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	<title>Comments on: Rude Swedes are not an oxymoron</title>
	<atom:link href="http://lostinstockholm.com/2008/05/26/rude-swedes-are-not-an-oxymoron/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://lostinstockholm.com/2008/05/26/rude-swedes-are-not-an-oxymoron/</link>
	<description>Musings about Life in Socialist Sweden - Oh Yea, It&#039;s Awesome</description>
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		<title>By: Hemppa</title>
		<link>http://lostinstockholm.com/2008/05/26/rude-swedes-are-not-an-oxymoron/#comment-119712</link>
		<dc:creator>Hemppa</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 09 Jan 2012 05:14:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://leglobetrotteur.wordpress.com/?p=71#comment-119712</guid>
		<description>It&#039;s rude to judge a culture according the expectations of your own culture.

As others have mentioned, tipping is not part of the culture, people don&#039;t even think about tips, possibly because the waiters don&#039;t have as bad salary, for example, and they are treated like anybody else.

Small talk is not part of the culture, that&#039;s just how it is. Exceptions exists, always, but in general.

Racism is very low, there&#039;s just slight reservedness toward exotic foreigners, but not much more than towards locals. North Europe in general, very polite and take others in consideration, to my experience. It&#039;s just that the initial impression may seem cold and distant, and can be understood wrong, among locals too. We are straightforward and say things of value, rather than endlessly blabber. You can endlessly blabber though, I think most wouldn&#039;t mind that at all, but you can reach the point when people wish you would shut your mouth already.

I live in Finland, but it&#039;s similar here. 

DON&#039;T go to Stockholm or Helsinki, if you can choose. I really dislike going to Helsinki and I&#039;ve been there quite a lot. Capitals give bad impressions of the countries as whole. Besides you want in the beautiful nature, rather than the concrete jungle.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>It&#8217;s rude to judge a culture according the expectations of your own culture.</p>
<p>As others have mentioned, tipping is not part of the culture, people don&#8217;t even think about tips, possibly because the waiters don&#8217;t have as bad salary, for example, and they are treated like anybody else.</p>
<p>Small talk is not part of the culture, that&#8217;s just how it is. Exceptions exists, always, but in general.</p>
<p>Racism is very low, there&#8217;s just slight reservedness toward exotic foreigners, but not much more than towards locals. North Europe in general, very polite and take others in consideration, to my experience. It&#8217;s just that the initial impression may seem cold and distant, and can be understood wrong, among locals too. We are straightforward and say things of value, rather than endlessly blabber. You can endlessly blabber though, I think most wouldn&#8217;t mind that at all, but you can reach the point when people wish you would shut your mouth already.</p>
<p>I live in Finland, but it&#8217;s similar here. </p>
<p>DON&#8217;T go to Stockholm or Helsinki, if you can choose. I really dislike going to Helsinki and I&#8217;ve been there quite a lot. Capitals give bad impressions of the countries as whole. Besides you want in the beautiful nature, rather than the concrete jungle.</p>
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		<title>By: Annette</title>
		<link>http://lostinstockholm.com/2008/05/26/rude-swedes-are-not-an-oxymoron/#comment-65248</link>
		<dc:creator>Annette</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sat, 16 Jul 2011 12:14:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://leglobetrotteur.wordpress.com/?p=71#comment-65248</guid>
		<description>I was shoved in the street in Stockholm by randoms constantly barging past, my fashion sense laughed at by a 5 foot swedish freak wearing skinny ball-hugging jeans and a red cow boy hat (WTF did she come as?). The tourist information staff had none, not even a map, it was a nightmare. Even my 5 star hotel had mediocre service and they &#039;didn&#039;t know&#039; where the breakfast restaurant in the hotel was. The food was crap, coffee was D grade, and service so surly it made us laugh.We went to  a bunch of beautiful places but couldn&#039;t wait to get out The rest of Sweden was great though and people were normal. Not sure whats up with stockholmers but they have serious inferiority issues.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I was shoved in the street in Stockholm by randoms constantly barging past, my fashion sense laughed at by a 5 foot swedish freak wearing skinny ball-hugging jeans and a red cow boy hat (WTF did she come as?). The tourist information staff had none, not even a map, it was a nightmare. Even my 5 star hotel had mediocre service and they &#8216;didn&#8217;t know&#8217; where the breakfast restaurant in the hotel was. The food was crap, coffee was D grade, and service so surly it made us laugh.We went to  a bunch of beautiful places but couldn&#8217;t wait to get out The rest of Sweden was great though and people were normal. Not sure whats up with stockholmers but they have serious inferiority issues.</p>
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		<title>By: Anon</title>
		<link>http://lostinstockholm.com/2008/05/26/rude-swedes-are-not-an-oxymoron/#comment-39686</link>
		<dc:creator>Anon</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 04 Jan 2011 01:17:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://leglobetrotteur.wordpress.com/?p=71#comment-39686</guid>
		<description>Regarding tipping. I&#039;ve lived in Sweden all my life, and I actually see tipping to be almost a rude thing to do. I reason like the Japanese that it&#039;s charity, and by tipping you imply that the receiver needs the money, which becomes an insult. (The salary is relatively higher for a person employed at a restaurant in Sweden contra the US)

