On Wednesday, President Obama became the first president ever to endorse that gays “should” have the right to marry.

I do wish he said “right” instead of “should” but at least he’s taken the first step.

My original post went by wayside because everything I had written was outdated.

Instead, I will share a few thoughts and leave you with hilarious and bizarre quotes from the pundit wagon.

First, living in Sweden is a blessing when it comes to equality and rights. Sure, Swedes may not always see that have equality to the best extent and that at times some groups of people receive equality at the expense of others. But living in Sweden is so different from America for two reasons: gay rights and religion.

When I moved to Sweden, no one ever asked me what my religion is. Other immigrants do, especially those from Middle East/South Asia, but in general, no Swede has cared what my religious beliefs are. And I only talk about them when we have a discussion about religion related to culture/politics/society.

All in all, I feel safe being who I am and practicing my religion without requiring ‘absolution’ from others.

Second, gays and lesbians have the right to marry. Civil unions have been legal since 1995 while the Riksdag passed the marriage resolution in 2009.

And that is awesome. The right, the left, and the center parties don’t have wedge fights over gay rights. Krisdemokraterna is the only party opposed to gay marriage but they make up a very small percentage of the political spectrum.

Which brings me back to the United States. This is an election year. Everything is up for grabs and the conservative base is moving further right than anyone else. Yet they are a powerful group of citizens.

When Obama announced on Wednesday for his support of gay marriage, the conservative right said he was using social issues instead of economic issues as the center of the presidential race. They screamed he’s doing this for ‘political reasons’ and making this an issue when unemployment should be the driving issue.

But the conservative have been using social issues all year long to drive support for Republican candidates at the expense of discussing the economy and education.

And it is insane. Earlier this year Congress had to act on one of the dumbest provisions ever: that employers can refuse coverage for birth control under insurance plans if it “morally offends them.” That’s just one example of Congress and politicians making social issues more important than economic issues.

I would not be surprised if gay marriage becomes the center of attention this year like it did in 2004. George Bush Jr ran on the promise of a “constitutional amendment to define marriage as between one man and one woman.”

He won. No amendment ever came to pass, or even close to it, but Bush successfully divided and destroyed the country’s ability to function as a united front in one go.

This time, I hope Americans come to the conclusion that gays are people too. That gay rights is a human right, not states’ right. Just like abortion was a state issue until Roe v Wade and interracial marriage was a state issue until Loving v Virginia, gay marriage will make its way to the Supreme Court one day.

Some rights are just bigger than a state’s right, and this is one of them.

Until then, let’s hope for a more open and tolerant America. Or, a banishment of idiots who pander on Fox News (brought to you by the same friendly wire-tapping parent company, Murdoch).

I will leave you with quotes from across the US from this past week. Some hilarious and some, downright frightening.

From Mitt Romney, Republican presidential candidate
“My view is the same as it’s been from the beginning,” Mr. Romney told a CBS affiliate in Denver. “I don’t favor civil unions if it’s identical to marriage, and I don’t favor marriage between people of the same gender.” Asked why he opposed civil unions, in particular, he explained that in many cases they represent marriage by a different name for gay couples.

“If a civil union is identical to marriage other than with the name, why, I don’t support that,” he said Wednesday.

 

From Stephen Colbert, comedian:
“I would like to read to you what The Jesus said about homosexuality. I’d like to but he never said anything about it. Evidently. Evidently, Jesus was so filled with rage that he was speechless.”

 
From Jon Stewart, The Daily Show:

Don’t you love Fox News and their viewpoints on everything in life?!

My mom love licorice, like real licorice candy in the US. The Swedish variety was too salty for her tastes but she still enjoyed them. And she’s the only person I know in the US that actually ate real licorice candy, not the “red licorice” or alternative fake licorices.

On Sunday when I went to the Lakritsfestivalen {Licorice Food Festival}, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was on a mission to figure out why Swedes love licorice, but I did not expect to fall in love with licorice too.

Boy oh boy! Licorice is delicious.

Soft, chewy.

Sweet, salty (not too salty though!)…

And flavored with citrus or berries, yum!

I had so many interesting flavors and types of licorice at the festival.

Powdered licorice
It’s the new culinary ‘in’ thing. Martin Jörgensen, founder of Lakritsfabriken, says to “Use it as a spice and add a dash of it to your sweet and savory dishes.”

