes you and wants to spend time with you but love is not in the picture.

I think a lot of American women put too much pressure on men saying I love you rather than developing the relationship.

I’m also going to refer to Björn’s answer below:
‘Dunno about the “love you part” it might be the truth, you have to understand that over here its a bit different in some things. You can for example meet a girl and have a very passionate time but more often than not its not more than that and people move on. It could very well be that he might be set in those ways and not think further than that even though he might actually have very strong feelings for you and not sure how to convey them.’ –Björn

Q: “So is that a normal thing.. that we always have to initiate the conversation (online)?” -clotilde

A: Judging from commenters, it does seem the women are initiating the conversation more than the Swedes. I don’t know why. Maybe he’s shy, maybe he doesn’t know what to say (small talk is not their strong point), or maybe he is an ass.

Whatever you do, don’t be the one to always initiate the talk. Then you become his crutch.

Q: “I guess my question would be how honest and faithful are Swedish men? Are they players as we say in America?” – Dian

A: Swedish men have the same probability of being faithful as American men or any other men for that matter. Swedish men prefer to seriously date one girl at a time. They also are not as heavy in playing the game or having wingmen. With that said, I do know some Swedes who date multiple girls at a time, like American guys, but they have no intention of having a girlfriend. Just some fun.

Q: “Do you think some Swedish men can fall in love with a woman that is curvy or a few extra pouds or is this a sign of laziness with their culture?” – Irene
A: Of course! Just because Swedish people tend to be blonder, boobier, taller people of the world doesn’t mean they don’t fall in love with different people. If you’re curvy bit still have a wonderful attitude and personality, it shouldn’t matter.

Q: I met a Swede in my class. He’s really cute and shy. We sit next to each other now and do talk. Will he ask me out? I’m not the type to ask a guy out but from what I’m reading here, the women do the asking.”

A: Yes and no. If you like him and he’s Swedish, then you should get his number and ask him out. For a coffee (fika), a drink, study date, something. If you still like after that, then do tell him that you dig him. That will put the ball in his court to reciprocate.

These are not all the answers on dating swedish men but I hope it makes you ladies less nervous and more confident.

Remember, you deserve to be with someone who loves you, not someone you have to chase down.

Married? Life is Short. Have an affair.

That is the new advertisement I am seeing all over Stockholm. They started a couple days ago and in Swedish say, “Är du gift? Gör livet levande – ha en affär.” And this ad was at a bus stop. You know, a place where kids can hang out and ask their parents why people should have affairs.

It could be just my liberal mind, but this seems warped. Actually closer to f’ed up. A company actively promoting adultery?
married? have an affair dating site
This is from Victoria Milan a dating site that’s like the other oddly British named company Ashley Madison (though not British). Great how both have old British names.

And even better that when you do a Google search for the competitor Ashley Madison, half the results are for “Ashley Madison: Scam or Site” but actually are veiled sites in support of the company.

We have a company that has “scam” reviews on the homepage of Google. Then both the IP address and mail server of also serve the domains and Sounds like a good place to do business. You know, loyal and all.

Victoria Milan, the company with the classy bus stop ads promoting infidelity in the United Kingdom, Norway, Sweden, and Denmark seems to be the newcomer. Dating in Sweden has just become that more complicated.

So while adultery is no longer a crime in most countries and US states, you can still file for divorce and take everything if you can prove infidelity. Though Victoria Milan has an “Ethics and Law” statement on their site that says, “We are not celebrating nor promoting adultery,” doesn’t a bus stop advertisement count as promoting adultery? Or was this a valuable PSA to all the kids out there?

I smell subpoenas for two companies promoting violating a sacrosanct commitment.

Wow, and I thought I was liberal!

You know You’ve been in Sweden Too Long…

I am coming up on my third winter in Sweden. Third winter! How the hell I survived the first two is beyond measure (the first was fine, the second was being affixed to a overloaded iced cake).

For the past month, I have been more serious and thoughtful with my posts; especially controversial. Hell, who doesn’t love controversy and bashing? If I write about Swedish men singing, no one would comment. If it was a group of naked Swedish men with flatbreads dancing on TV, I might get more comments. Oh yea, and here’s the video of The Dance of the Crispbread:

To try not to fall into November depression and psych myself out for Christmas in Sweden, I found a list of “You know you’ve been in Sweden too long.” The current list is more than 400 items! And they are funny. Bat shit funny.