Now obviously I&#039;m not as extreme as the Japanese, if I received tip, I wouldn&#039;t complain. But I won&#039;t do it myself.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Regarding tipping. I&#8217;ve lived in Sweden all my life, and I actually see tipping to be almost a rude thing to do. I reason like the Japanese that it&#8217;s charity, and by tipping you imply that the receiver needs the money, which becomes an insult. (The salary is relatively higher for a person employed at a restaurant in Sweden contra the US)</p>
<p>Now obviously I&#8217;m not as extreme as the Japanese, if I received tip, I wouldn&#8217;t complain. But I won&#8217;t do it myself.</p>
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		<title>By: Suzanne</title>
		<link>http://lostinstockholm.com/2008/05/26/rude-swedes-are-not-an-oxymoron/#comment-24117</link>
		<dc:creator>Suzanne</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Thu, 23 Sep 2010 09:14:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://leglobetrotteur.wordpress.com/?p=71#comment-24117</guid>
		<description>I&#039;m a Swede living in NYC since six years. Everyone of these complaints are ones you see and hear New Yorkers b*tch about on a daily basis. Pregnant women are standing on subways, people are slamming doors, service people ignore you and talk to their friends. The rest of the country will say it&#039;s New Yorkers, but personally I&#039;ve been to Virginia and Florida a few of times and had plenty of depressing and scary service experiences. It&#039;s just people being people...

I do love how American general culture makes it easier to interact with people you don&#039;t know very well. And I believe that there&#039;s a sort of social insecurity in Sweden that goes deeper than in most countries. 
It certainly doesn&#039;t make most Swedes miserable or self loathing or contemptious of other humans - it just makes them socially insecure, and it&#039;s annoying and contagious. But that&#039;s all.

One thing I have mixed feelings about is the gender equality issue. I definitely feel my rights are much better protected in Sweden. I would much, much rather raise a child in Sweden than here, for instance. 
On the other hand there&#039;s much less chivalry, which would be just fine if there was true equality, but can be problematic when men still wield much more power. 
I will admit that I grit my teeth whenever Americans and other people from more macho cultures go off on Swedish men for being rude and selfish. There is definitely something to be said for learning some self-reliance regardless of your gender!

In the end, any culture only goes so deep. I&#039;ve also noticed how people who move to a new culture - any new culture - go through these periods of infatuation and backlash, and despising and idealizing the culture of their homeland. This has much more to do with selective awareness and memory and attitude than reality.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I&#8217;m a Swede living in NYC since six years. Everyone of these complaints are ones you see and hear New Yorkers b*tch about on a daily basis. Pregnant women are standing on subways, people are slamming doors, service people ignore you and talk to their friends. The rest of the country will say it&#8217;s New Yorkers, but personally I&#8217;ve been to Virginia and Florida a few of times and had plenty of depressing and scary service experiences. It&#8217;s just people being people&#8230;</p>
<p>I do love how American general culture makes it easier to interact with people you don&#8217;t know very well. And I believe that there&#8217;s a sort of social insecurity in Sweden that goes deeper than in most countries.<br />
It certainly doesn&#8217;t make most Swedes miserable or self loathing or contemptious of other humans &#8211; it just makes them socially insecure, and it&#8217;s annoying and contagious. But that&#8217;s all.</p>
<p>One thing I have mixed feelings about is the gender equality issue. I definitely feel my rights are much better protected in Sweden. I would much, much rather raise a child in Sweden than here, for instance.<br />
On the other hand there&#8217;s much less chivalry, which would be just fine if there was true equality, but can be problematic when men still wield much more power.<br />
I will admit that I grit my teeth whenever Americans and other people from more macho cultures go off on Swedish men for being rude and selfish. There is definitely something to be said for learning some self-reliance regardless of your gender!</p>
<p>In the end, any culture only goes so deep. I&#8217;ve also noticed how people who move to a new culture &#8211; any new culture &#8211; go through these periods of infatuation and backlash, and despising and idealizing the culture of their homeland. This has much more to do with selective awareness and memory and attitude than reality.</p>
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		<title>By: N</title>
		<link>http://lostinstockholm.com/2008/05/26/rude-swedes-are-not-an-oxymoron/#comment-22755</link>
		<dc:creator>N</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 15 Sep 2010 11:56:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://leglobetrotteur.wordpress.com/?p=71#comment-22755</guid>
		<description>I&#039;m a Swede living in China.
I have a lot (almost only) friends/aquintances from America/England/Australia/Canada/etc.

