A Non Love Letter to System Bolaget (The Swedish Alcohol Monopoly)


thanks to mindrepanda.com for this image.

Dear System Bolaget,

Your whole ’system’ is a joke.  The guise of being a responsible seller without profit motive is just an attempt to gain moral authority and powertrip.  After more than 100 years of being abolished and the far majority of the OECD countries eliminating an alcohol monopoly (except for Canada, Norway, Finland and Iceland), you still see the need to control people to help make “better decisions.”  The excuse for not having an alcohol monopoly?  These far fetched facts conducted by left wing researches from unknown institutes in the United States and elsewhere. If the alcohol monopoly was eliminated, supposedly this would happen…

In approximate numbers it would entail:

  • And an increase of 16 millions days of sick leave.
  • An increase of 1,600 deaths per year.
  • An increase of 14,000 in reported cases of physical abuse.

After working in Sweden for sometime now, I know that there are plenty of Fridays where people stay at home and “work.” Because instead of taking the sick day, it can be easier to take a work from home day. I wonder if you, System Bolaget, recognize all those “work from home” days as time wasted as well.

And what about the restrictions? So by telling me, an adult, what I can buy, where I can buy, when I can buy, that makes a more responsible drinker? I don’t feel more responsible, in fact, I feel the opposite: that the Swedish government has taken control of what I can and cannot do when it comes to alcohol. Although I guess it’s okay that grown adults are treated like little children while given the right to a “healthy drinking culture.” Wow! I feel special, I can participate in a healthy drinking culture because the government controls it.

But what about free market? And monopolies? And asymmetric information? Everyone who studied economics knows that monopolies, no matter what industry, is bad for free market. Of course, since System Bolaget is here to protect us, having a monopoly is okay. Controlling information is okay. What information you ask? Pricing, profits, research studies: it’s ALL done by bolaget, there’s no third party to get the information from.

Why yes, who wouldn’t trust an authoritative, controlling body that decides what alcohol to buy, how to sell the alcohol, where to sell the alcohol, what hours to sell the alcohol, what information to be released regarding the research studies it undertakes, what financial information to disclose to the public, and most importantly, WHY it is the authority. Sounds like a church to me, specifically the churches that claim all rights and authority over its citizens because it’s doing it for their safety and security. And being not so religious, I am weary of church propaganda.

I am lucky to have not lived in Sweden all my life and be tied to a controlling store where I can:

…enjoy Systembolaget’s drinks without harming either ourselves or other people. (source)

Really, if I drink the magic potions from Systembolaget, I won’t harm other people? Wow, an even better miracle!

Thanks you Swedish alcohol monopoly, you managed to seduce me and strip my rights away while on your power trip. I am so proud to live in a free country.

PS- I’m tired of seeing those stupid blue or purple bolaget bags. You couldn’t get any more conspicuous than that.

October 29, 2009 | 5 Comments »

The Swedish Male Look

I met a little swede a few months ago while I was still living in the US and for the one time in my life, I made a move on him. He was already living in the states for the past eight months but, that really doesn’t change swedish ways; especially male swedish mating ways.

So the backstory: I went to the Scandinavian happy hour; it was of course full of $3 spatens, 80 beers on tap, and many many Swedish men (a couple token Norwegians and women were around too). When I first met my little swede*, Þórbjörn, I was introduced by another mutual friend who happened to be an insane Norwegian lacking a filter on his mouth (that’s another story). I was jokingly introduced as the mistress girlfriend and of course the Swedes in this group of five, giggled. Yes, the men giggle. And then everyone introduces themselves in a typical fashion but then Þórbjörn here, says hi and gives the swedish male look. It is THE look for a swedish man interested in a woman. They refuse to accept the existence of such a look, but it does indeed exist.

THE Swedish Male Look
What is it? Ladies, you know the look you give a man in the bar/restaurant/party etc that you’re interested in him? You look at him, make eye contact, smile shyly, look away, look back at him, and turn away. That, is basically the look a Swedish man gives.

He is an expert at staring at the floor even when none is in line of sight. He will look at you very shyly, smile a little, bat his eyes and look down at the floor at the same time, then look back up at you. I call the ‘devil in a sheep’s outfit’ look. It’s very innocent and endearing but you know and he knows, there are very naughty intentions behind it.

This look is the definite sign of trouble. Ladies in Sweden, if you get this look, you either move in for the kill or move on. He’s played his move with his shy, quiet Nordic self; he’s waiting for you now. It’s subtle. He already drank a few beers and mustered up the courage to give you the look. So, you better your know it.

And if you can recognize the swedish male look, you’ll know how to hunt down any Swede you want. And if you are timid with men, like myself, well you are partly screwed. This is Sweden after all, and the women pick up the men.

Välkommen till Sverige.

*Since the little swede doesn’t have a very Swedish name in real life, I’m going to give him one: Þórbjörn. Okay, that’s Icelandic but whatever. Or maybe Pehr.

March 31, 2008 | Tags: , , , | 12 Comments »