Congrats if you made this far and managed to get a job, move to Sweden, find an apartment, drink a lot, and get some books in the hopes of educating yourself. Now is the time master the Swedish language.
First, if you’re still working on the earlier steps, here is the list from the Living in Sweden Series:
Get a Job in Sweden– Welcome to Sweden! This is where it starts.
Going for a Swedish Interview– Do read up on polishing your CV and holding an interview.
Finding an Apartment in Sweden– Oh yes, it is a pain in the arse to find a place to live.
English Bookstores in Sweden – finding cheap books is not always easy
If you have learned another language, then learning Swedish will not be difficult. It will be hard to speak Swedish because most people naturally switch over to English when they hear someone speaking English or hear that accent. Don’t fret though, listed below are some free online resources to help you learn Swedish.
Online Swedish language resources to check out:
Swedish word of the day – Go figure, it’s supposed to be my Swedish word of the day site but has failed thus far. Still there are some good phrases there.
Swedish in 1001 difficult lessons – A famous blog from Francis Strand. Definitely worth checking out.
Swedish phrases – Basic lessons on Swedish. This is a good place to get started in more formal learning environment.
Lexin Dictionary – A handy online Swedish dictionary
To get formal academic classes in Sweden is easier said than done. The free Swedish courses offered to all immigrants (Svenska för invandrare) is a failed system. The Swedish government even failed the institution saying that most people teaching Swedish at SFI are not even qualified to teach. Now, I have not taken anything from SFI but few people have positive reviews.
The second option is Folkuniversitet, classes you pay for. The quality is higher but it is not cheap.
Third option is to take private lessons. Expensive. Really expensive. I took some provided by my company, they were terrible; just disorganized and making us read texts from the 19th century.
I like to learn languages the academic way. You know, say a phrase fifty times, learn a few new verbs, nouns, and adjectives a day. Write out tons of sentences over and over. Drill down technique. The only way to learn Swedish in this style is to take university lessons, which sadly I haven’t figured out to enroll in, not being a student.
If you want to get started on your own with that get the Form i Fokus Book from any bookstore. Puntino (an Italian blogger in Sweden) also recommends Colloquial Swedish book (ISBN: .
Now for lots of funny Swedish language videos:
This lesson is the funniest of all. It’s about särskrivning, the swedish language art of taking one word that is a combination of two or more words and still writing it out as several words. This is where people get tongue tied in Swedish, by pronouncing long words too slowly, thus separating the word, and turning the phrase into a complete faux pas. (like my French bit to confuse you?)
Here’s the list to the video for Mastering Swedish that the guys used. Notice the difference.
Wrong: Kassa medarbetare – Bad co-workers
Right: Kassamedarbetare – Tellers
Här börjar kassa kön – The bad queue starts here
Här börjar kassakön – The head of the queue starts here
Vi behöver ett bygg till stånd -We need a build to boner
Vi behöver ett byggtillstånd – We need a building permit
Matt tvätt – Tired laundry
Mattvätt – Carpet cleaning or carpet cleaner
Brun hårig sjuk sköterska – Brown hairy sick nurse
Brunhårig sjuksköterska – Brown-haired nurse
Surfa inte på sex siter -Don’t surf on six sites
Surfa inte på sexsiter – Don’t surf porn-sites
Sätt på en skygg lapp – Fuck a shy laplander
Sätt på en skygglapp – Put a blinker on
Får jag köpa en gift orm? – May I buy a married snake?
Får jag köpa en giftorm? – May I buy a poisonous snake?
Han dog av en kul blixt – He died of a fun lightning bolt
Han dog av en kulblixt – He died of a ball of lightning
Vi har öppet mellan dagarna – We’re open between days
Vi har öppet mellandagarna – We’re open between Christmas and New Year
Vi söker bar personal – We’re looking for naked personnel
Vi söker barpersonal – We’re looking for bar personnel
Växel i retur skål – Change in return cheers
Växel i returskål – Change in shrapnel plate
Säljes: Rak apparat – For sale: Straight machine
Säljes: Rakapparat – For sale: Shaving machine
Säljes: Sjö nära tomt – For sale: A lake near a lot
Säljes: Sjönära tomt – For sale: A lot near a lake
Djupfryst kyckling lever – Deep-frozen chicken is alive
Djupfryst kycklinglever – Deep-frozen chicken liver
Ren korv – Clean sausage
Renkorv – Reindeer sausage
Hand tvättas separat – Clean hand separately
Handtvättas separat – Hand cleaned separately
Skit gott – Crap tasty
Skitgott – Awfully tasty
Part of a television show from TV2. Don’t take it too seriously.
Simple Swedish: Lesson 1
Hilarious! A fun way to learn Swedish
So get started on speaking Swedish. Because at least if you learn some basic Swedish, you won’t be asking to fuck a shy Laplander.