Le Douze Points of Absurd Moments in Eurovision 2013

Eurovision has come and gone. And that means a recap of the train wreck, madness that overtakes Europe for a week.

It’s always sad though, I wish Greece would win so we could all bail the country and own Eurovision for ourselves.

Anyway, the best, worst, and epic from Eurovision Song Contest 2013.


Cameos make an appearance – 1-7 Points


Robert Palmer – Because nothing is sexier than doing the chicken dance
belgium eurovision 2013
But nothing is quite as sexy as Palmer’s girl. Oh yea, sexy moves.
robert palmer gif

Shakira
Belarus Eurovision Shakira

Because hot Brazilian girls singing about the sun come from Belarus…

… the land of raining teddy bears.
belarus teddy bear free speech

Bonnie Tyler…
CHARITY Pinktober 000282
Oh wait, that was real.
simon facepalm


Even Heros can Fall from Grace – 8 Points

V
gavegoodface

Thor
Thor Eurovision 2013

Hodor
hodor ukraine eurovision


But when heros fall, Katniss is there to save us – 10 Points


Moldova Eurovision 2013 Meme Hunger Games

Katniss hunger games on fire gif


In the end, there’s always room for Dracula. – 12 Points


Just.

too.

AWESOME.
Romania Vampire Eurovision Gif Meme 2013

romania eurovision 2013
Bram Stoker did create an eternal love story after all.
'

5 Odd Midsummer Traditions for the Uninitiated Foreigner

Midsummer {Midsommar}, was this past Friday. It is a national holiday hailed as the first day of summer and a reason to eat fish and get wasted.

It is also, for the uninitiated, a very crazy day. I didn’t want to spoil the fun for those of you who celebrated your first midsommar this past weekend, so I waited until today to share the list of crazy things Swedes do at the festivities.

When I celebrated my first midsummer in Sweden, I really had no idea what to expect. I had been warned though that the Swedes will drink a lot, eat a lot, and sing a lot. What I was not prepared for, was passing out after four shots of nubbe {aquavit} because the cowboy doctor (he was a Swedish doctor with a cowboy hat) claimed I need proper initiation.

And then, I passed out for thirty minutes, only to awake to people still singing and drinking!

Of course later on, we danced and danced, played games, and ate some more.

From that experience and those over the years, here is my list of five strange things Swedes do. And, believe me, you’ll enjoy them once you get over the shock!

1. Sing about frogs – That’s right, you dance around a phallic symbol and dance like frogs. If you have not performed this tradition, you have not had a proper midsommar.

2. Dance around a phallic object – So the cross made from leaves, branches, and flowers represent the penis and the two round hoops represent, well, balls. As in most pagan customs, the phallic symbol represents fertility and strength. Cheers to fertile froggies!

3. Taste every type of pickled herring ever made – Mustard herring, onion herring, garlic herring, sour cream herring, spiced herring, dill herring, mixed herring, and on the list goes!

4. Sing all the time – For that matter, midsummer seems to be the day that Swedes not only get outdoors, but they get out their vocal chords. You sing to toast, you sing to eat, you sing to drink, you sing to eat, you sing to toast, you sing to dance. You SING!!! If you have a terrible voice, this is probably the time to mindlessly mumble to yourself since chances are, you don’t know the words to the songs anyway.

5. Seven flowers – Actually I think this is rather sweet. Collect seven different flowers and place them under your pillow. It is said you will dream about your future spouse. All the single ladies find some flowers.

There are plenty of delicious strawberries for dessert and silly songs to be had, but the Swedish midsommar is by far a fun and happy holiday. If you want to have your own midsummer at home, it is easy too, check out my post on DIY midsummer.

Do you have a strange tradition during midsommar? We would love to hear about it!

Yes, I’m Still Alive

As most of you notice, I post sporadically now. Or semi sporadically. Or really, whenever it floats my boat.

And I apologize dear readers. I’ve been busy with projects and other happenings that the blog has taken third fiddle. I am improving on that, but alas, every time I improve with new posts, I forgot to write more.

I love writing but sometimes you just lose the steam to move on. Too many snarky comments. Too many commenters expressing that my “rights” do not include insulting Sweden, and otherwise I can “GTFO.”

Too much to write about, even.

But on the upside, I receive so many wonderful comments and emails from you’all and don’t really respond. I’m bad, very bad. But I’m putting myself back on the bandwagon to get better.