I extracted 100 points and added a few of my own. Grab your stor stark because you know you have been in Sweden too long if…

  1. Pagan and religious holidays are just a cover to get trashed.
  2. The first thing you do upon entering a bank/post office/chemist etc. is to look for the queue number machine.
  3. You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.
  4. You wonder how people afford beer.
  5. You are disturbed when no one gives you a bed sheet and bedding set when you crash on their couch.
  6. When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume:
  7. a: he is drunk
    b: he is insane
    c: he’s an American

  8. You don’t think twice about putting the wet dishes away in the cupboard to dry.
  9. A friend asks about your holiday plans and you answer “Oh, I’m going to Europe!” meaning any other Western European country outside of Sweden.
  10. Wearing black leggings with floral dresses is fashionable.
  11. You buy red pants for your sambo because it is fashionable.
  12. A sambo is not the same as a samba, särbo, or mambo.
  13. You can spot a stekare, a Swedo, because of his hair gel trail across Stureplan.
  14. You see a student taking a front row seat on the bus and wonder “Who does he think he is?”
  15. Silence is fun.
  16. The reason you take the ferry to Finland is:
  17. a: duty free vodka
    b: duty free beer
    c: to party hard. .. no need to get off the boat in Helsinki, just turn around and do it again on the way back to Sweden.

  18. Your coffee consumption exceeds 6 cups a day and coffee is too weak if there is less than 10 scoops per pot.
  19. You pass a supermarket and think “Wow, it is open, I had better go in an buy something!”
  20. A sharp intake of breath has become part of your vocabulary, as has the sound “Jah hahh”
  21. Your native language has seriously deteriorated. Now you begin to “eat medicine”, “open the television”, “close the lights off”, “take a beer”, “look upon everything” and tell someone to “follow with me” or “you needn’t to!” You start to say “for 2 years ago” and expressions like “Don’t panic” creep into your everyday language.
  22. Having someone go home from work early because the dog sitter left is not weird.
  23. Your notion of street life is reduced to the few teenagers hanging out in front of the railway station on Friday nights.
  24. Your bad mood becomes your good mood.
  25. Sundays no longer seem dull with all the shops closed, and begin to feel restful instead.
  26. “No comment” becomes a conversation strategy.
  27. Wearing anything else than black clothing during the wintertime would be sacrilegious.
  28. You have only two facial expressions – smiling or blank. Also your arms are just hanging down when you chat with other people.
  29. The fact that all of the “v’s” and the “w’s” are together in the phone directory seems right.
  30. Your old habit of being “fashionably late” is no longer acceptable. You are always on time.
  31. Hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay.
  32. You begin to understand Johan Tornberg’s broadcast of the hockey game.
  33. You wear scarves all the time; even in the summer.
  34. You hear loud-talking passengers on the train. You immediately assume:
  35. a: they are drunk
    b: they are Finnish
    c: they are American
    d: all of the above

