Comments on: To find a Swede, don’t look in Sweden http://lostinstockholm.com/2008/06/23/to-find-a-swede/ Musings about Life in Socialist Sweden - Oh Yea, It's Awesome Thu, 09 Feb 2012 21:11:06 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: JustAGirl http://lostinstockholm.com/2008/06/23/to-find-a-swede/#comment-122175 JustAGirl Sat, 21 Jan 2012 18:07:52 +0000 http://leglobetrotteur.wordpress.com/?p=74#comment-122175 I met my Swede in England, and after one year we came to Sweden. He did behave so much differently abroad... Much more open, outgoing, relaxed. Here he would always call himself "my boring Swedish hubby" - actually that's what he has made of himself, so after some time, I didn't have another choice than looking at him like that and agree with him... We divorced after 5 years spent together. I met my Swede in England, and after one year we came to Sweden. He did behave so much differently abroad… Much more open, outgoing, relaxed.

Here he would always call himself “my boring Swedish hubby” – actually that’s what he has made of himself, so after some time, I didn’t have another choice than looking at him like that and agree with him…

We divorced after 5 years spent together.

]]> By: Sapphire http://lostinstockholm.com/2008/06/23/to-find-a-swede/#comment-120893 Sapphire Sun, 15 Jan 2012 00:14:02 +0000 http://leglobetrotteur.wordpress.com/?p=74#comment-120893 @Scee - *Happy dance* Wishing you and your Swede lots of love and happiness. @Scee – *Happy dance* Wishing you and your Swede lots of love and happiness.

]]> By: Scee http://lostinstockholm.com/2008/06/23/to-find-a-swede/#comment-120213 Scee Wed, 11 Jan 2012 19:49:44 +0000 http://leglobetrotteur.wordpress.com/?p=74#comment-120213 I met my Swede on match.com here in the USA. We have lots in common and I have been to Sweden as a teenager so that was a good ice-breaker. He was super reserved at first...first 5 dates and no kiss. I finally had to take charge! We have been together for almost a year, and although it is kinda long distance (1 hour drive), it's the best relationship I have ever been in. He is the most genuine person, no BS at all, very attentive, and so so sweet! The cultural dating/marriage differences (Americans like to get married...Swedes don't...Americans expect romance...Swedes are not sure what that word means) are something we are working on, but I am definitely in this for the long haul. It has been a wonderful experience getting to know him, falling in love with him, and he is my best friend for sure. Swedes rock!! (and yes, he is gorgeous!) :-) I met my Swede on match.com here in the USA. We have lots in common and I have been to Sweden as a teenager so that was a good ice-breaker. He was super reserved at first…first 5 dates and no kiss. I finally had to take charge! We have been together for almost a year, and although it is kinda long distance (1 hour drive), it’s the best relationship I have ever been in. He is the most genuine person, no BS at all, very attentive, and so so sweet! The cultural dating/marriage differences (Americans like to get married…Swedes don’t…Americans expect romance…Swedes are not sure what that word means) are something we are working on, but I am definitely in this for the long haul. It has been a wonderful experience getting to know him, falling in love with him, and he is my best friend for sure. Swedes rock!! (and yes, he is gorgeous!) :-)