Anyway, moving forward to more exciting stuff and less flaking out!

Princess Madeleine Gets Married {Swedish Royal Wedding}

Princess Madeleine got married yesterday to Mr. New York man Christopher O’Neill. He’s refused Swedish citizenship and the title of HRH so it will be interesting to see what will happen with the couple.

In the meantime, I loved Princess Madeleine’s wedding gown designed by Valentino. It is made with lace and has a four feet train. I know a lot of people have been making fun of her gown but I love it. ‘

LOVE LOVE LOVE!

Swedish Princess Madeleine Wedding dress by Valentino

Her wedding was not full of pomp and circumstance like her sister’s Princess Victoria’s wedding, which had a LOVE Stockholm week dedicated, but it was fun nevertheless.

Anyway, here we are to photos!
Princess Madeleine Swedish royal wedding

rincess-Madeleine-of-Sweden-wedding-kiss

Swedish Royal Wedding Dinner

Princesss Madeline Sweden Wedding Cortege

Hedvig+Elisabeht+Charlottas+krona+crown+TheRoyalCourt+photo+Alexis+Daflos

Princess Madeleine of Sweden Wedding Photo

Congratulations Princess Yummyboobs. We love you!

13 Hilarious & Weird Swedish Idioms

This was sent over to me from some friends reading The Local; an article about funny Swedish idioms.

I put them all together in one page with some extra idioms and our own interpretations.

Are there any other idioms to add?

Nära skjuter ingen hare – A close shot will never get you the rabbit
What it really means:
I was so close to winning!
Yea, “it was close but no cigar.”

Skägget i brevlådan – Caught with your beard in the mailbox
An English idiom to translate: “To be caught with your pants down.”

skaggen i brevladen gandalf

Det ligger en hund begraven – There’s a dog buried here
“There’s something more to it”
As in, someone is not telling the complete truth.

Att ana ugglor i mossen – Suspecting owls in the bog
This is pretty much as close as a WTF does this mean as you can get.

You can translate it as, “you can suspect that something is wrong.”

Smaken är som baken, delad – The preference is like a butt, split
Don’t translate smaken as, “taste”, like eating taste. Translate it as a “preference.”
I would translate this as, people can have different preferences, like a butt with two cheeks.

Finns det hjärterum så finns det stjärterum – If there’s room in the heart there’s room for the ass.
“Everybody can fit in here” – think of a crowded room.

Gå som katten kring het gröt – To walk like a cat around hot porridge
The Swede has never heard it, so we have no idea what this is talking about.

Göra en höna av en fjäder – To make a hen out of a feather
The English idiom we all know: “To make a mountain out of a molehill.”

Köp inte grisen i säcken – Don’t buy the pig while it’s still in the bag
In English, “to buy a pig in the poke.”
I wasn’t quite sure what this even meant, so I headed over to Wikipedia for their explanation:
The idioms pig in a poke and sell a pup (or buy a pup) refer to a confidence trick originating in the Late Middle Ages, when meat was scarce, but cats and dogs (puppies) were not. The idiom pig in a poke can also simply refer to someone buying a low-quality pig in a bag because he or she did not carefully check what was in the bag.

Ta sig vatten över huvudet – Take water over your head
“To bite off more than you can chew.”

Inte döma hunden efter håren – Don’t judge the dog by the hare hair
Another bunny phrase that means, “don’t judge a book by its cover.”

Inte för allt smör i hela Småland – Not for all the butter in Småland
Because America is the land of plenty of butter, we say, “I won’t do it for all the tea in China.”

Inte sälja skinnet förrän björnen är skjuten – Don’t sell the skin before the bear is shot
Meaning, “don’t count your chickens until they hatch.”

And that’s that, don’t throw water over your head if you can’t do it!

Le Douze Points of Eurovision 2013 Fashion Fail

It’s over. The greatest hangover of the year that lasts a week.

Eurovision.

2013.

A reprise to 2014. Thank god, I need 200 days to recouperate before Sweden’s Melodiefestivalen attacks my eyes and ears like the zombie virus of bad singing and fashion.

For now, let’s visit the worst of Eurovision fashion from last week. Please be ready to be offended.