  36. You give up on trying to find fat-free food and pile on the butter, cream and sugar.
  37. You know how to fix herring in 105 different ways.
  38. You eat herring in 105 ways.
  39. Your front step is beginning to resemble a shoe shop.
  40. You start to differentiate between types of snow.
  41. You get offended if, at a dinner party, someone fails to look you in the eyes after raising their glass for a toast
  42. Seeing a young woman with lit candles stuck to her head no longer disturbs you.
  43. You become extremely skilled at assembling pre-packaged furniture kits.
  44. “Candles” are a permanent fixture on your weekly shopping list.
  45. You think being a rebel is crossing the street with a red walk man sign.
  46. You think it is normal EVERYTHING is regulated and you obey the rules voluntarily.
  47. When someone asks you for “sex” you assume they mean half-a-dozen.
  48. All winter you dream of what you will do in summer, and summer is the warmest day of the year
  49. Bringing dead sticks indoors at Easter and hanging coloured feathers on them seems a good way to celebrate spring.
  50. You start eating egg and bacon instead of bacon and eggs.
  51. You ringed somebody yesterday instead of you rang them.
  52. You look at the cracks and dog poop on the sidewalk instead of smiling at people.
  53. Your husband is very long instead of being very tall.
  54. You understand The Swedish Look.
  55. You think coffee is supposed to look and taste like mud, complete with a mouthful of coffee ground sediment.
  56. You pay the TV-avgift because you think you’re getting your money’s worth watching SVT.
  57. You start looking at socialbidrag (welfare) less as an absolutely desperate last resort and more as a way of life.
  58. When someone says “Cheers” you look at everyone in turn before drinking.
  59. You know that going for a coffee is a first date.
  60. You think there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.
  61. You pour filmjölk (soured milk) on your Kellogg’s Frosties.
  62. You put tomato sauce (as in Heinz Big Red) on your macaroni. Just tomato sauce. And love it.
  63. Planning your day around buying alcohol is perfectly normal. Because everyone wants to spends their lunch hour in the queue at the alcohol store.
  64. You start believing that good service is overrated.
  65. You don’t even get surprised when the doctor, not only can’t help you, he/she can’t even diagnose you.
  66. You take it as a given that your wife/husband will get so wasted on Midsommar that he/she will end up in bed with someone other than yourself.
  67. You tailgate people who are driving 120 on the freeway.
  68. You hide 5 or 6 bottles of spirits in your suitcase, one or two in your backpack, and put just one in the duty free shopping bag.
  69. You think there is nothing wrong with planning Christmas around Kalle Anka (Donald Duck).
  70. You don’t even think about what you are saying when you are off to the shop to buy your favourite brand of cat food, and you say, “Be right back love, I’m just gonna go get some Pussi”
  71. You start to miss falukorv when you go on vacation
  72. You would never ever even consider using a metal knife on the butter.
  73. While visiting England someone gives you directions and says, “It’s about 5 miles down the road.” You in turn ask, “Are you talking Swedish miles or English miles?”
  74. You only leave the country to stockpile cheap alcohol.
  75. Drinking is the fundamental pillar of your social network, be it coffee or alcohol.
  76. You aimlessly chat using SMS.
  77. A “big strong one” is a beer.
  78. You find that you can’t spell in English anymore. You now replace C with K. Like panik, automatik, seasik, arithmetik…. and you try to remember does papper/paper have one or two p’s in English?
  79. You still wonder how people afford beer on the weekends. And weekdays too.
  80. You think that the 25kr ICA bonus cheque is generous after spending 2500kr in their shop.
  81. It seems normal to you that you’ve been bleeding in the emergency room at the hospital for four and a half hours when the three doctors walk by on their third coffee break since you got there.
  82. You know every Swedish brand and random fact.
  83. When someone cuts you off on the freeway and instead of giving them the finger, you simply mumble “eedeeyout” under your breath.
  84. You even lock your car to take a pee on the side of the road.
  85. You no longer think it odd that you talk to your kids in English and they answer in Swedish.
  86. You find it completely natural that otherwise sensible people dress up in silly hats on several occasions in August in order to eat crayfish and drink as much schnaps as possible.
  87. You eat open faced sandwiches.
  88. Christmas has changed so much that you only associate it with rice porridge, lucia cats, and Donald Duck.
  89. You don’t think twice about calling someone in the next room using your mobile phone.
  90. People buy you a drink in November because they remember when you bought them one in March.
  91. Opening your Christmas presents on the 24th of December no longer seems like cheating.
  92. You eagerly await Eurovision and Melodiefestivaln during the wintertime.
  93. You can use bra, fart, and slut in the same sentence without giggling.
  94. You don’t understand why your friend from Mississipi took offence when you referred to him as a yankee.
  95. If you meet someone you haven’t seen in ages you just stay right where you are chatting away even if that happens to be in the doorway of a very busy department store.
  96. You stop thinking you’re being yelled at every time you hear “Hey!”
  97. You either run for the last pendeltåg at 1 am or choose to party on until 5 am when they start again rather than endure the horrific night bus home, as a taxi ride would require taking out a 2nd mortgage.
  98. ICA is not I.C.A – it’s eeka.
  99. Gift is not a present but it could be dangerous (whether it is poison or marriage)
  100. You know that “fan” is a swearword, and not an admirer or an air conditioner.
  101. You eat pizza with a knife and fork.
  102. The only thing in your quick memory is “Hej” and “Hej Hej” in swedish
  103. You think Sweden is big (because you always compare it to Finland, Norway or Iceland)
  104. You think is perfectly normal that people get in to nightclubs/restaurants with innerbandy stick and shopping bags.
  105. You think is perfectly normal that nobody talks on the bus, train or tunnelbana.
  106. You accept that people talk to you only when they are really drunk.
  107. Food delivery, like Spisa hemma, is cool because you don’t have to go to EEKA in 3 meters of snow.
  108. You’ve won the lottery when you dive bomb into SystemBolaget 23 seconds after it officially closed.
  109. You accept that the best answer for a question is always “Jag vet inte” meaning “I don’t know”.
  110. You know the Swedish “Jo” sounds is like a “yo-yo” and when you pronounce Johan, it looks pretty funny – Yo-Juan!
  111. You are laughing because you know this is all painfully true.
  112. You buy an ( S ) sticker for your Volvo even if you are living outside the borders of Sweden.
  113. Reading this makes you wonder why the hell you moved to Sweden in the first place.

