If you are new to Sweden or need some information about Sweden, here are some online resources and communities to check out:

Information Site: Expatriates in Sweden – Xpats.nu is a great community for people to find jobs, friends, places to live, and maybe even a mate. Read their guide about living in Sweden before arriving to the end of the world.

Swedish community/ Facebooking equivalent: Community of Sweden – CoS is a place for people already living in Sweden to share their stories, photos, and even posts about Sweden. It is like Facebook but simpler to use. Once you arrive here, join the community. Some of their services don’t work well, like Photo uploading or html tags, even though they say they do.

Forum about living in Sweden: Swedish Forum – Need quick questions answered? Real life issues are discussed here. They’re all very nice people and good source for information.

This short list should get you started when looking for Swedish online communities.  Be active and share your experiences as well as ask questions to fellow members.

Okay we’re teasing the Swedes here but my French friend and I just couldn’t help but tease the strangest holiday of the year. In case you didn’t know, Midsummer occurs on Summer solstice, the longest day of the year as well as the first day of summer in the northern hemisphere.

Midsommarafton, celebrated the day before the holiday itself (just like Julafton instead of Juldagen) consists of: drinking, eating, drinking, singing about small frogs, drinking schnapps, dancing around a pole, eating, drinking öl, and wearing flower wreaths. Swedes take their summer seriously and no one’s going to burst their first day of the summer party.

Midsummer is THE holiday for celebrating the light and the sunshine and the summer and the strawberries.

Forget the food and the aquavit, here’s how to flirt with a silly drunk Swedish Boy on Midsommarafton (midsummer day) in Sweden:
1. Say hello
2. Ask for his name
3. Ask for a french kiss

After getting that kiss, well it’s up to you to what happens next. But in an extreme situation, you can refer to the German IKEA television commercial of Swedish midsummer parties.


Germany’s IKEA TV ad that was banned.

Milk and cookies boys was a term coined up back in high school by my friend Miss Jade.  A milk and cookie guy is someone essentially who loves his mom, helps out in the housework, has female friends that are just friends, cleans up after himself, enjoys chatting and shopping with chicks, and respects women.

In some ways Swedish boys seem to fit the description to a tee.  After all these years of searching for the elusive, yet tasty, milk and cookies guys, there is an abundance of them in Sweden.  Had I been looking in all the wrong places all these years or the concept of the nice guy, blasted too harshly by American media, was an endangered species? Are American men overrun by social stigmas of nice guys finishing last?   Or do Swedes do what they see right and in return, many follow the “nice guy” routine (though not finishing last)?

With that said, most girls want a milk and cookies guy in the long run but just can’t date them in the short run. It is the bad boy attitude women love. Girls do not love the nice boy next door, because he’s just too tame and boring. Or he’s just too nice. Bad boys treat girls like crap and yet, we will do whatever for them.  Bad boys are the devilish chocolate cakes:  loaded with creme, chocolate curls on the frosting, cherries, calories, and the guilty aftermath feeling.

What we like about the triple layered chocolate cake boys:

  • confidence and a high self esteem (like whipped cream)
  • know how to compliment (cherries on the top)
  • love to party and know how to have fun (three layers of chocolate cake)
  • have balls (creme between the cake layers)
  • can play the game (frosting on the cake)
  • act gentlemanly at bars and at dinner (chocolate curls on the frosting)

The problem with the milk and cookies boys:

  • shy (sugar)
  • lack confidence to ask a girl out (flour)
  • cannot flirt well (vanilla)
  • too sweet and nauseating at times (eggs)
  • easily run over by a woman (baking powder)
  • boring (vanilla)

I met the definition of a nice guy in Sweden sometime back. He was just so nice that I was honestly bored out of my mind. Bored! He would make a lovely husband, but his personality was too nice, like a unicorn, I felt doing any serious craziness would kill him. Like in Harry Potter, killing a unicorn is the most vile act possible. Like this guy, a super duper nice Swedish guy, I would have killed him out of boredom. And yet he would be a highly eligible bachelor: nice, smart, educated, on the right path. All the right things.

But I digress, the point is, he was THE milk and cookies guy and I totally didn’t care for him.

