You know You’ve been in Sweden Too Long…

I am coming up on my third winter in Sweden. Third winter! How the hell I survived the first two is beyond measure (the first was fine, the second was being affixed to a overloaded iced cake).

For the past month, I have been more serious and thoughtful with my posts; especially controversial. Hell, who doesn’t love controversy and bashing? If I write about Swedish men singing, no one would comment. If it was a group of naked Swedish men with flatbreads dancing on TV, I might get more comments. Oh yea, and here’s the video of The Dance of the Crispbread:
(WARNING – YOU MAY LAUGH YOUR BUTT OFF, PLUS SEE MEN’S BUTTS)

To try not to fall into November depression and psych myself out for Christmas in Sweden, I found a list of “You know you’ve been in Sweden too long.” The current list is more than 400 items! And they are funny. Bat shit funny.

I extracted 100 points and added a few of my own. Grab your stor stark because you know you have been in Sweden too long if…

  1. Pagan and religious holidays are just a cover to get trashed.
  2. The first thing you do upon entering a bank/post office/chemist etc. is to look for the queue number machine.
  3. You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.
  4. You wonder how people afford beer.
  5. You are disturbed when no one gives you a bed sheet and bedding set when you crash on their couch.
  6. When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume:
  7. a: he is drunk
    b: he is insane
    c: he’s an American

  8. You don’t think twice about putting the wet dishes away in the cupboard to dry.
  9. A friend asks about your holiday plans and you answer “Oh, I’m going to Europe!” meaning any other Western European country outside of Sweden.
  10. Wearing black leggings with floral dresses is fashionable.
  11. You buy red pants for your sambo because it is fashionable.
  12. A sambo is not the same as a samba, särbo, or mambo.
  13. You can spot a stekare, a Swedo, because of his hair gel trail across Stureplan.
  14. You see a student taking a front row seat on the bus and wonder “Who does he think he is?”
  15. Silence is fun.
  16. The reason you take the ferry to Finland is:
  17. a: duty free vodka
    b: duty free beer
    c: to party hard. .. no need to get off the boat in Helsinki, just turn around and do it again on the way back to Sweden.

  18. Your coffee consumption exceeds 6 cups a day and coffee is too weak if there is less than 10 scoops per pot.
  19. You pass a supermarket and think “Wow, it is open, I had better go in an buy something!”
  20. A sharp intake of breath has become part of your vocabulary, as has the sound “Jah hahh”
  21. Your native language has seriously deteriorated. Now you begin to “eat medicine”, “open the television”, “close the lights off”, “take a beer”, “look upon everything” and tell someone to “follow with me” or “you needn’t to!” You start to say “for 2 years ago” and expressions like “Don’t panic” creep into your everyday language.
  22. Having someone go home from work early because the dog sitter left is not weird.
  23. Your notion of street life is reduced to the few teenagers hanging out in front of the railway station on Friday nights.
  24. Your bad mood becomes your good mood.
  25. Sundays no longer seem dull with all the shops closed, and begin to feel restful instead.
  26. “No comment” becomes a conversation strategy.
  27. Wearing anything else than black clothing during the wintertime would be sacrilegious.
  28. You have only two facial expressions – smiling or blank. Also your arms are just hanging down when you chat with other people.
  29. The fact that all of the “v’s” and the “w’s” are together in the phone directory seems right.
  30. Your old habit of being “fashionably late” is no longer acceptable. You are always on time.
  31. Hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay.
  32. You begin to understand Johan Tornberg’s broadcast of the hockey game.
  33. You wear scarves all the time; even in the summer.
  34. You hear loud-talking passengers on the train. You immediately assume:
  35. a: they are drunk
    b: they are Finnish
    c: they are American
    d: all of the above