The New Questions on Swedish Dating

It’s that time again! The dying questions for swedish men is chock full of goodness of information.  Before we start on our new questions about swedish dating, here’s a summary of what we know about swedish men and women.

Swedish men:
Are very good listeners
Are quiet and shy
Help doing house work
Cook dinner, breakfast or a little smörgås
Give the look
Are respectful
Like foreign girls (who doesn’t like anything exotic?)

Swedish women:
Want romance too
Love confident men
Are beautiful
Like foreign men
Are sensitive at heart

And now the A-Z of questions we still discuss and ponder about.  A big thanks to all the readers who continuously comment and share their love stories.

  • If I like you (i’m a girl), can I text/call you first?
  • Can you summarize Swedish dating culture in one/two words?
  • Is Swedish boy interested in me if we chat online for several months and have wonderfully intense conversations?
  • Do you think some Swedish men can fall in love with a woman that is curvy or a few extra pouds or is this a sign of laziness with their culture?
  • Do Swedish men prefer texting/emailing to phone calling?
  • What is the best place in Stockholm to find a Swedish guy?
  • Do Swedish women give the look too?
  • What in general seems to be the Swedish man’s standing point on women who have children from a previous relationship?
  • Do Swedish men give compliments randomly to women? If not, are they trying to hit on the girls?
  • What are signs of flirtatious behavior?
  • Why do men need to be on the verge of blacking out to hit on women?
  • Does the ‘player’ culture exist?
  • How the hell do you ask out a swede?? or make “a move” on him?
  • Do they like blonds or brunettes?
  • Is it true Swedes are very rude?
  • Is it true that Swedes hate monogamy?
  • Do they fall in love really hard?

It’s not easy dating Swedish women.  And the swedish male proves to be both confusing and amusing.  Just remember, they’re still people too, and sometimes a man is just a man.

The A to Z Guide on Dating Swedish Men

It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a guide to dating Swedish men!

First off, thank you to all who have posted on the Dating in Sweden post. It is so awesome and wonderful to see people share their stories and help each other. This post is being closed now because it has more than 200 comments!!! But, let the stories and pondering continue here as we figure out the A to Z of Swedish men.

A – American Dating, what’s that? “We have sex first, then see each other.”
B – Beautiful and blond. How awesome is that?
C – Confusing; few understand the male species and even less understand the Swedish man
D – Dutch dates are possible, especially if in Sweden.
E – Equal opportunity. Hold that door for yourself.
F – Fashionable. Men sport color and style in Sweden!
G – Growing chest hair, not a fur coat, is needed. (Anonymous comment from a male friend)
H – Hair gel is a necessity, not an option.
I – IKEA will be the ‘big step’ in your lives as couple.
J – Jeans, can they get any tighter?
K – Kinky … so the rumors say…
L – Lagom. They want life and love and everything else in between to be “just right” or rolling down the middle of the road. Pushing men too hard left or right, risks alienating them and sending them away.
M – Mysterious. Ask many questions, answer few of their own.
N – Nagging is what girls may feel when the Swedes are unresponsive. It’s okay, give the guys some space and time to write/text you back.
O – Obtuse, like any man, the Swedish man has proven to be equally if not more obtuse at times.
P – Punctual; don’t show up late for a date.
Q – Quiet and shy describes 90% of Swedish men in Sweden and 10% abroad. Okay, exaggeration but they lose their very quiet nature when going abroad.
R – Rude; if you don’t know the ways of Swedes, they can be perceived as rude. This is especially true if you believe the man should pay for dates, etc when he is more in dutch / equal paying.
S – Sambo, rhymes with mambo, is the traditional way for Swedish being ‘together’ but not married.
T – Text messaging is the best way to communicate with Swedish men. It may be the best way to communicate in general for Swedes.
U – Unemotional, hard-to-read, and sometimes stoic, the Swedish man keeps his feelings to himself.
V – Valentine’s Day is nearly nonexistent in Sweden; don’t fret if nothing happens on this un-special day.
W – Wintertime is the period in the year to not dump your swede. Stay inside and cuddle during the miserable Swedish November. When springtime approaches, feel free to move on to greener grass.
X –
Y – Youthful appearance but sagacious within.
Z – Zealous with text messaging. Really? I still have not understood the obsession with texting. :P