Un Point – Israel – Poorly Fitted Mermaid Dress. Honestly, the fashion designer and seamstress(es) should be fired for this outfit. It was poorly shaped, poorly stitched, and lumpy. Just because Moran is a luscious sized woman, doesn’t mean your stitching has to suck.
Eurovision 2013 Costumes Fashion Israel Moran Mazor

Deux Points – Ukraine – It was plain, it was forgettable and it was nude. Nude colors are bad for the stage; they make you look naked!
SWEDEN-EUROVISION-CONTEST

Trois Points – Germany – Congratulations for adding 20 years to your age by wearing a disco infused bomb of sequins and stringy stuff.
SWEDEN-EUROVISION-CONTEST

Quatre Points – Belarus – Girl, you ain’t Shakira. And Belarus is not allowed to have sunshine. That would be totally anti-communistic. Want to have fun and dance on the beach? Go to Spain.
Eurovision Costumes Fashion Belarus

Cinq Points – Turkey – I always love it when a stripper goes to Hollywood and meets prince charming. Errr, I mean goes to
Eurovision and is wearing a Madonna bustier.
Eurovision Song Contest 2013 - Unser Song für Malmö

Six Points – Finland – Trash the dress session meets Courtney Love.
Eurovision Costumes Finland

Sept Points – – I don’t even know what country this is, but I don’t want to be visited by the Red-Reaper.
Eurovision Costumes 1

Huit Points – Moldova – She lit herself on fire. She lit herself on FIRE! Nevermind, that was just a plastic reflective dress for the digital projector to shine flames.
The Eurovision Song Contest 2013 - Day 1 Rehearsals, Live Semi Final 1 and Photocalls

Dix Points – Montenegro – Spacesuits. Really? Spacesuits?! No wonder they couldn’t even make it past the first semi-final, they forgot about the most important theory in science: the bad costume – shitty singing continuum. Meeting both these conditions causes one to fall into the abyss of Eurovision hell.
Eurovision 2013 Costumes Fashion Montenegro

And the douze points goes to…

ROMANIA!

Vampire meets Annie Lenox meets Cher. OMGWTF is going on?!
Eurovision Costumes Fashion Romania

Chaos in Husby & Stockholm Suburbs – Interview with Rami Al-Khamisi of Megafone

What started as a hostage situation with an elderly man armed with a machete, has ended in massive car fires and destruction of property by protesters in Husby and its neighboring suburbs.

It is uncertain whether the unnamed man shot by the police was a direct threat to them when they entered the apartment. He was shot by police after refusing to drop his weapon and was declared dead upon arrival at the hospital. However, Megafonen, a youth community group only saw a hearse and never an ambulance.

They believe the shooting was part of an increasing presence of police brutality in Sweden.

To get a better understanding of what is going on, I have translated part of the interview with spokesperson Rami Al-Khamisi at Megafone with the newspaper DN.

1. Varför startade kravallerna? // Why start the riots?
–?Det var en reaktion på dödsskjutningen i måndags. Folk uppfattar att polisen har rasistiska föreställningar som gör det enklare att inte respektera människors rättigheter. Dessvärre har vi också ett samhälle som inte tar tillräckligt avstånd från det.
– It was a reaction to the shooting that happened on Monday. The people believe that the police racist act make it easier to not respect people’s rights. Unfortunately, we also have a society that takes too much distance from this.

2. Använde polisen rasistiska glåpord som ”neger” och ”råttor”? //Did the police use racist taunts like “n—er” and “rat”?

–Ja, vi överraskades hur polisen agerade mot människor, man använde hundar och batonger mot barn och föräldrar och uttryckte sig med ord som neger, svartskallar och apor.

– Yes, we were surprised at how the police acted toward people, how they used batons and dogs against children, parents and expressed themselves using words like negro, blackies, and monkies.

3. Tycker du att det är okej att människor kastar sten och bränner bilar? // Do you think it’s okay for people to throw stones and burn cars?

– Det hjälper inte att vare sig försvara eller ta ställning till det som händer, vi kan bara förstå det. Megafonen arbetar för social upprustning och har en konstruktiv och fredlig roll. Det är inte första gången upplopp sker i Husby. Det är strukturella problem som politikerna inte har åtgärdat. Ju större klyftorna blir kommer det tyvärr finnas människor som tar ut sin frustration på det här sättet.

