So I guess you are a real Swede – a one who always seems to prefer the UNswedish alternative.

Sweden is one of few countries where “unswedish” is considered a good thing. (Swedish comedian Fredrik Lindström has made people aware of that, saying “In Denmark an undanish person is a fcuking idiot”.)

Real Swedes are the ones who is taking pride in being unswedish. That means that Swedes is…slippery, in some way, there’s always something ELSE that is the best.

If someone not saying anything to you when you get in to a store, there’s possible to get hurt, OR to try to think about that person’s reasons for behaving like that.

Sweden has come a longer way in basic philosophy than USA. Many people even try to figure out some reasonable reasons why some people (who is consider EVIL by others) murder. If there is some reason (except evilness) to why people murder, there’s certainly a good reason to why salespersons ignore you when you get in to a store (they’ve had a long week, or the might think you WANT it that way, etc).

I was in Shanghai. There the store staff ignore you a lot more than in Sweden. First I got surprised, then I started to like it.

After being in California for a year and a half (moved there from sweden), I really prefer the nice approach. It’s better having salespersons approach and ask than to have to go around looking for someone for 5 minutes. It’s better to have people saying Hi than to get a look like “what the f* are you doing in this store”. When you go to a restaurant or a nightclub in sweden, a lot of times people (waiters, bouncers) acts like you’re wasting their time coming there and you should be happy that they bother to take care of you at all.

If you visit Japan and get bowed to, are you just going to bow back? or get upset because you think it’s a stupid and unnecessary custom? It’s much the same. As silly and unnecessary as it may seem, Americans have a “nicety” custom.

Much of it probably came about similar to your first example: stores. Often, you find 2 or 3 stores in very close proximity. If they have the same items that you need, the same price, the same quality… which do you shop at? Most people gravitate to whichever one makes them feel the most welcome, and to many people that is the store with cashiers who say things like, “Hi, how are you today?” instead of just beginning to scan items.

I think that somewhat leaked into everyday life and many times, people just try to “be nice” to other people by holding doors, asking how they are, etc just because it is what is accepted there. It’s their way of trying to make other people feel more comfortable, but I can understand how someone not used to it would be very thrown off by it. When someone grows up with it around them at all times, it’s a completely different story though.

It definitely doesn’t happen everywhere in America though. It tends to happen more in smaller towns instead of bigger cities. I doubt you run into anyone in a larger city in America who is really going to go out of their way to try to make you feel comfortable.

But, really, who should change themselves, the ones who don’t hold doors or the ones who feel bad when someone else doesn’t hold a door?

I really don’t want people to hold doors for me, I want to be independent. If someone hold a door for me, I have to hurry so they don’t have to stand there for so long, and then I have to pretend that I am grateful.

What if I didn’t even was going to get through the door, but some other door? Then it really gets stupid and unneccessary.

I’m extreme, but I dare to say that many Swedes think like this. We want to walk by ourselves, think for ourselves and not having to open our mouths for no reason.

@Raiha- Thank you =)

@Daniel- Very interesting points you raise. How much do you think the Swedes have changed due to the ‘small talk’ phenomenon?

I was wondering if you could touch on the subject of homosexuality in Sweden. It seems as though most of the Swedish men I’ve met have had encounters with other men, yet say they are not gay. Being an American, every time we here of a guy with a guy we assume that he is gay. Just wanted to know if experimenting was normal in Sweden. Also am curious to know the females perspective, and if making out with other girls is as novel there as it is here.

Thanks,

Love the BLOG!!!!