  36. You give up on trying to find fat-free food and pile on the butter, cream and sugar.
  37. You know how to fix herring in 105 different ways.
  38. You eat herring in 105 ways.
  39. Your front step is beginning to resemble a shoe shop.
  40. You start to differentiate between types of snow.
  41. You get offended if, at a dinner party, someone fails to look you in the eyes after raising their glass for a toast
  42. Seeing a young woman with lit candles stuck to her head no longer disturbs you.
  43. You become extremely skilled at assembling pre-packaged furniture kits.
  44. “Candles” are a permanent fixture on your weekly shopping list.
  45. You think being a rebel is crossing the street with a red walk man sign.
  46. You think it is normal EVERYTHING is regulated and you obey the rules voluntarily.
  47. When someone asks you for “sex” you assume they mean half-a-dozen.
  48. All winter you dream of what you will do in summer, and summer is the warmest day of the year
  49. Bringing dead sticks indoors at Easter and hanging coloured feathers on them seems a good way to celebrate spring.
  50. You start eating egg and bacon instead of bacon and eggs.
  51. You ringed somebody yesterday instead of you rang them.
  52. You look at the cracks and dog poop on the sidewalk instead of smiling at people.
  53. Your husband is very long instead of being very tall.
  54. You understand The Swedish Look.
  55. You think coffee is supposed to look and taste like mud, complete with a mouthful of coffee ground sediment.
  56. You pay the TV-avgift because you think you’re getting your money’s worth watching SVT.
  57. You start looking at socialbidrag (welfare) less as an absolutely desperate last resort and more as a way of life.
  58. When someone says “Cheers” you look at everyone in turn before drinking.
  59. You know that going for a coffee is a first date.
  60. You think there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.
  61. You pour filmjölk (soured milk) on your Kellogg’s Frosties.
  62. You put tomato sauce (as in Heinz Big Red) on your macaroni. Just tomato sauce. And love it.
  63. Planning your day around buying alcohol is perfectly normal. Because everyone wants to spends their lunch hour in the queue at the alcohol store.
  64. You start believing that good service is overrated.
  65. You don’t even get surprised when the doctor, not only can’t help you, he/she can’t even diagnose you.
  66. You take it as a given that your wife/husband will get so wasted on Midsommar that he/she will end up in bed with someone other than yourself.
  67. You tailgate people who are driving 120 on the freeway.
  68. You hide 5 or 6 bottles of spirits in your suitcase, one or two in your backpack, and put just one in the duty free shopping bag.
  69. You think there is nothing wrong with planning Christmas around Kalle Anka (Donald Duck).
  70. You don’t even think about what you are saying when you are off to the shop to buy your favourite brand of cat food, and you say, “Be right back love, I’m just gonna go get some Pussi”
  71. You start to miss falukorv when you go on vacation
  72. You would never ever even consider using a metal knife on the butter.
  73. While visiting England someone gives you directions and says, “It’s about 5 miles down the road.” You in turn ask, “Are you talking Swedish miles or English miles?”
  74. You only leave the country to stockpile cheap alcohol.
  75. Drinking is the fundamental pillar of your social network, be it coffee or alcohol.
  76. You aimlessly chat using SMS.
  77. A “big strong one” is a beer.
  78. You find that you can’t spell in English anymore. You now replace C with K. Like panik, automatik, seasik, arithmetik…. and you try to remember does papper/paper have one or two p’s in English?
  79. You still wonder how people afford beer on the weekends. And weekdays too.
  80. You think that the 25kr ICA bonus cheque is generous after spending 2500kr in their shop.
  81. It seems normal to you that you’ve been bleeding in the emergency room at the hospital for four and a half hours when the three doctors walk by on their third coffee break since you got there.
  82. You know every Swedish brand and random fact.
  83. When someone cuts you off on the freeway and instead of giving them the finger, you simply mumble “eedeeyout” under your breath.
  84. You even lock your car to take a pee on the side of the road.
  85. You no longer think it odd that you talk to your kids in English and they answer in Swedish.
  86. You find it completely natural that otherwise sensible people dress up in silly hats on several occasions in August in order to eat crayfish and drink as much schnaps as possible.
  87. You eat open faced sandwiches.
  88. Christmas has changed so much that you only associate it with rice porridge, lucia cats, and Donald Duck.
  89. You don’t think twice about calling someone in the next room using your mobile phone.
  90. People buy you a drink in November because they remember when you bought them one in March.
  91. Opening your Christmas presents on the 24th of December no longer seems like cheating.
  92. You eagerly await Eurovision and Melodiefestivaln during the wintertime.
  93. You can use bra, fart, and slut in the same sentence without giggling.
  94. You don’t understand why your friend from Mississipi took offence when you referred to him as a yankee.
  95. If you meet someone you haven’t seen in ages you just stay right where you are chatting away even if that happens to be in the doorway of a very busy department store.
  96. You stop thinking you’re being yelled at every time you hear “Hey!”
  97. You either run for the last pendeltåg at 1 am or choose to party on until 5 am when they start again rather than endure the horrific night bus home, as a taxi ride would require taking out a 2nd mortgage.
  98. ICA is not I.C.A – it’s eeka.
  99. Gift is not a present but it could be dangerous (whether it is poison or marriage)
  100. You know that “fan” is a swearword, and not an admirer or an air conditioner.
  101. You eat pizza with a knife and fork.
  102. The only thing in your quick memory is “Hej” and “Hej Hej” in swedish
  103. You think Sweden is big (because you always compare it to Finland, Norway or Iceland)
  104. You think is perfectly normal that people get in to nightclubs/restaurants with innerbandy stick and shopping bags.
  105. You think is perfectly normal that nobody talks on the bus, train or tunnelbana.
  106. You accept that people talk to you only when they are really drunk.
  107. Food delivery, like Spisa hemma, is cool because you don’t have to go to EEKA in 3 meters of snow.
  108. You’ve won the lottery when you dive bomb into SystemBolaget 23 seconds after it officially closed.
  109. You accept that the best answer for a question is always “Jag vet inte” meaning “I don’t know”.
  110. You know the Swedish “Jo” sounds is like a “yo-yo” and when you pronounce Johan, it looks pretty funny – Yo-Juan!
  111. You are laughing because you know this is all painfully true.
  112. You buy an ( S ) sticker for your Volvo even if you are living outside the borders of Sweden.
  113. Reading this makes you wonder why the hell you moved to Sweden in the first place.