Any other A to Z’s to add? More quandaries faced by the foreign woman?

10 Commandments of being a Pick Up Artist

After taking the blue pill and heading down the rabbit hole of the pick up artist industry, I learned a lot of the industry teachings is about instilling common sense and confidence in men.

This is third part to my series about the Stockholm Sweden Day Game Workshop I attended under the dating coach Jeremy Soul and under the Love Systems Corporation.
Part I: Umm, you wanna be a Pick Up Artist?
Part II: Playing THE Game by Challenging Darwin’s Game

On a side note, Love Systems is the company that evolved from Mystery Method, as made famous by Neil Strauss’ book, The Game. Love Systems is today riding high on crack because of its ability of taking the pick up artist industry (PUA) and turning it into a scientific method.

The training
Four hours in the classroom and four hours in the field. For those counting beans, the whole workshop is $1495 for the day. Yes, US Dollars. C’mom boys, give me your Benjamins and i will teach you the way into a woman’s universe. While it is pricey for a cheap bastard like me, I highly recommend it if your love life is in a rut and needs to be kicked started again.

And what did we learn? I created my list that is inspired by Jeremy Soul. ALL these commandments are important for even the Swedish man to find a girl; after all, we do spend plenty of time complaining that Swedish men are bad at picking up Swedish girls.

Sapphire’s 10 Commandments of Meeting Women:

  1. 1. Accept Rejection –  It happens to all of us: we are rejected by some pretty guy or girl.  Don’t be disheartened; throw out the negative thoughts and move on.  And while you may have sulked and cried about it in the past, don’t do that now.  It’s wasted tears and energy.
  2. 2. Don’t Expect to Get Every Girl – Going hand in hand with Commandment 1, not every girl is attracted to you and vice versa.  Sometimes you will see a beautiful girl and then start talking to her and realize, “blaggg, this one is emotionally vacant for me.”  That’s cool, just go talk to another girl.
  3. 3. Be Confident – Working through the rejection part is the first step of being confident.  Love your work, your hobbies, your friends, your family and you will be confident. Exuding confidence is akin to pheromones; women go crazy when they see men who are sure of themselves.
  4. 4. Have a Personality –  Have you spoke to someone who had the personality of a cardboard box?  It was so painful that you wanted to recycle them or crumple them up right away.  Be creative and excited about your life.  If you don’t know how to have fun with your life, why should any girl care about you?  And be sure to demonstrate that you have a personality, ie. “I love running everyday” or “Hiking on the glaciers was the best sport I ever did” Whatever it is, show the girl that you have a personality.
  5. 5. Don’t Be Drunk – Biggest turnoff ever. EVER.  Drunk guys do not produce good pick up lines.
  6. 6. Have a Good Wingman – Wingmen are the guys that you go with when meeting women, especially in the evening.  Having a wingman will allow you to have a higher status and meet girls in groups.  And a good wingman is a guy who can back you up, know when to step down, entertain the other girls, and overall, make you look good.
  7. 7. Try, Try, Try Again – Don’t give on picking up women, it is tantamount to romantic suicide.  Be confident that you have the ability to speak to women and that you are decent guy just trying to make his way.
  8. 8. Travel –  Traveling away from your comfort zone will force you to interact and meet new people.  You will also have fun stories to share and broaden your knowledge of the word.
  9. 9. Poor Posture will Kill You, Literally – Stop slouching and stand up straight.  Remember when your mom bugged you to not hunch over?  Keep you back straight, shoulders back, and stomach tucked in (not sucked in).  Poor body language sends a subconscious message that you have low self esteem.  If you are approaching Swedish girls especially, they love confident looking men.  A slouchy guy who doesn’t stand properly is not that.
  10. 10. Pick Up Lines Must Not Be Lame – The “Hey baby, how’s it going?” line is so lame is makes me laugh and cry every time I hear it used.  Or the “What’s your name sweetheart?  Can I get your number?” Nooo, why the fuck should I give you my number, I have no idea who you are creepy bastard.