]]> By: Latina girl http://lostinstockholm.com/2008/06/23/to-find-a-swede/#comment-43125 Latina girl Sat, 29 Jan 2011 22:58:00 +0000 http://leglobetrotteur.wordpress.com/?p=74#comment-43125 @Summer: Those are a lot of questions but I understand you perfectly lol. I hope I can still give some advice, as my swedish friend and I had nothing serious. Before anything else, I should say that we met in person in my country. He is the one that started sending me emails. Friendly ones. Then we kept in touch through emails, text messages, chatting and occasional phone calls. I'll tell you who initiated these communication ways: Emails was 50/50, text messages was mostly me, chatting was practically initiated by me, the occasional phone calls was practically him. The frequency of these was between 3 and 10 days. The duaration strictly depended on him and his mood. It was merely friendship and laughter with occasional serious topics. But I should say that our frindship was based on having fun. Due to the long distance friendship, we traveled to each other cities a couple of times. First him, then me. Nothing serious, just parties. There were a couple of moments were it seemed there was something else, but it was a false alarm. We are still friends but we do not have that communication we had at first. I had to realize that there wasn't anything going on and I backed out when I saw him doing the same. If I can give you advice, it would be to always be real. They love that. And that includes not changing who you are, your culture, etc. You see, I was always real and down to earth personalitywise, but I let him bring Sweden to my country, so to speak. I saw his shyness, so I took the initiative more than I should have. Now I realize that if he had wanted that from the girl, he would have stayed in Sweden. I probably should have kept my latinness alo t more and let him be the man. That would have been more appealing to him than me adapting to his swedishness lol. Use this as it may serve your purposes in attracting that Swede! @Summer:
Those are a lot of questions but I understand you perfectly lol. I hope I can still give some advice, as my swedish friend and I had nothing serious.

Before anything else, I should say that we met in person in my country. He is the one that started sending me emails. Friendly ones. Then we kept in touch through emails, text messages, chatting and occasional phone calls.

I’ll tell you who initiated these communication ways: Emails was 50/50, text messages was mostly me, chatting was practically initiated by me, the occasional phone calls was practically him.

The frequency of these was between 3 and 10 days.

The duaration strictly depended on him and his mood.

It was merely friendship and laughter with occasional serious topics. But I should say that our frindship was based on having fun.

Due to the long distance friendship, we traveled to each other cities a couple of times. First him, then me. Nothing serious, just parties.

There were a couple of moments were it seemed there was something else, but it was a false alarm. We are still friends but we do not have that communication we had at first. I had to realize that there wasn’t anything going on and I backed out when I saw him doing the same.

If I can give you advice, it would be to always be real. They love that. And that includes not changing who you are, your culture, etc. You see, I was always real and down to earth personalitywise, but I let him bring Sweden to my country, so to speak. I saw his shyness, so I took the initiative more than I should have. Now I realize that if he had wanted that from the girl, he would have stayed in Sweden. I probably should have kept my latinness alo t more and let him be the man. That would have been more appealing to him than me adapting to his swedishness lol.

Use this as it may serve your purposes in attracting that Swede!

]]> By: rebaduck http://lostinstockholm.com/2008/06/23/to-find-a-swede/#comment-43074 rebaduck Sat, 29 Jan 2011 15:56:56 +0000 http://leglobetrotteur.wordpress.com/?p=74#comment-43074 @SH Thank you! After he accepted my friend request I sent him a message. We inboxed each other for a few hours that day, he expressed interest in talking some the next day. I wrote him on Facebook chat the next day and we talked for several hours. And 3 months later we are still chatting every day, we use Skype now because Facebook chat sucks. He was really reserved at first. He never asked me questions and I was the one who kept the conversation moving. But now, he is totally different. @SH
Thank you! After he accepted my friend request I sent him a message. We inboxed each other for a few hours that day, he expressed interest in talking some the next day. I wrote him on Facebook chat the next day and we talked for several hours. And 3 months later we are still chatting every day, we use Skype now because Facebook chat sucks. He was really reserved at first. He never asked me questions and I was the one who kept the conversation moving. But now, he is totally different.

]]> By: SH http://lostinstockholm.com/2008/06/23/to-find-a-swede/#comment-43055 SH Sat, 29 Jan 2011 09:49:44 +0000 http://leglobetrotteur.wordpress.com/?p=74#comment-43055 @rebaduck That's so cool!! I think I added a couple of French guys based on their pretty looks on facebook a couple of years ago but nothing really came out of it. How did you start talking to him? did you guys just start messaging? I'm happy for you! yay:) @rebaduck
That’s so cool!! I think I added a couple of French guys based on their pretty looks on facebook a couple of years ago but nothing really came out of it.
How did you start talking to him? did you guys just start messaging?