35 thoughts on “You know You’ve been in Sweden Too Long…”

  1. Hahaha, awesome list. I must say, I now follow a lot more of those:

    – Queuing numbers (I HATE IT, and still budge whenever possible)
    – Eating pizza/burgers with a knife/fork (Only because the burgers are so big and the pizza is so thin)
    – Buying/smuggling in spirits because it’s 1/3rd the cost (Boo too Systembolaget)
    – Strong coffee. I like it when my cup dissolves before I’m done drinking it.
    – I refuse to take those sharp breaths while talking to show you agree. It *air suck* drives *air suck* me *air suck* crazy *air suck* when *air suck* I *air suck* hear *air suck* them *air suck* while *air suck* talking *air suck* about *air suck* something *air suck*. AHHHHH

    I’m trying my best to resist Swedish assimilation, but unfortunately, as the borg say, “Resistance is futile” and it’s a matter of time I’m fully integrated into Swedish society.

  2. I’d nod my head, reading most of them. The ones I see enormously, however, are:
    18.”Take a beer”.
    20. Teenyboppers hanging around subway stations on the weekends.
    23.
    25. I could totally relate myself to this one!
    28. feels very right :)
    31. funny. Yet, I think you could add Italian, Spanish and French to it.
    37. This is also a Germanic and French cultural thing. In case you fail you would have 7 years of miserable sex :)
    42.Living this way is very relaxing.
    43.Haven’t come across this one, YET.
    54. Didn’t know this one!
    61.You’ve got to be kidding me O_o
    74. Very true.
    88. Generally it’s not offensive, is it? Maybe it has something to do with them being from Mississippi! Jag vet inte.
    90. Yep
    95. Oh yeah!
    99.Totally

  3. Notice how the commute to work is like being surrounded by zombies?! No one DARES to smile or be happy out of the flock…. That would just bring attention.

    This morning, everyone looked like their dog was just run over, and here I am, all happy with a giant smile on my face? Why? Why not! :D Plus, it’s fun to scare Swedes being happy, smiling and making eye contact! MUHAHAHA. :)

  4. So true, so true…..unbelievably funny reading. Loved your list and I experienced it once myself in the mid 80’s. How true it all is even today!

  5. Andrew, I agree completely :) Though I’m so tired in the mornings it would take all my energy to feel happy :P

    Love looking in the eyes, I often scan busses for no reason normally just to see the expressions.

    Yeah, i’m very daring for sure ;P

  6. Thanks for the very amusing list! The first time my Swede ate Heinz and noodles for a meal, I was rather horrified. Now, that I have found out that this is normal I will try to be less judgemental.;) And honestly compared to a lot of nutritionally vapid fast food meals/snacks in the U.S., noodles and ketchup I guess isn’t that bad.