If the nice boys just got some balls and style, we would have chocolate chip oatmeal cookies instead of butter cookies.  They are tasty and sweet and don’t pack the guilt like devil’s chocolate cake.  Þorbjörn, the boyfriend/sambo, fits in the M&C category but more as a chocolate chip oatmeal cookie.  He has some flair and a strong personality but his head is screwed on straight and he’s definitely a homeboy cuddler.

piggelin ice cream

piggelin ice cream

Oh yes, and a Piggelin is an ice cream stick with a pearish flavor – it’s totally strange Swedish artificialness.

Note: I had to rewrite this post three times since WordPress used an autosave of the wrong version. Yep, WP can be really stupid.

While on the way to a tweetmeetup at the Scandic Anglais Hotel, LBO and I stopped by to Vapiano for dinner. When we arrived at the hotel for the meetup, it was packed up people, for a media event. Like buffons we wandered around for 20min and never found the group, and of course had no contact numbers. Why would we do that!

Instead, we bought a glass of wine and headed over to an empty. At that point, a disheveled, yet handsome, blond haired swede ask LBO something. I couldn’t hear and she didn’t quite understand the Swedish. We sat down anyway and then heard our American accents.
“You’re from America?! Where are you from ??”

And that’s how the night started with a bunch of folks from Dagens Media, one of the biggest Swedish media groups.
We ended up making a round table of LBO, Linus (Swedish guy named after the lovable Peanuts character), Nat (Swedish girl studying media), and myself.

Being the reporter he is, he allowed us to ask three questions.
What is gender equality in Sweden?
Has feminism gone too far in Sweden?
Are Swedish men bending too much to Swedish feminism?

I want to stay home for as much time as possible if i have a child; i wouldn’t mind taking care of the baby for 90% of the time. but i guess the problem is, can i, as a man, be capable of taking a baby 90% of the time?

I presume that means since men cannot breastfeed, there are some things that are going to be really hard.

Women by instinct are more nurturing and that men have a tendency to be more ambitious and aggressive which helps them in business

A very interesting observation but not endorsed by everyone in the group. However, Linus always managed to turn all statements into maybe/possible and did not take a stand on either side.

“women are bright, really bright. they should get more in life.”

A very true statement, and he voted for the feminist party. But a couple of the other girls at the table, did not. I understood that it was because the feminist party is a bit too extreme in its points of view.

Are we going against evolution by making everything 50/50 equal?

Feminism is overrated and overdone

A quote from one of the girls from that night. She said that feminism in Sweden is far more ‘feminist’ and pushes equality to the brink of twisting society. It seems that Sweden struggles with equality as many other countries but in a different way? How far is too equal? Are men and women supposed to be the same on every level. On certain levels, income, education, promotion equalities makes sense. On other levels, like the “bare breast” campaign (advocating that women can be topless at the saunas and swimming houses), can take equality one step too far. The question is, how far should equality go?

Men and women are built differently so maybe men are supposed to be hunters and women are better as the nurturing, home type

There was once a cover on Time or Newsweek magazine (I can’t remember now) about women and men being physically built differently. It caused an uproar in the feminist community that “maybe” the genders are not biologically the same. How much we should be equal is up for society to debate.

I have no idea why Stockholm men wear a ton of hair gel. The average Stockholm male uses 9 containers of gel and the average cost per bottle is 230SEK. That’s a lot of gel, enough to electrify an entire heard of horse I bet.

Please men, I beg you to stop the madness. This slicked back, supergel’ed hair is just not cool. Remember the group on Facebook relating to Crocks, “you look so fucking stupid with those shoes on”? This is the same thing. In Swedish we call it “stekare” and I define it as those skinny guys with long slicked hair, Armani eyewear, and virtual ipods playing GLAMOROUS in their ears. And they bounce when they walk down the street.

Still need a visual image? Here are a few:

The Swedos are invading

The Swedos are invading


A little too much sun or bodybuilding tanner

A little too much sun or bodybuilding tanner


Now crazy swedes

Now crazy swedes

Self portrait of a Swede
Amazing self portrait of a Swede’s reflection
From Steelth via Flickr

Stureplan boys eating
Don’t they just look full of themselves
From medvinen via Flickr

Swedish men out there, take heed, take notice, please do not overdo yourself like a peacock. You might think you’re cool in Stureplan with those awesome sunglasses and the ability to buy a drink at Sturehof, but frankly it’s just stupid looking. I love well dressed men, but I hate cocky looking men.