They say EXACTLY the same things about Chinese people.

Why do you think that is?</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I&#8217;m a Swede living in China.<br />
I have a lot (almost only) friends/aquintances from America/England/Australia/Canada/etc.</p>
<p>They say EXACTLY the same things about Chinese people.</p>
<p>Why do you think that is?</p>
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		<title>By: Erika</title>
		<link>http://lostinstockholm.com/2008/05/26/rude-swedes-are-not-an-oxymoron/#comment-22659</link>
		<dc:creator>Erika</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 14 Sep 2010 18:39:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://leglobetrotteur.wordpress.com/?p=71#comment-22659</guid>
		<description>hehe haven’t read the rest of your blog but I&#039;m just assuming that you are in Stockholm?
I can&#039;t say I experience that anywhere ells then when I&#039;m visiting our beloved capital city :P</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>hehe haven’t read the rest of your blog but I&#8217;m just assuming that you are in Stockholm?<br />
I can&#8217;t say I experience that anywhere ells then when I&#8217;m visiting our beloved capital city :P</p>
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		<title>By: Princess</title>
		<link>http://lostinstockholm.com/2008/05/26/rude-swedes-are-not-an-oxymoron/#comment-20477</link>
		<dc:creator>Princess</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Aug 2010 11:06:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://leglobetrotteur.wordpress.com/?p=71#comment-20477</guid>
		<description>@citizenLen - thanks for the translation I think maybe Henrik has a few issues with Swedes and with English translation!!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>@citizenLen &#8211; thanks for the translation I think maybe Henrik has a few issues with Swedes and with English translation!!</p>
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		<title>By: CitizenLen</title>
		<link>http://lostinstockholm.com/2008/05/26/rude-swedes-are-not-an-oxymoron/#comment-20419</link>
		<dc:creator>CitizenLen</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 29 Aug 2010 23:44:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://leglobetrotteur.wordpress.com/?p=71#comment-20419</guid>
		<description>I&#039;ll translate the Swedish above for English speakers:

&quot;Swedes (regardless of city/place/county, age, social class etc.) are brusque, rude, cold, arrogant and full of self-loathing.&quot;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I&#8217;ll translate the Swedish above for English speakers:</p>
<p>&#8220;Swedes (regardless of city/place/county, age, social class etc.) are brusque, rude, cold, arrogant and full of self-loathing.&#8221;</p>
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		<title>By: Henrik</title>
		<link>http://lostinstockholm.com/2008/05/26/rude-swedes-are-not-an-oxymoron/#comment-18719</link>
		<dc:creator>Henrik</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 15 Aug 2010 12:09:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://leglobetrotteur.wordpress.com/?p=71#comment-18719</guid>
		<description>I&#039;m sad to say this, but it&#039;s true: Svenskar (oavsett stad/ort/län, ålder, klass etc.) är ohyffsade, oartiga, kyliga, arroganta och fulla av självförakt (no need to translate it to English).</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I&#8217;m sad to say this, but it&#8217;s true: Svenskar (oavsett stad/ort/län, ålder, klass etc.) är ohyffsade, oartiga, kyliga, arroganta och fulla av självförakt (no need to translate it to English).</p>
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		<title>By: Oleg</title>
		<link>http://lostinstockholm.com/2008/05/26/rude-swedes-are-not-an-oxymoron/#comment-15151</link>
		<dc:creator>Oleg</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 05 Jul 2010 09:43:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://leglobetrotteur.wordpress.com/?p=71#comment-15151</guid>
		<description>What are you people talking about? I  am ukrainian, live in Sweden for 4 years now, first 2 in Göteborg, now in Linköping. People here DO hold doors, don&#039;t push you on the streets or in transport, everyone is smiling, always say Hej and Hejdå. Rude drivers and cyclists? well, they just make each other mad, because far not all drivers here are good drivers, and some cyclists just behave stupid when they cross the street. Maybe folks in stockholm are not so nice, but u can&#039;t judge the whole sweden and all swedes by stockholm.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>What are you people talking about? I  am ukrainian, live in Sweden for 4 years now, first 2 in Göteborg, now in Linköping. People here DO hold doors, don&#8217;t push you on the streets or in transport, everyone is smiling, always say Hej and Hejdå. Rude drivers and cyclists? well, they just make each other mad, because far not all drivers here are good drivers, and some cyclists just behave stupid when they cross the street. Maybe folks in stockholm are not so nice, but u can&#8217;t judge the whole sweden and all swedes by stockholm.</p>
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