  7. @lola – It’s gross. Seeing a perfectly good bowl of pasta get turned into a bleh ketchup meal is wrong on so many levels. I understand that it’s sweet and has sugars (cause all Swede’s love sweets) but there are some things that tomato sauce with proper spices just don’t need. But then who knows, their lunch may just be really bland.

  8. As someone who has never been to Sweden (but one day hopes to) this list will be my check list, and I look forward to seeing how many of these I can actually witness with my own eyes. As an American I’m sure I will be guilty of the smiling and loud talking. I also already accept #103 as fact.

  9. “18 A sharp intake of breath has become part of your vocabulary,”

    Only if you’re a “Norrlänning” – from the northern parts of Sweden. If you’re from the south (everything south of Gävle) you just think that sounds weird.

    And it means that you agree.

  10. HAHAHA Sapphire!!

    Hiya Andrew and Lovedoctor!

    @Ana….#103!!!!!! :O I gotcha! ;) xoxoxo (There should also be a #110..when a computer needs a viking’s funeral haha!)

    Okay, #6, and #32 would be me!

    Great, compiled list I must say! :D
    Also, that video is hilarious! You will never see something like that in the states.

  11. … you enjoy confusing the locals by holding the door open for them, or by letting them go first.

    BTW, I love the fact that Taylors and Jones butcher does NOT have kölappar :)

  12. @Ellen – While what you say is true from a Swedish perspective, it is also not correct from a foreign perspective (apparently). It used to confuse me as well – how foreigners could consider the sharp intake as a “Swedish” thing when only Swedes from the true north do it. The sound that she describe (“Jah hahh”) is a southern characteristic though. The southern Sharp Intake is simply saying yes while breathing in. The northern kind does not use of the vocal cords at all. The “Sscho” sound is created solely through very forcefully sucking air between the lips. Much sharper, much more sudden…

    Incidentally, the Northlanders (Norrlänningarna) in Västerbotten and Norrbotten also have a secret word for the spherical glass decorations that you put in the Christmas three: Pumla, -or.
    Please don’t tell EVERYONE, because it would sure be a shame Southerners started using this much more charming word instead of the boring “jul kula, -or”.

    Astarkvedja (Ástarkveðja)@ Saphire – I will admit that I “blank faced” a few of those, but then I realised that you’re a yankee living in Stockholm so you simply confused Stockholm Behavior with how people in the rest of the country behave :)

    I can see that it was tongue in cheek though…quite a few were fairly spot on, even though I can’t figure out where you got the “open the television” from. Do they really say “öppna tv’n” in Stockholm?! I do remember the TV that we had in my classroom in 1st-3rd grade where you had to open lids in front of the screen but I can’t remember ever hearing anyone using any other words than “sätta på” (turn on) the TV. Then again, I guess you can find humour in that combination of words to.

    Also, I just want to say that I appreciated your post about Sverigedemokraterna. I don’t agree with everything you say – far from it. I didn’t even agree with everything you said in that post – but I did appreciate the inclusive way you spoke about Sweden in that post and others related to it (e.g. on hairyswede’s page). I mean the way you put yourself on the inside (of the Swedish society) when commenting instead of condemning from the outside. I DO want to be “we” with immigrants and “people of immigrant backround”. And I’m sick and tired of Swedish Politicians and newspaper editorials putting ethnic Swedes and Swedish culture and traditions down to show that nothing Swedish is worthwhile. I resent it intensely.

    Lastly, you won’t find Astarkvedja in any Swedish dictionary since it’s been out of use for a VERY long time. Feel free to help me bring it back :) Google translate will be able to translate Ástarkveðja from Icelandic to English though. But not correctly. A hint would be that while Ástarkveðja is translated as “love you” (hey, I like you but not like that…), you’ll find that when you split the compund, google translate will all of a sudden decide that “kveðja” means “good bye”, “Varm greatings” is the best translation into English I can think of myself. “Hjärtliga (or kära) hälsningar” in more modern Swedish. Astarkvedja sounds so my better in my mouth though. I vote for bringing this word back
    into modern Swedish.

    /Jacob

  13. Oh….

    The youtube clip with Dance of the Crispbread: The best part is 1:12-1:13. Those girls REALLY like what they’re seeing, especially the one on the right! It leaves no hint of blankness on my face.