What licorice powder looks like

He made this delicious panne cotta with licorice

And he also made raspberry smoothie. That was amazing! Raspberries and licorice are like best friends.

Others used the powdered licorice to season salads (no tasting available) and in cotton candy. That was nuts.

Candies, fudges, jams and everything else in between
At the show, there were the traditional candy powerhouses Malaco and Panda but the most exciting was meeting all the small boutique companies.

My stash of licorice infused goodies

The orange confiture with licorice from Liquorice Reglisse, an Italien company, will be exciting to try! I had no idea Italy is one of the largest produces of licorice from the southern region called Kalabria.

A favorite was the Australian soft and slightly sweet candy from Kookaburra

Cupcakes

Lots of interesting and somewhat odd flavors:
Michelle Obama – chocolate, almond, raspberry, licorice
Black Violet – licorice, violet, salt licorice
Old school – licorice, anise, fennel, pistachio nut
Finnish citrus – licorice, lemon, salt licorice
H&D – chocolate, star anise, salt licorice
Pingvinen {Penguin} – licorice, mint, salt licorice sauce

Super über salty licorice from Iceland

Mini cupcakes from Damen med Bakelsen

Chocolate

Frejyu Lakkris Draumur – Supposedly the first licorice+chocolate created

Macaroons

Bath & Body infused licorice
Can you imagine candy-infested smelling store Bath and Body Works selling a licorice soap, shampoo, and massage oil?

Queen of Licorice did just that. They make organic soaps, massage oils, lip balms, shampoo and conditioners. Licorice is a medicinal plant and it’s ability to cure dry coughs, excema, dandruff, makes it magical plant used in ayruvedic medicine for thousands of years.

The Queen of Licorice products are meant to help people with dry and flakey as well as improve their mood (licorice releases adrenline in the body). I picked up a massage oil in the hopes of curing my excema on my arm. Let the experimenting begin!

Licorice Books
The books are not made of licorice; they’re books about licorice. I know, disappointed.

Annica Triberg and Annika Wallin wrote the definite guide to licorice called Lakrits. It’s a historical, cultural, and cookbook all rolled into one. So far it’s only in Swedish but available at the major bookstores. I already love the book and have learned so much about this little root.

Did you know that people used to brush their teeth by using a piece of licorice root and rubbing it on the teeth? True story.

Lakrits, Mynt, & Choklad is a cookbook by bestselling author Elisabeth Johansson. I flipped through the book and everything looks amazing. Still need to get my hands on one, I’m excited to try my own licorice panne cotta.

All in all, it was a great time and I’m hoping to try out some licorice based recipes now!

This is part III on my Swedish Candy Series. Be sure to check out parts I and II.
Plockgodis – Be an Expert at Picking from the Candy Bins
An Introduction to Swedish Candy

Swedes love licorice, as they love candy. There is no group of people more obsessed by this root, say for the Finns, than the Swedes. Sweet, salty, neutral are ingrained in Swedish candy culture.

Americans on the other hand, find licorice to be downright bizarre. Even though the US produced two of the oldest licorice candies, Good & Plenty and Crows, you will see few Americans indulging in a licorice root.

And so I went on a quest for understanding why Swedes love licorice and where that love stems from.

A table full of candy from Beriksson’s Import at Lakritsfestivalen

The answers, from various licorice confectioners, writers, and a herbalist was surprising.

Annica Tryberg, coauthor of the book Lakrits, said, “Licorice falls into the Swedish palette: salty and sweet. Many Swedish dishes like gravad lax and types of sill are salty. Salty licorice brings out comforting, homely flavors that we love.”

Pelle Petterson who works with importing Icelandic licorice said, “Icelanders love strong, salty licorice, it matches our taste for food very well. They were also the first to commercially produce chocolate with licorice, Freyja’s Draumur, which could be loved by everyone.”

Many people said licorice candy is popular because of the love for salty foods. Sweden, and the rest of the Nordic region, had to rely on salted meats and fish to last through the long winters. That love of salt did not dissipate when licorice was introduced at the apoteket as a medicinal product in the 1800s.

I think that since licorice gives an adrenaline boast, it can improve people’s spirits during the long winters and combat SAD (seasonal affected disorder).

