A 31st Anniversary Remembered

11 Oct
2011

It is a bittersweet week. Yesterday, we celebrated our first anniversary. And thirty-one years ago today, my parents got married.

I envisioned that one day, we would all celebrate our anniversaries together. Us our 5th/6th/10th and their 35th/36th/40th anniversaries. We even lined up the years and dates right!

But thirty-one years later, we will be celebrating remembering their anniversary without Mom.


My parents have a true love story. They first met when my Mom was 10-12 years old. She was friends with the upstairs neighbor to my dad since the neighbor was also Gujarati. Being six years older, dad never though anything of her then.

Fast forward to when mom was seventeen. Dad was twenty-three and the poor college student. He just finished college but was planning to moving to the US for grad school.

Somewhere during that summer they fell in love. And over the year they introduced their families (much to chagrin of both sides) of a potential love marriage.

No one was happy with their decision to get married. But they loved each other and that was all that matter.

They broke the barrier that was “arranged marriages” (still common today) and did what was best for them.

My mom wrote that her husband was “unlike anybody she had ever met… he was so full of life.” She continued and wished “her new sisters-in-laws would be sisters, and that her brother-in-law would be a best friend.”

Here’s a collection of photos we scanned over the past few months of mom. She was a babe. She always had fine clothes and perfect makeup.

Dad, I know this is the hardest day you will face in life; to not celebrate an anniversary with your true love. I miss Mom everyday, but she is always around with us. She and Bunny will celebrate in heaven with tiramisu and sangria.

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7 Responses to A 31st Anniversary Remembered

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lh

October 11th, 2011 at 19:01

Saphire,
You have an incredible family, and the pictures are beautiful. Thank you for sharing this part of your life with us. Your mom was gorgeous and you have been blessed for having such a special person in your life.

much love,
Laura

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Ravi

October 11th, 2011 at 20:22

Hey Babe:
Do you know that your paternal grandparents and great grandparents also had “Love Marriage. This makes you forth generation ” Love Marriage”.
There is no doubt that mom was a babe. Very brilliant academically.
But now everything is gone except the memories.

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janerowena

October 12th, 2011 at 09:45

She was beautiful – and always will be in your memories.

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Sapphire

October 12th, 2011 at 12:19

Thank you Laura.

Ravi – had no idea! We continue the non-tradition!

Thank you janerowena. I hope you are doing well and taking care of your mom.

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Morg

October 13th, 2011 at 07:09

I really understand where you are coming from, as last week I celebrated the 3rd anniversary of my mom’s passing. The year after her passing was the hardest in my life – she meant everything to me. But things have got easier. I still miss her almost everyday, but instead of feeling grief I try and focus on doing things that would make her proud.

Today I’m celebrating what would have been my mom’s 64th Birthday. Each year I do something special for myself to remind me to cherish her. I’m now 7 months pregnant and this year I think I am going to spend my time looking through old pics, scanning the ones I love the most and make a family tree book for my soon to be born little girl. I’m looking forward to sharing her memories with my little one.

Wishing you the best today.

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Shira

October 13th, 2011 at 11:33

spending lots of time in India and in Nepal (my husband is a nepali), I could add that Those marriage are not only uncommon but also notorious (hope i wrote it correctly..). Marriage that are not made by the family is considered to be fragil and with a short expectency. When I married my nepali husband 4 years ago, everybody told him that I am going to leave him cuz we, “foreigners” don’t have family values. Being married for 4 years already still does’nt make them more optimistic. They will always think he did a bad choise, even just because having a nepali “arranged” wife will make him free of house working and free of trying to make her happy and satisfied.
We, of couse, could’nt care less about those old and wrong perception, but still happy to hear that people did it 31 years ago and even before that!
Love marriage is the best and just think about your mother that made this choise as an indian woman and figure than, who she was and what a life she lived (a great ones!)

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Sapphire

October 21st, 2011 at 20:10

Morgan – Thanks so much for sharing your story. It’s really wonderful that you’re making an album for your baby.

@Shira – True true. Love marriages were notorious and still taboo in many parts of South Asia.

I’m really happy that you are doing well. It shouldn’t matter where the other person is from as long as both of you are both compatible and love each other. I’m sorry his family thinks your mate is not great, but sometimes you have to say, “screw the family.”

<3 to both you ladies.

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