    Also, I forgot…”Lussekatt” is not properly translated into “Lucia cat”. It’s quite reasonable to think that; Most Swedes probably think that as well. “Lusse” referes to Lucifer, i.e. the Devil. The bright yellow of the lussekatt scares the Devil something fierce, making him stay far away from anyplace serving them. That’s the plan anyway.

  14. *damn*

    Again….also….I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you. Or rather, since I’m Swedish, I hold my thumbs instead :)

    (I read thelocal.se and saw your thread there. And you don’t have to let this post through if you want to keep that subject off this blog. I just wanted to wish you good luck)

  15. Didt read it all but the number one reason swedish people take a ferry to finnish waters is because they are floating brothels were you dont have to pay for the girls. Guys go on those ferrys to get laid and girls go to those ferrys to get laid. Nothing more, nothing less.

    Same reason why people take the ferry to Tallin etc, to get laid, and the booze is cheaper.

    Pro tip to any tourist going to sweden and wants to get laid with a swedish girl, take the ferry to finland=P

    PS: Whatever happens on the ferry, stays on the ferry=P

  16. Now I read the whole thing and most of it made me chuckle. I guess some of the stuff is true, for example. “Silence is fun” well silence is not exactly fun, but you please keep your mouth shut unless you are among friends and talking hehe.

    Gave some answers that are half joke and half serious, they are in no particular order since Im sorta drunk anyways!. Hope you enjoy my northern wisdom folks!!!

    “You start to differentiate between types of snow.”

    Well this is a given, there is snow and there is is snow. And some snow is shitloads worse than nice dry cold powdered snow for example! and dont get me started on rain mixed snow! =P

    “When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume:”

    My favorite, I would assume that if its a he, he is proably drunk or just insane. If its a she I would flatter myself by thinking that she thinks Im cute. But I wouldt try to pick her up because she would probably think Im some sort of retard or insane sex addictive
    criminal =P.

    “Wearing anything else than black clothing during the wintertime would be sacrilegious”

    Black suits our winters, besides black clothing is just simply sexy!

    “You have only two facial expressions – smiling or blank. Also your arms are just hanging down when you chat with other people.”

    This actually fits me pretty good, except some brittish friends of mine said that I either smirk, laugh or look blank =P.

    “Hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay.”

    Dunno how you came to this conclusion, for me atleast hugging and cuddling and kissing is awesome enough without sex to warrant a whole night of only that=D.

    “You pour filmjölk (soured milk) on your Kellogg’s Frosties.”

    Once you go sour you never go back!!

    “Planning your day around buying alcohol is perfectly normal. Because everyone wants to spends their lunch hour in the queue at the alcohol store”

    We have our lunch usually and then plan our next break on getting our precious alcohol, I mean what is life without a few vices, right?. Besides we only have one (as in only ONE, I mean WTF!?) store that is alowed by law to sell strong alcohol.

    “You think there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.”

    Couldt hace have said it better myself!, and I usually work outside during winter^^

    “You take it as a given that your wife/husband will get so wasted on Midsommar that he/she will end up in bed with someone other than yourself.”

    Not just on on Midsommar, its on vacation, company parties, a night out with friends, whatever it might be that will include alcohol which will be pretty much anything that means a day off work over here. It is because it is mostly true wether it be a woman or a man. In fact if your girlfriend or boyfriend is going to a nightclub with his friends, its pretty much guaranteed that he or she will end up in bed with another Hell half the girls you end up with here that you pick up on a nightclub has a boyfriend already.And the guys are exactly the same.

    To think that girls would be anything less that a man would be when it comes to sleeping around in sweden is just ignorance.

    “Drinking is the fundamental pillar of your social network, be it coffee or alcohol.”

    Not true, we drink because we like it but most of us can be pretty social without being drunk during the right circumstances. We just dont like it when a stranger tries to be friendly without a tangible reason or being drunk^^

    “You find it completely natural that otherwise sensible people dress up in silly hats on several occasions in August in order to eat crayfish and drink as much schnaps as possible.”

    Perfectly normal and anything less would be utterly insane!!

    “People buy you a drink in November because they remember when you bought them one in March.”

    We take drinking seriously, someone buys you a drink, you better buy them back. That is bar run etiquette. Time gone between it has not factor in the matter!.