In the 1800s the apotek {pharmacy} sold licorice roots as a medicinal product. Lisan Sundgren, a herbalist and cofounder of Queen of Licorice, a natural beauty company using licorice, said, “To aid with digestion, psoriasis, dandruff, the dry cough, all common ailments in in Sweden, licorice was and still is a natural remedy. It’s cheap and safe for the body.”

Sweet licorice in the form of licorice paste could also be found at the apotek to satisfy a sweet craving. Liquorice’s sweet tasting component is the glycyrrhizin acid, a compound 30-50 times stronger than sucrose (natural sugar).

In the 1930s Malmö Lakrits Compani (later Malaco) formed and began selling Sweden’s first licorice candy.

While several licorice candies were on the market by that point, Swedish licorice differed in flavor from its Anglo counterparts. Swedish lakrits was stronger and salter. Part of it was the licorice paste (the extract) and part was the usage ammonium chloride to give licorice a strong, pungent flavor known as salmiak.

Today, licorice is enjoying rock star status as the next big thing in the culinary world. While children may still eat Panda lakrits and licorice ropes, adults are experimenting with licorice powder, paste, and syrups.

Cupcake STHLM licorice cupcakes

Still, the best answer to why Swedes are in love with licorice could be answer by Martin at Cupcake STHLM.

“Swedes and licorice have similar personalities: it takes time to become friends and break down a Swede’s barrier. In the same way, it takes time to learn and love the taste of licorice.”

I agree. Even though I may not allow the lakrits plockgodis to fraternize with the chocolate pieces, I feel in love with licorice today. It took me thirty years.

Pea soup gave me nightmares for years.

soup + dessert = epic swedish win?

And it still does, but a couple weeks ago AB and I ventured to Blooms Café at Mariatorget and took the plunge for the traditional pea soup with pancakes lunch; a cornerstone of Swedish cuisine. The girl at the register was convincing.

trying my soup…

AB is suspicious of the greenness

The soup was delicious. Blooms used fresh green peas, instead of the typical yellow peas for the Swedish version, and blended it with some cream and spice. I think the soup could have had more cream but it was filling and perfect for a rainy day.

We then ate our pancakes, I finished all mine since I left a little soup in the bowl; maximizing real estate in my tummy is paramount when dessert is involved. They served traditional Swedish style pancakes, closely resembling French crêpes, with whipped cream and raspberry jam.

My husband, like any Swede who’s attended school, or even military training and prison, will know that on Thursdays pea soup is served as the meal of the dal. Even today at his office cafetaria, they serve peasoup with pancakes.

The tradition stems from needing a hearty meal before Friday fasting in the Catholic faith. Sweden was Catholic for a short couple hundred years following the Danish influence of dismantling the old Gods in favor of one God. In the 1500s Sweden dropped Catholism and became a Protestant, Luthern, country.

Plus the Swedish King was evidently poisoned through his pea soup. Forensic evidence done recently however has not been able confirm if he would have been able to die the residual arsenic found in the soup.

The tradition of pea soup before fasting remains ingrained in the culture today. From schools and prisons serving it, you can find the ready made yellow pea soup at the groceries in the funny sausage style tubes.

I have not had yellow pea soup but I have had dalh, Indian lentil soup, from yellow split peas. Delicious because of the garam masala, onions, and ginger. The Swedish version I hear is not as exciting.

Instead, I recommend the fresh green pea soup for your Thursday Swedish meal. It is like spring with a dash of cream. If you want the yellow pea soup, perhaps go Indian style and be sacrilegious.

The best reward of finishing pea soup means enjoy pancakes with jam and grädde. Mumms!

Tissue pompom fun – so cute!

A baby shower is a party thrown for a mom to be having her first child one to two months prior to her due date. A couple best friends throw the party to welcome the mom-to-be into the ‘club of moms.’ Women have an afternoon to chat, eat, and enjoy each other’s company.

A usual women-only event, baby showers can be tailored to be co-ed; add in the beer baby bottle game and you’re set. But for guys attending, let them skip the present opening time. They will die with the amount of of ‘ooohing’ and ‘awwwing’ happening.

Plus, guests bring gifts for the newborn baby which are opened at the end of the shower. The gifts are practical: onesies, diapers, bottles, and anything new parents may need. A baby shower helps offset the expensive cost of clothes and items for newborns.

The baby shower we hosted mixed American and Swedish culture. The party itself was of course American but we kept to simple styles and colors to be elegant, which brought out the Swedish style.

Mom to be with her presents!