– It doesn’t help to defend or take a position on what happens, we can only understand it. Megafone works for social rehabilitation in a constructive and peaceful way. This is not the first time riots have occurred in Husby. There are structural problems that the politicians have not resolved. The larger the gaps become, the more people will take their frustration in this way.

4. Du är kritisk till politiker och regeringen? // You are critical of politicians and the government?

–Regeringen väljer att lösa sociala problem med ökad polisbevakning och militarisering av förorten. Så länge detta pågår kommer människor att resa sig och vilja annat. Det skapar inte förändring men många tror att enda sättet att möta makten är med våld.

– The government choses to solve social problems with increased police and military presence in the suburbs. As long as this happens, people will rise up wanting something else. It does not create change, but many believe that the only way to meet that power is with violence.

5. Varför kräver ni en oberoende utredning av döds­skjutningen? // Why do you call for an independent investigation into the fatal shooting?

–Vi kräver en oberoende utredning för att ta reda på vad som hänt. Det har gjorts tidigare, och kan göras på förslag av rikspolisstyrelsen eller justieminister Beatrice Ask. Den kan bestå av jurister, professorer eller andra experter.

– We demand an independent investigation to take account of what happened. This has been done before, and is done on the suggestion of the National Police Board or the Justice Minister, Beatrice Ask. The board is comprised of lawyers, professors, and other experts.

6. Ni kräver också en ursäkt till kvinnan vars man dödades och Husbyborna? // Do you also demand an apology to the woman whose husband was killed and Husby residents?

–Vi kräver en offentlig ursäkt till Husbyborna som känner sig otrygga och fruktar för sina liv efter polisens övervåld. Folk såg att kvinnan blev illa behandlad av polisen och var i chock för att hennes man dödats. Polisen gick också ut med felaktiga uppgifter om att personen avled på sjukhuset vilket han inte gjorde.

– We demand a public apology to Husby residents who feel insecure and fear for their lives after the police assault. People saw that the woman was poorly treated by the police and was in shock that her husband was killed. The police also went public with false information that the person died in the hospital, which he did not.

7. Men är den felaktiga uppgiften ett bevis för övervåld? //but is this

–Frågan är om det krävs en insatsstyrka så många skott mot en knivbeväpnad, psykiskt sjuk man i 70-årsåldern. Frågan är också varför han inte fick hjälp efteråt och varför man inte kallar på ambulans.

– The question is whether a task force was needed and if it needed to fire so many shots to a mentally unstable 70 year old man. The question is also why he did not get help after and why an ambulance was not called.

–End interview.

If you are live outside of Stockholm central in Husby, Jakobsberg, and other suburbs, many community groups are walking out during the evenings this week to help instill a state of peace and security for the citizens.

The Blogroll is Broken — Add Your Blog Below

Well, I decided to do a little housekeeping on the site. Besides fixing a lot of minor issues (indexing attachment pages and page# urls), I noticed my blogroll page is dead.

That is because Feevy, the site I used to aggregate all the blogroll links and sort them by latest post, is dead. Completely dead. Googled for Feevy and nothing comes up.

It means my blogroll list of 30+ blogs over the past five years are gone. Boo!

I need your help then. If you would like to have your blog included in my blogroll, please drop a comment below and I will add you to it (shameful plug – please do add mine).

Write a comment below so that I can have a new, cool list of awesome bloggers about Sweden!

Google Gets Mad with Språkrådet – No ‘ogooglebar’ For You!

Språkrådet, the Swedish Language Council, issues a list of new words every year that officially enter the Swedish language. Some of them make sense, some are just silly, but most are related to pop culture.

When I was reading the list over the weekend, my husband and I were laughing over the word ogooglebar. It means, to be “ungoogleable.” And then we thought, I wonder if Google knows about it

Yea, well, Google did send Språkrådet nasty grams to change the definition of the word and let everyone know that “google” is protected under copyright. And that copyright extends to languages. God forbid we use a copyright word in the dictionary!


Ann Cederberg, CEO of Språkrådet wrote, “Google har nämligen glömt en sak: språkutvecklingen bryr sig inte om varumärkesskydd.” Meaning, “Google has forgotten one thing: language development does not care about copyright.

It is too bad, ogooglebar is a great word. I am sure most Swedes won’t care and will probably go out of their way to use the word as often as possible just to annoy Google.

For now, stay tuned for the new Swedish words of 2012.