The Love Hate Relationship With Stockholm
I’ve come to the point in life where half the time I love Stockholm and half the time I hate Stockholm. Okay, maybe there are days when I hate Stockholm more than I love. But hey, no one said I was a lover not a hater.
After nearly three years here, I’m finally making a pros and cons list of living in Stockholm. As I was naive when I first moved here that Stockholmers are Swedish (Stockholmers are Stockholmers and no one wants to touch them with a 10 foot poll); I can now tell the difference between a Stockholmer and a Swede.
Anyway, at least I think I know why I love Stockholm and why it drives me to bits.
Here it is, let the loving and bashing begin:
Pros of Living in Stockholm
- It’s the capital of Sweden AND Scandinavia. Boo-yah! We kicked your ass Oslo and Copenhagen.
- Walking to work is awesome. No longer do I have an one hour commute by car but rather an 18 minute walk to work.
- Springtime in Stockholm is beautiful. Spring time is beautiful everywhere, but still a win for Stockholm.
- I live on an island! That is so cool telling my friends that I live on an island in Sweden!!! Nevermind that 500,000 other people live on the island.
- There are 14 islands that makeup Stockholm. That’s a lot of islands.
- Being able to walk five minutes to the grocery store.
- Finding cute nooks and crannies of the city where you can buy great cheeses, Italian specialities, or shoes.
- Meeting friends anywhere in the city afterwork. I love that after owning a car for 11 years, I can walk or take the train to meet friends. And nothing’s far; Stockholm is so cute and small you can walk the city in an hour or so. Yipee!
- Hanging out on the water during the summertime. I’ve never lived near the water so being able to walk to the water and hang out a park nearby is awesome. I just wish people wouldn’t be such dipshits and dump trash into the waterways and parks.
- Watching the city empty out during the summertime. So nice to see less cars, less people, more peace.
Cons of Living in Stockholm
- Beer is expensive. Martinis are expensive. And for some unknown reason, Josefine’s on Djurgården charges 94:- for the world’s shittest glass of rosé wine (jacob’s creek).
- Drivers suck. I like drivers from Gothenburg; they don’t seem to be in a rush to run over people. Drivers in Stockholm look like they’re on crack for the Indy 500 gone Fast and the Furious.
- Rude people. I’m small. I’m smaller than Swedish kids who are 12 years old. That means, I get the honor of having doors slamming my face, elbows whacking my head, and the occasional bag hitting me from the side. You know, you could say “excuse me” and it wouldn’t kill you.
- For being the largest city in the Nordic region, there are few places that are cheap and delicious to eat at. Please, no thai or kebab.
- Stockholmers believe they’re awesome. I understand the complex. Stockholm barely makes it in the top 100 capitals in terms of population. Most people think it’s in Switzerland. And people in DC, Paris, Toyko, Delhi, don’t really care about Stockholm as a city or a capital. The best Stockholm can do then? Pick on its little sister Gothenburg.
- Stockholm fashion is poser. See above for the runt complex.
- Stureplan is not cool. Posers. We’re so impressed that five ferraris and three lambourginis are registered in Sweden. We’re even more impressed that you can park them on the sidewalk and throw champagne down the drains (vaska). We love that somehow everyone goes to New York to shop and in desperate times, to Paris and London.
- Dating your coworkers is weird. Dating your boss is weirder. I don’t know if it’s a Stockholm thing or a Swedish thing, but dating managers and having affairs at the office is not conducive to a good office environment.
- Getting shit-faced at the office party and puking on a coworker is rude. Some companies would have an intervention for alcohol problems.
- It’s miserable to find an apartment in the city and in any reasonable suburb.
I’ll stop for now and try to be a lover of Stockholm with the summer coming around.
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