We played a couple fun games such as matching guests names to their meanings and a short story game.

We skipped the super gross game where you smash different type of chocolate candies in diapers and then everyone has to guess which candy it is. It’s meant to look like poop. Ewww.

And of course we had a food table since the party was late afternoon along with a dessert table. A dessert table is a must!

I baked a whole ton of cookies, cupcakes, and a four layer cake. It was catatonically wonderful.

All the girls enjoyed the shower, especially the Swedes. As one girl remarked, “why did we have to import Halloween? Baby showers are much more fun!”

True! How can you not love whimsical and happy?

I think every mom-to-be should have an opportunity for a baby shower. It’s an afternoon to feel special and enjoy time with your friends.

If you want to throw a baby shower in Sweden, here’s what you need:
1. 10-20 female guests – this includes friends, sisters, mom-to-be’s mom, and sister in laws. However one to two best friends hold the shower.

2. Invitations – Ecards work best and are cheap and easy to keep track of.

3. Decoration – Cutlery – Cute, baby decoration is hard to come by in Sweden so I suggest going with whimsical colors instead. Solid or polka dotted pastel colored napkins and tablecloths are perfect. Buy little plates or pull out your dessert plate collection (I picked up 18 porcelain dessert plates for 200:- at Stockholm Stadsmission).

4. Decoration – Tissue pompoms – Tissue papper {silkespapper} is really hard to find. You can find 8 sheets for 30:- but when you need to make 15-20 pompoms, that will be ridiculously expensive.

And forget Panduro, they are the worst craft store ever. Ever. Go to Matton (store on Luntmakagatan 66 at Rådsmansgatan) for tissue papper, crepe papper, pens, and basic art supplies. For paint, oil pastel, pencil and canvases visit Kreatima on Sveavägen.

5. Desserts – Cake – A cake is a must. Ours was a four layer cake in pink ombres. It’s easy to make provided a layer does not crack apart, which happened to me. Still delicious and with a cream cheese frosting. Yum!

6. Desserts – Cookies – Whimsical cookies according to the theme of the party are great. For the baby shower I did a take on Noah’s Ark so did a pair of animals. If you want the recipe for the sugar cookie and royal icing, post a comment and I’ll throw one together. And if you have to buy cookie cutters {pepparkaksformar} in Sweden, which is expensive, I recommend here or here but not Kakburken.

Mums…desserts!

7. Games – Two to three games are plenty to get the group involved with each other, especially if you notice people are not mingling. My favorite games are:

* Meaning of Names – Take all the guest names and find their meaning through one of the baby name or Swedish name sites. Print out a sheet with the guest names and meanings jumbled up and the players have to match the correct ones to each other.

* Story game – Give everyone 20 words, 10 baby words (barnvagn for example), 10 non baby words (beer for example). Players have five minutes to write a story using all the words. Players can be as silly or serious as you want.

* Stoller race – If the weather is great then take a game outdoors. Strap in a teddy bear to a stroller and set up a makeshift racecourse. Players are timed for fastest racing as well as keeping teddy intact.

Baby showers usually take place in the afternoon or late afternoon. If you’re having a party in the late afternoon, provide some food of substance instead of desserts only.

And of course, in a non jante way, make the mom-to-be feel special!

Many of these ‘issues’ in the US are not issues in other developed societies (gay rights and abortion for example), yet we make an entire political campaign on a wedge issue that does not to improve the economy or state of the union.

Abortion
The hottest topic ever to cross modern societies: do women have the right to abort fetuses? And where does a embryo become a fetus with feelings?

I am pro common sense and I am pro rationality but I will not stand for people who pledge abstinence, are against abortion, and then use welfare stamps to feed their many babies because they lacked common sense to do family planning.

We should institute a new bill. If one believes contraception and abortion is immoral, then they and their family are not eligible for welfare stamps, Medicaid, or any poverty assisting program benefits. They are too poor to take care of a child but too ignorant to use a condom? I am not using taxpayer money to take care of more ignorant children they create.

Just like the people who want welfare recipients to take drug tests to get benefits, welfare recipients should take “Common Sense” tests to prove they have enough brains to not screw up the next generation of babies they create.

Gay Marriage
It is shameful to know a that country like the United States can stand at the same level as Uganda. They want to pass a bill that will not only criminalize homosexuality but can carry the death penalty for engaging in homosexual acts. Who’s helping them? Conservatives in the United States.