Umm, you wanna be a Pick Up Artist?

It’s been a long time since I wrote anything about dating in Sweden. Frankly it’s a bit difficult when you are tied in a monogamous relationship that is quite happy. I mean, no one, not even myself, wants to hear about how happy and mushy gushy a relationship is.

But now it is winter and -25C outside and time to start writing, serious writing, Henry David Thoreau style.

In a week I will be joining in, as a special visitor to a day game seminar and field training on how to pick up beautiful women. And these beautiful women are in Sweden. In the cold-hearted country up north.

With whom? And why? And what’s wrong with you Sapphire? Those pick up artists guys are just douche bags trying to pick up hot chicks. Well, no not really. Pick up artists (though can hold a negative connotation) is a person who is skilled at seducing another person. These people are really seduction artists. The insanely famous book The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists by Neil Strauss (the brilliant New York Times writer) delves into the world of meeting beautiful women who are smart and sexy and actually like you back.

Since I’ve become fascinated by PUAs, a couple months ago I went out for a beer with Jeremy Soul, the most famous day game master of all. And folks, he’s a really nice chill guy. So cool that I’m going to be attending his workshop to learn more and pick his brain about dating in Sweden. You can read a lot about the nature of relationships on his blog.

And follow along with me on how to pick up Swedish girls.

Group Sex and Swedish Women

I was eating a delicious lamb roast when we got into the discussion of Swedish women.  Because of course Swedish girls are like little lambs:  soft, sweet, and delicate.

There were a couple friends who happened to be single males, and well, sans blond Swedish girls.  Of course, one single Asian girl (on her quest to find a Swedish man in Sweden) had to ask the single boys why they were not sambos yet.  The answer:  Swedish women are formal in nature and too feminist.  The guys said there was no spark.  No silly fun  with the women they dated.  They missed feeling the little bubbles of energy between a couple.  And some girls were so independent the men felt emasculated.

But a third guy, a potty mouthed hilarious Indian, chimed in that Swedish women really want a manly man.   The whole ultra feminist attitude is just a song and dance cover that they enjoy the delicateness of being a girl and want to be taken care of.  His solution?  Hold your ground and don’t become like the Swedish man just because you are dating a Swedish girl.  Be the man, continue your cultural ways, and love her to bits.

Of course this brings me to the title of the post, group sex.   Because I bet that’s why you’re reading this post.  First, a bit about funny Swedish laws.  A Swedish school teacher was convicted of buying sexual services (remember selling prostitution is legal, buying is not) but he cannot be fired from his job.  He also seems to be a mastermind organizing group sex between professionals and girls, where some girls were paid.  Of course, to him, no biggies.

And since “criminality outside of the workplace usually isn’t sufficient cause for firing,” says  Sofie Rehnström (legal expert with the Swedish Trade Union Confederation (LO)), group sex is an all go even if you pay for it.   Hey, we’re in Sweden, violating the law is like getting a spanking.  Except spanking is illegal.

Going back to our dinner discussion, we learned that group sex at some of the Swedish universities exist.  As recently as 2004 at least.  How it works you ask?  There’s a sign up sheet on the bulletin board with a date and time (location is the same) and you just sign up.  And then show up and have fun.   I’m not sure where this puts sexual nature on the map in Sweden, but surely somewhere.

While some Swedish students are pursuing group sex in college, others are trying to figure out how to effectively date a Swedish girl.  Then they figure the group sex thing is easier then courting the Swedish bombshells.

It’s kinda like getting stuck in the revolving door.

Meet a Beautiful Blonde Swedish Girl? Dating Swedish Women isn’t Easy

Swedish girls are everything what you fantasize about. They are tall, beautiful, blonde (although artificially blond dyed hair), busty, athletic, and strong. These viking women are the enigma wrapped in a conundrum because the men still haven’t figured them out.