    “ICA is not I.C.A – it’s eeka.”

    Pft this should be common sense! =P

    “A “big strong one” is a beer.”

    Also common sense since anyone with half a clue should know that schnapps or “ett järn” means spirits!.=P

    “You’ve won the lottery when you dive bomb into SystemBolaget 23 seconds after it officially closed.”

    Hell yeah! no lines in the only company that is alowed to sell strong spirits! and on a friday! hell the only thing that would be better is if they would lower the damn price!. =P

    “You eat pizza with a knife and fork.”

    We are not animals you know! ^^

    “While visiting England someone gives you directions and says, “It’s about 5 miles down the road.” You in turn ask, “Are you talking Swedish miles or English miles?””

    Well we all know that the brittish dunno how to walk a mile so we must make sure how far we need to go for the next beer=P.

    “You hide 5 or 6 bottles of spirits in your suitcase, one or two in your backpack, and put just one in the duty free shopping bag.”

    You can never be too carefull!

  17. @ Bjorn: am I correct in assuming that foreign women are ‘allowed’smiling at Swedish people in the street without them assuming she is drunk, insane or American? :-P

    And does monogamy not exist in Sweden?

    In The Netherlands some people eat their sandwiches with a knife and fork! And as for the different kinds of snow; the Dutch do not even have a name for half the stuff that falls out of the sky ;-) Been living here for 17 years now and am still facinated by snow :-D

  18. I am also confused as to how the Swedish can say that Finnish people are loud when everything I have read on internet says that they are very quiet people (until you get to know them) and appreciate you being silent. They would rather you said nothing than just talk for the sake of talking. Can anyone elaborate on this?

  19. I’m American..yep..I’m loud! LOL I admit it.

    Hope everybody has a fabulous weekend!! xoxo

  20. @Björn’s statement “Once you go sour you never go back!!” I love filmjölk. The best type of fil is still Icelandic Skyr…mmmmmmm
    And welcome back! We missed you.

    I am still a victim of #28 – needing to be on time. I blame it on the IST (indian standard time) problems.

    @Jakob – I am going to ask my Icelandic friends about Ástarkveðja

    Yes, and ketchup is NOT permitted if you made a wonderful sauce for your meal. Ketchup is only allowed on burgers, sandwiches, and fries, and in desperate measure when real tomatoes don’t exist, pasta.

    Ketchup on my food just gives me the creeps, ewwwwww!

    @Jessica – The Finns I have seen here are way louder than the Swedes. Even on the train I have heard really loud old finnish women discussing whatever it was. Maybe the finnish are obnoxious in sweden because: they want to annoy the swedes, they’re drunk, they find it amusing to annoy the swedes, we think the swedes are really quiet, or they love making noise.

  21. @Jessica – I was going out with an American woman a few years ago. After a while she asked me if I wanted the relationship to be exclusive. I was confused and didn’t understand what she meant. I assumed that it surely couldn’t mean what it SOUNDED like so I asked her to explain. Once she did explain, I was taken aback to say the least. The very idea of relationships being anything but “exclusive” is pretty shocking to me. I can’t actually imagine any of my friends being any less shocked by such a question. The relationship ended when I eventually found out that her relationship with me was less than exclusive. I have never heard any of my friends express anything but disgust at cheating. One of my best friends broke off contact with a friend he’d known all his life because that friend had cheated on his girlfriend.

    Marriage though…that’s another matter. I’ve never understood it myself, how some people will move in with their girlfriend and have children together – but consider marriage too big a commitment to take so soon. I mean, you can divorce a spouse if things turn out badly enough, but children is a life long commitment.

    I also can’t imagine Sapphire actually marrying a Swedish man unless she believed in his ability to stay monogamous.

    Finns are like Swedes, only more so. Add alcohol and the result is rather shocking. Except for the “metrosexual” bit. Not that I think that we’re metrosexual you understand…but to Americans we are, apparently. To Finns…their stereotype of Swedes is that we’re all gay…our stereotype is that Finns all carry and fight with knives.

    @Sapphire – I think you meant to direct that ketchup towards someone else. I use ketchup less often than the average Swede go to Church. In fact, I’d say that counting back the last five years, I’ve probably gone to Church at least five, if not ten times for every time I’ve had ketchup. I don’t go to Church that often. I also haven’t bought any ketchup in many a year.