When people still feel it acceptable to strip others of their human rights because they share a different point of view is a slippery slope to playing God and marginalizing people. In extreme cases that leads to genocide.

Contraception
Most epic idiotic battle ever. The Senate votes 51-48 to table a bill that would allow “employers and health insurance companies deny coverage for contraceptives and other items they object to on religious or moral grounds.”

Hypothetical stupidity: If you are an employer, you could deny health coverage for X-rays because you know, taking an x-ray is stealing someone’s soul. And that violates you religious beliefs. Therefore all your employees covered under company insurance will not be allowed to get x-rays.

Quoting Rush Limbaugh, the conservative pundit who has a drug problem amongst a myraid of other personal issues.

“What does it say about the college co-ed Susan Fluke [sic] who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says that she must be paid to have sex. What does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute. She wants to be paid to have sex. She’s having so much sex she can’t afford the contraception. She wants you and me and the taxpayers to pay her to have sex.”

Yes, he really said that. He also said that these women should post their sex videos since taxpayers are paying for them to have sex. Posting the online videos includes married people too; because married people should not have safe sex either.

It should be noted that many women take the Pill not because they are sexual active, but because it helps regulate menstral flow, decrease acne, and can lessen heavy bleeding.   They too would be denied coverage if the bill passed.

According to conservatives, no one should be having sex, ever; before marriage and in Limbaugh’s case, after marriage.

Guns in Bars
The second amendment has done a number on people’s beliefs to carry guns wherever, whenever, however. Even if you are not drinking, you should not carry a gun in a bar. It’s dumb and unsafe.

Would you feel safe knowing the guy next to you was packing heat and drinking a supposed Coke-cola? Because you could always end up like the Tennessee senator arrested for DUI and carrying a gun in his car. And he was the one who introduced this bill.

And in light of the recent murder of Trayvon Martin, self defense gun laws need to investigated at a deeper level.

Universal Health Care 

Call it whatever you want Bill O’Reilly and other conservative pundits. The fact is 49 million people are uninsured. When one of those people get sick and go to hospital, guess who pays the bill? Taxpayers. Hospital care is costly and can be 10-50 times more expensive than if a person was treated at a doctor’s office and received care.

I do not want to pay from my tax money for people to fall extremely sick and burden our dysfunctional health system. We pay the highest amount per capita (double the amount of Switzerland that is in second place) and yet still do not have the healthiest people. The system is totally fucked up.

Let’s fix it, get people coverage (not free coverage), and make American healthier to work and live.

Hasn’t anyone realized that a healthy American is a hard working American? And a hard working American leads to a economically stable society?

The Tax Code
The IRS and the myriad of forms to fill out in tax season is bat shit crazy insane. I am never sure what the hell I am supposed to be filling out. Add to that, that Mitt Romney’s tax pressure is barely 14% and mine is close to 30% pisses me off.

Ideally we would trash the current system, put a new one in that based on income (and by income I mean ANY way the dollars enter your bank account – stocks, equity, trusts, W2) and make life simpler and fairer for all.

Unfortunately, the tax code is the most complex set of rules and laws, that it will take years to fix.

Until then, please don’t arrest me because I forgot to disclose my ICA card in my Treasury filings.

Intelligent Design
Awesome, so you really believe that Mr. T-Rex roamed around with our forefathers. Just please, keep your tyrannosaur off of crack.

English as the National Language
We live in the United States. Our Constitution and all our bills are written in English. I know people speak Spanish but none of our legislation is written in Spanish. Pass a bill that English is the official language of the United States but that Spanish (or any other language) can be used as a working language.

This is the same mess happening in Sweden since the government forgot to make any language the official one of the country. Opps.

In addition, students have the right to learn second or third languages as long as their main language is English in school. Students should be required to learn second languages from grade school to high school. We need the next generation to speak English fluently and prove they are capable of competing with global workers who also speak second and third languages.
 

Higher Education
Yes Rick Santorum, President Obama does want people to have higher education, even for just one year. And calling him a ‘snob’ makes you a fucking moron.

Every American, legal or not, should obtain some form of higher education. Be it a vocational degree or a PhD, everyone should be able to be a better, more educated American.

The idea that we will “bring our jobs back onshore” only works if people are capable of doing those jobs. If Americans are not educated enough or lack basic skills, why would anyone want to hire them?