I’m happy for you! yay:)

]]> By: rebaduck http://lostinstockholm.com/2008/06/23/to-find-a-swede/#comment-43012 rebaduck Sat, 29 Jan 2011 00:50:33 +0000 http://leglobetrotteur.wordpress.com/?p=74#comment-43012 My Swede and I "met" almost 3 months ago through Facebook. I made the first move by sending him a friend request simply based on his Swedishness and his handsome profile picture. Sending that friend request was the best thing I have ever done. I have never been happier! Once you go Swedish, you never go back. My Swedeheart is the most amazing guy I have ever known. He's perfect in so many ways. We have plans to meet in the future and I can't wait. My Swede and I “met” almost 3 months ago through Facebook. I made the first move by sending him a friend request simply based on his Swedishness and his handsome profile picture. Sending that friend request was the best thing I have ever done. I have never been happier! Once you go Swedish, you never go back. My Swedeheart is the most amazing guy I have ever known. He’s perfect in so many ways. We have plans to meet in the future and I can’t wait.

]]> By: Summer http://lostinstockholm.com/2008/06/23/to-find-a-swede/#comment-29837 Summer Wed, 27 Oct 2010 13:27:30 +0000 http://leglobetrotteur.wordpress.com/?p=74#comment-29837 Hi girls and ofcourse the occasional astrey Swedish guy, :) It's really nice to hear these success stories. I have a question, and I'm very curious on your thoughts/experiences about it: You girls who eventually got somewhat serious with your Swedes that you met abroad, how often did you keep in touch by email / Skype in the beginning? Daily, weekly, monthly? And what kind of contact did you have? * Was it personal, as in: did you share details of your lives with eachother about random silly small stuff? Were there some hints towards romance or was it strictly a friendship first? * Did he take the initiative for emailing / Skyping or did you have to initiate that more often? * How long were your conversations (as in amount of text / duration of chat / phone call)? I know it's a lot of questions, but I hope you could share your experience with me. I'm asking because I have a Swedish situation of my own going on and I need some benchmarking here. Those Swedes.. ;) Thanks so much! Summer Hi girls and ofcourse the occasional astrey Swedish guy, :)

It’s really nice to hear these success stories. I have a question, and I’m very curious on your thoughts/experiences about it:

You girls who eventually got somewhat serious with your Swedes that you met abroad, how often did you keep in touch by email / Skype in the beginning? Daily, weekly, monthly?

And what kind of contact did you have?
* Was it personal, as in: did you share details of your lives with eachother about random silly small stuff? Were there some hints towards romance or was it strictly a friendship first?
* Did he take the initiative for emailing / Skyping or did you have to initiate that more often?
* How long were your conversations (as in amount of text / duration of chat / phone call)?

I know it’s a lot of questions, but I hope you could share your experience with me. I’m asking because I have a Swedish situation of my own going on and I need some benchmarking here. Those Swedes.. ;)

Thanks so much! Summer

]]> By: JB http://lostinstockholm.com/2008/06/23/to-find-a-swede/#comment-14901 JB Thu, 01 Jul 2010 21:21:26 +0000 http://leglobetrotteur.wordpress.com/?p=74#comment-14901 Excuse the previous long post but forgot to say I suspect he's still sleeping with his wife and totally playing me. Am making a pact with myself to ignore his emails in future. God give me strength... Excuse the previous long post but forgot to say I suspect he’s still sleeping with his wife and totally playing me. Am making a pact with myself to ignore his emails in future.