If dating Swedish men was confusing enough, then dating Swedish women must be more so. I’m a girl, an American-Indian girl, and therefore am not Swedish. But I have a few Swedish girlfriends and they all have opinions of their fellow male counterparts. Some comments are downright ballsy. Swedish guys have done a good job of losing their balls over the years, part thanks to feminism, part thanks to super tight jeans that served as self castrating devices.
Swedish Girls
First off, if you are man, Swedish, French, American, British, you have to learn how to smooch and booze with those hot Swedish women. A lot of booze, it helps.  Second, it seems that foreign men in Sweden have an advantage over the Swedish men.  Be happy and use it wisely.

Here’s what Swedish women think of Swedish men:

  • Kinda shy – the men just watch you and wait forever before they will come speak to you.
  • Difficult to figure out
  • Snåla – a bit greedy and stingy, swedish men don’t invite girls out much
  • Too dependent on alcohol – the boys drink to get drunk, and it’s very gross. If swedish men learned to drink for pleasure and not got wasted, it would be easier to have a conversation and think they are sexy. In Southern Europe, people drink wine, beer, alcohol with class. Up in Scandinavia, people drink like the end of the world is coming. Plus, drinking a glass of wine on a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday is akin to alcoholism, yet it’s okay to get wasted drunk from Thursday to Saturday. Where’s the moderation?
  • No alcohol = no conversation, the Swedish boys have no ability to communicate without the clutch of alcohol
  • Too emotionally distant and far away

What Swedish women LIKE/ WANT Swedish men to do:

  • Be courteous – maybe open doors, pull out chairs, a little bit of chivalry is good
  • If you invite someone for dinner, then you could at least pay for it!
  • Buy a gift to show your affection; it’s nice to receive presents
  • Have some balls and guts and speak to me! “Hi, what’s up” does not count.  We want  to talk about real stuff, not just the weather.
  • Stop counting every krona spent at a meal, it’s embarrassing to decide who got what drink, what side dish, etc.  Can’t we just split the bill like normal people?
  • Be a man and stand up for what you want

After reading all these comments you must think, “damn, how do Swedish men and women mate and have lots of babies?”  I wonder that too, and I’ll put the blame on the dark swedish winter and the bright swedish summer.  You also must think that Swedish women hate their fellow men.  It’s part true, more Swedish women are interested in foreign men than they are in other Swedes.  Boredom, lack of balls, and overall disappointment are contributing factors.

What can you learn from this?  Like I said, if you are male and not Swedish, you already have a leading position.  If you have the ability to speak to girls without being a pussy and make good conversation, again, major brownie posts.  And finally, if you have some gentlemanly qualities,  the beautiful blond Swedish girls will be all over you.

As my friend put it:  Swedish blond bombshells may be tough and viking-like on the outside, but they are still soft, delicate women on the inside.  A Swedish woman deserves to be treated as such.

PS – I’m well aware that this post constitutes a generalization. Please don’t comment that I’m stereotyping and stereotyping sucks, wah wah wah. Everyone generalizes; get over it. Your comment will not be approved.

Please however comment on something more constructive. Perhaps why Swedish women have a reputation of being blond/beautiful or why the negative reputation of being “sluts.” Or your experience dating a Swedish girl or being a Swedish girl and dating.

How to Find a Foreign Girl in Sweden

My whole blog has been addressing the issue of dealing with Swedish boys, but what about Swedish girls or foreign girls in Sweden?   We already know how to pick up a Swedish man. How can we teach the Swedish guys to talk and meet us foreign women?  We like to complain that Swedes have no clue how to talk to foreign girls here in Sweden, so let’s give them a clue.

Ladies, here are some questions for you answer.  It helps if you are single and on the lookout for a Swede here.

  • Where do you hang out? Where do you expect to meet guys?
  • Do you expect men to make the first move or would you?
  • What cultural differences have you noticed that affects the dating scene?
  • Are you willing to go about “dating” in Sweden the Swedish way?
  • Did you come to Sweden as a love refugee and it didn’t work out? What lessons will help you meet a new man?
  • What qualities do you look for in a Swedish man?

Swedish guys, come to this post and get some tidbits of knowledge about meeting a foreign girl.