  22. Thanks Sapphire, I suppose that the reason you give could explain why the Swedes find the Finns to be noisy. Although I am not Swedish, I must admit to being guilty of that ketchup thing, much to the disgust of my family :-D I make a good tomato sauce for my pasta, but I find that a dash of ketchup just finishes it off! My apologies ;-)

    Jacob, I am still not clear on the monogamy issue. While I agree whole heartedly with what you wrote, how can Bjorn write something so different – that you can expect a girl you pick up in a bar to be either someone else’s wife or girlfriend and that her boyfriend or husband will be cheating on her? In so far as that is possible to be called cheating. The only reason I can understand for someone cheating (or wanting to cheat while being in a relationship) is that they are unhappy with their relationship, but surely you first break off aforementioned relationship.. I am confused.

    As I am looking for a uni in either Finland or Sweden for my stay abroad I have been reading about both countries and the general outcome on what I have read on both countries is that the people are loyal, once you have got to know them. So this rather shocked me to read that this loyalty didn’t extend to their relationships. At least in the case of the Swedes, I haven’t been fortunate enough to find a blog like this about Finnish people ;-) Do you have an explanation for the differences of opinions on the relationship issue? Or Sapphire?

  23. @ Jessica

    Sure you can smile as much as you want, but it would be better to smile AND to start a conversation with the guy and let him know you are not from sweden. For some reason we have no problem at all talking to people that are not born here.

    And yeah monogamy exists here, but if you meet a guy and is going to a trip to greece for 2 weeks or so with his mates. Well chances are small that he didt sleep with some other girl during that trip. Really depends on the person ofcourse but swedish people really lose control when going on vacation.

    The finns are alright in my book. At first I was wary of them because over here people tell you to be careful of them when going on the ferry for example because they will stab you with a knife. I remember when going to the ferry for the first time when I was 14-15 and my friends told me to be careful to not get stabbed by some finnish guys. I mean with all that crap people were talking one almost would think that finnish people love nothing more than stabbing swedish people on the ferry.

    Well Ive never been stabbed by any finnish people yet so I guess they are not as stab happy as we are lead to beleive=). As for being loud, I wouldt know, havent really noticed them being louder than swedish people to be honest. But then again, maybe if you toss a bunch of knives in to a finnish crowd they might pick them up and start screaming their lounges out for people to stab! lol jk ^^

    @ Sapphire

    OMG you traitor! how can icelandic fil be better than swedish fil!!??

    And thanks for the welcome back=)

    @DeepSoul

    Aww *blush* kram!

  24. I thought the air sucking thing was strictly a Norrbotten trait? I never noticed anyone doing it when I lived in Skåne or visited Stockholm. But they do it all the time up here in Luleå. Damn swedes stealing all my oxygen D:

  25. It’s my 3rd yr in Sweden ‘n just have same feeling as in this text!
    simply googled “I hate Sweden” and found:

    “Reading this makes you wonder why the hell you moved to Sweden in the first place.”

  26. Oh god this made me laugh.

    My boyfriend and his ‘take a beer’, ‘eat your medicine’ :)
    I am from England and my English is awful now! I am back in England for a bit and my friends have noticed my ‘Swedish’ English ha ha.

    Wouldn’t change anything though- I love my boyfriend and I guess we make a very striking couple hehe :)

  27. “You don’t even get surprised when the doctor, not only can’t help you, he/she can’t even diagnose you.”
    “It seems normal to you that you’ve been bleeding in the emergency room at the hospital for four and a half hours when the three doctors walk by on their third coffee break since you got there.”

    Wow Sweden is just like Canada! My friend had a broken limb – he went to the local hospital – where they could not help him – they told him he needed to go to a bigger center – 2 hours later arrived at bigger center (had a friend drive him) – waited in waiting room for over 12 hours in a CHAIR without sleeping room or room to lay down – they needed to re-break his limb to cast it by the time they finally seen him – AND they forgot to offer him pain killers/morphine prior to re-breaking his limb.

    You know I had it in my mind that Sweden was better than Canada with regards to health care – but from what you say their health care sounds somewhat comparable although still not as bad.

  28. hahahaha omg… it was like looking into a mirror lol
    no.. now i need to close the light of and go and sleep…

  29. pretty true… most of them are the same as in the list “you know you ahv ebeen in finland too long…”

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