God give me strength…

]]> By: JB http://lostinstockholm.com/2008/06/23/to-find-a-swede/#comment-14899 JB Thu, 01 Jul 2010 20:26:04 +0000 http://leglobetrotteur.wordpress.com/?p=74#comment-14899 I met a Swede in South America sitting alone at a street cafe. Saw him walk past and thought "good-looking AND he knows it". He had this supreme self confidence (a life of privilege) that immediately put me off. Guys who look that good have life served to them on a platter. So when he sat down and started talking to me I was initially very cold, giving him my "scram buster" vibe. Well that was unsuccessful! Half an hour later I found myself going off on a wild Amazonian adventure with a complete stranger who just so happened to be married! Big black mark. But it made me feel "safe" with him. What a croc! He moved into my hotel where the only suite available was a matrimonial at which point he looked at me and said "well that's dangerous". Needless to say, by day three with a lot of not so subtle persuasion I threw my morals to the wind and laid myself out on the platter... Turned out his wife and he were seperated yet still cohabiting. What the hell is that? He was looking for a new relationship yet didn't seem to understand that his co-dependence might impede that somewhat. We stayed together travelling for almost a month (felt like a lifetime), in which I experienced the cold reserve, followed by bouts of drinking which brought out the "god I love everything about you" crap. Meanwhile I was falling head over heels for the incredible mind this man had. Anyway, said goodbye, cried all the way back home and knew I would never hear from him again. He is not on Facebook and when all the people we met on our travels started posting photos it just felt weird with him out of the loop so I wrote to him and sent him my pics. I was very careful not to ask questions or write anything that needed replying to. Long story short, we've been emailing each other for five months now, and no, we don't exchange the details of our lives (or he doesn't) we're having this weird cyber sex relationship which just leaves me feeling frustrated and unhappy. What is the point? He lives 14,000k's away and we have no plans to be together or anything so unrealistic and stupid. I feel like he's using me for some cheap gratification yet at the same time I don't want him to stop because when we do get real he always seems to understand the crux of what I'm saying. He gets me. And the daydreaming romantic in my head wants more from him. I know I'm a fool. Still looking for love in my own country but can't get him out of my head. Or heart. Damn... I met a Swede in South America sitting alone at a street cafe. Saw him walk past and thought “good-looking AND he knows it”. He had this supreme self confidence (a life of privilege) that immediately put me off. Guys who look that good have life served to them on a platter. So when he sat down and started talking to me I was initially very cold, giving him my “scram buster” vibe. Well that was unsuccessful! Half an hour later I found myself going off on a wild Amazonian adventure with a complete stranger who just so happened to be married! Big black mark. But it made me feel “safe” with him. What a croc!

He moved into my hotel where the only suite available was a matrimonial at which point he looked at me and said “well that’s dangerous”. Needless to say, by day three with a lot of not so subtle persuasion I threw my morals to the wind and laid myself out on the platter…
Turned out his wife and he were seperated yet still cohabiting. What the hell is that? He was looking for a new relationship yet didn’t seem to understand that his co-dependence might impede that somewhat.

We stayed together travelling for almost a month (felt like a lifetime), in which I experienced the cold reserve, followed by bouts of drinking which brought out the “god I love everything about you” crap. Meanwhile I was falling head over heels for the incredible mind this man had. Anyway, said goodbye, cried all the way back home and knew I would never hear from him again. He is not on Facebook and when all the people we met on our travels started posting photos it just felt weird with him out of the loop so I wrote to him and sent him my pics. I was very careful not to ask questions or write anything that needed replying to.
Long story short, we’ve been emailing each other for five months now, and no, we don’t exchange the details of our lives (or he doesn’t) we’re having this weird cyber sex relationship which just leaves me feeling frustrated and unhappy. What is the point? He lives 14,000k’s away and we have no plans to be together or anything so unrealistic and stupid. I feel like he’s using me for some cheap gratification yet at the same time I don’t want him to stop because when we do get real he always seems to understand the crux of what I’m saying. He gets me. And the daydreaming romantic in my head wants more from him. I know I’m a fool.

Still looking for love in my own country but can’t get him out of my head. Or heart. Damn…

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