Get people educated to compete against the world, that will bring our jobs back home.

There are more issues, but these are the main ones that make me want to be a better American and stand up for those who have had their rights trampled upon.

Here are some organizations to read more about:
National Organization of Women - http://www.now.org/
Planned Parenthood - http://www.plannedparenthood.org/
The American Jewish World Service – http://ajws.org/who_we_are/
American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) - http://www.aclu.org/
The White House – www.whitehouse.gov
Fact Check – http://factcheck.org

I love you America, but don’t break my heart and take part in archaic ideology. Let’s make the country a better place to live and work.

The discussion may get heated. Please keep it civil and read the Comment Policy before you say something idiotic. I have the right to take down your comment if it is counterproductive, inflammatory in nature, discriminatory, threatening, or non-productive. But do have a discussion!

Seriously, it is.

Wikipedia says so.   It has to be true! Actually, it is true…the kålrot is called a swede in the commonwealth countries.

If you want to know what a Swede, the person is, well, I found an interesting blog post from an old blog called Living in Sweden by Ngala.   The text of his post, “What or Who is a Swede,” was found in computer lab in Umeå.

”
A Swede is tall, blond, blue-eyed, and wears a woolly hat in the winter.   By nature he is shy, reserved, serious, industrious, and finds it hard to laugh at himself.   He is also a creature of habit and every morning gets up at 5.30 to give himself enough time to read the morning newspaper before going to work.   Since work does not usually start until 8 o’clock, this can only imply that a Swede is also a slow reader.

Apart from himself, his chief interests are money, his job, his home, ice-hockey, and his family (in that order). He also loves animals – especially dogs – and spends hours cycling through the town dragging a huge and ferocious German Shepherd behind him on a leash.

A Swede is usually punctual, honest, reliable, clean, has his own teeth, and is law-abiding. Evidence of the latter is particularly noticeable at pedestrian crossings.    No matter what the weather is like, a Swede would rather get soaked to the skin than cross an empty street when a red light is showing.   Similarly, he always wears a seat belt, never drinks and drives, always has a television licence, usually hands in his tax-return on time, invariably has a plastic bag in his pocket when he walks his dog, and never has a bath after 10 o’clock.
”
{This article goes on quite a bit but as I’m not the copyright holder and have already gotten in trouble by my big-brother-eyeing-advertising network, I’ve taken down the text. Make sure to visit Living in Sweden to read the rest of the article.}

What do you think?

These are the overall standings, not just the most popular names from the past year.

1. Maria

2011 Rank: 100
Number of women in Sweden with the name: 444599
Number of men in Sweden with the name: 619
Name day: 28 February
Maria Montazami, the girl from all the annoying casino Ving ads (I confused her with Victoria Silvstedt) and is the ‘hemmafru i Hollywood’

2. Anna

2011 Rank: 84
Number of women in Sweden with the name: 302591
Number of men in Sweden with the name: 11
Name day : 9 December
Anna Bergendahl of Melodiefestivaln

3. Margareta

2011 Rank: Not in top 100
Number of women in Sweden with the name: 248121
Number of men in Sweden with the name: 0
Namne day : 20 July
Margareta Valdermarsdotter, queen of Denmark and Norway, 1387-1412, and over Sweden, 1389-1412.

4. Elisabeth

2011 Rank: Not in top 100
Number of women in Sweden with the name: 202428
Number of men in Sweden with the name: 8
Name day: 15 November
Elisabeth Söderström, opera singer for the Royal Opera House

5. Eva

2011 Rank: Not in top 100
Number of women in Sweden with the name: 191582
Number of men in Sweden with the name 3
Name day: 24 December
Eva Röse, actress

You can see how Christianized Sweden is today. There are few popular Nordic names which is a disappointment because they are beautiful and fun to say!

Statistics are from http://svenskanamn.alltforforaldrar.se/

The benefit for them – they make a lot of money; the benefit to you – you’re stuck in a vicious cycle as a guy to give, give, give some more.

V-Day is a holiday that makes me puke. Men are coerced into buying useless gifts for women they are barely dating. The holiday revolves all around “making her happy” and sexist ideaology.

It is a codified domestic prostitution day: man buys gifts, woman wears skimpy lingerie. Hmmm, what could possibly happen next?!

Now I don’t have a problem with women wearing sexy lingerie or men buying gifts. The issue is doing it on one a single day because society and industry convinces you it is the right and only thing to do.

* Whatever happened to buying roses for your sweetie, guy or girl, when you felt like it?

* Whatever happened to going on a weekend trip, just because you want to with your sweetie?

* Whatever happened to women buying chocolates and roses for their men?

How has a holiday about love turned into a materialistic game for men to be “real men” and buy lavish gifts? And for women to dress super sexy because the way to show your appreciation for gifts is to wear sexy lingerie.

American commercialization happened. Here’s a series of online advertisements from websites in the US. I’m sure you Swedes will find them amusing and insane.

1800 Flowers – MAKE HER HAPPY!

 
Victoria’s Secret – Expect nothing less from them

 
Tiffany – For a $20,000 ring, sure, I love you!

 
Sears – Quite possibly the only store advocating that men can receive gifts too! Sacrilège!!

 
Kays Jeweler – They never have enough TV ads to hammer in the point

 
Godiva – Because without chocolate, Valentine’s Day is a useless holiday

 
De Beers – The master of making a carbon ston

 
Hallmark Greeting Cards – Seem to be coming to their senses by saying V-day is for everyone, meaning “us”.

Valentine’s Day in School in America
I remember in seventh grade, a girl named Yvette received some 200 helium balloons, dozens of dozen roses, several boxes of chocolates, and a couple dozen teddy bears. It took AND her possy to drop everything off at the school admin desk so she wouldn’t be a “distraction” for the students.

And in seventh grade, boys use all their income to woo and coo a girl who probably doesn’t care they walk the earth. A Shakespeare tragic comedy in the making.

And Valentine’s Day in middle/high school usually means girls are either crying or boasting their new-found riches. I was in the former category as dating was never an option on the table until I was 20. Guys were therefore just friends, and I quite liked it that way. But still, being one of the many people who were not showered with Valentine grams, roses, chocolates, teddy bears, makes you realize how unpopular you really are.

That’s the psychological impact of Valentine’s day: no one can be as popular or well showered with gifts as the next person. I think many of remember having conversations of,
“Oooo, what did he give you for V-day?
Oh, did you hear Becky’s boyfriend gave them a week holiday to Hawaii!
Oh sweetie, it’s okay to not have a valentine, you’ll meet someone special I promise!”

At home, my parents and I always celebrated Valentine’s day together. After all, it was only our little nuclear family in America, so sending me off somewhere for a weekend away from them didn’t make sense.

Even though my dad bought my mom beautiful roses for V-Day, he bought her roses and flowers all year long. When he traveled for work, he would buy us little gifts and even real NY apple pies when coming from NY. He bought mom jewelry whenever she wanted and Dunkin donut’s for me as a treat.

{And of course he bought her things when he was in the dog house}

It was Valentine’s Day every month in our house.
 

Today, I’m really happy to not have to deal with that shit and I pray Sweden’s little kids don’t get sucked up into a cultural phenomena that men have to buy gifts to prove their “love” and women can demand gifts from any potential boy in their class.

{Though I did torture my husband and tell him he had to buy a valentine gift on our sixth date in three weeks. He bought a full set of lotions and scrubs from The Body Shop. It proved that we are both crazy.}

But tonight, we’re making crepes with friends and drinking a good bottle of champagne and eating treats. Valentine’s day is a holiday for everyone, even our little bunny.

And because I don’t need lame ass roses for my husband to prove his worth.

An English guy who is dating a Swedish girl asked her to take him to a nice Swedish restaurant in Sweden.

Knowing that there were just too many Swedish restaurant choices, she took him to the one place with universality when it comes to food.

Blindfolded, they took the train and bus to this mysterious restaurant. When she took the blindfold off of him, the English boy saw “I K E A” in giant, yellow letters on the side of a building.

“IKEA?! Isn’t this a furniture store, not a restaurant,” he exclaimed.

“No älskling, there’s also a restaurant in here too!”

They went to the restaurant on the 4th floor and ordered meatballs with lingonberry jam and mashed potatoes. It was after all, only 35SEK for 16 pieces.

“Just so you know dear, this isn’t a restaurant. It is a bloody canteen in a furniture store.”

“Yes, but you wanted Swedish meatballs didn’t you?”

Lesson learned – before you ask to go to a Swedish restaurant on a date, find out if they serve meatballs for 35SEK. And I wonder if you would go dutch.