I’ve been on a long hiatus from the blog and I apologize to everyone who does follow me on a regular basis. I have been traveling around Scandinavia and the US and finally am recomposing my thoughts for some new, interesting posts.
I noticed there are some Swedish men who follow this blog and as women (Swedish or otherwise), we are curious as to how your side of the species flirts. Some are general questions…some very specific.
Do Swedish men give compliments randomly to women? If not, are they trying to hit on the girls?
Do you think women should hit on men or vice versa?
Do you celebrate Valentine’s day? Why or why not?
Do people flirt in public? On the train, at the store, etc…
What are signs of flirtatious behavior?
Why do men need to be on the verge of blacking out to hit on women?
Does the ‘player’ culture exist?
What do you expect to happen on a first date? (not a first encounter, if that was the case)
Are Swedish women really that boring? Or are the Swedish men really that boring?
“my man” is a swede and he is everything BUT boring. And he gives compliments, and flirts like every guys I know. And im pretty sure the player culture exist. But I also noticed a lot of young people get together and have kids early.
I’ve been spending a lot of time in Sweden the past year but I’m still not sure to get how it works there though. sometimes it feels like everything is the same as here (France) but sometimes…not at all…..yeah I realize im not helping that much lol.
So I’ve been dating a Swede for about four months. A while back, a Swedish male friend of his visited from out of town and supposedly wanted to pick up a girl while we were out. The scene: New York City, Friday night, hipster territory, women EVERYWHERE. Anyway I was prepared to step back a bit while my Swede played wingman . . . but no. Both of them . . . tall, hot, strapping nordic lads with nice clothes, advanced degrees and fluent English . . . stood there like a pair of shy fourteen-year-old girls at a middle school dance. How exactly he was thinking he would pick up an American girl like that, I have no idea.
@ memoandmyself- I think your questions are in tandem with what other women wonder about swedish men and the culture. If you come up with anything, do post!
@smarkand- And that’s how they do it! They wait for signals or for the women to say “hi.” Some of the Swedes say the women have as much right to pick up the men in a bar. It’s just something to get used to. =)
oookey I have something, but I think it’s more common to men in general…. “My” swede is supposed to come here (Paris) in June and he doesn’t have a return ticket…the plan is kinda “him staying with me and we live happily ever after” …anyhoo…I know he wants to…but everytime I talk about him starting to look for a job…we get into a fight… I don’t wanna rule his life or anything…but..ok maybe i am?
(I’m a bad speller so please….)As a swedish male I can give a answer to one question. The one about what your man and his friend was doing.
They where waiting for eyecontact, no swedish male moves on a woman if he hasn’t had a positive/eyecontact well he might if he’s drunk. They might have moved to a other place in the bar to have a better chance of being notised, but it would have bee EXTREMLY rude of your man to leave you alone. And his friend had no plan on how he could fake a reason to be alone in the bar since sweds go out together he would be judged as a creepy man (drunkard/rapist) if he was alone when he made eyecontact.
I was very surprised at how flirty swedish men are. In a resent trip this 2 very good looking men (younger). sent a friend & me champange, even when Iwe made it clear Iwe were married.
When I asked for the check (expensive restaurant), I was told it had been taken care of by this men. They sat at our table and insisted to stay with us so other guys would´t hit on us.
They were real gentelmans.
I´ve been married for 18 years, so this expirience really lifted my spirits but i am a bit confuse, why did they stay?????
@memoandmyself- Has Mr. Swede arrived? How is it going? We would love to hear an update.
@Samuel- That’s really good information to know. I think there is some chivalry in that: letting the woman indicate she is interested rather than just hitting on her
@surprised43yrold wife- I have no clue either! Would any of our other Swedish male readers respond?
It is possible they were just enamored by you ladies and enjoyed the spending the evening with you. I will research this some…
It´s been a week scince this expirienced, when I came back to my coutry my sister told me I looked diffrent, ” your eyes have something, you look beautiful”.
After being the “wife of “or the “mother of “for so many years, always being taken for granted, I have to admit I had given up on me.. Wiith out even trying I´ve lost 2 pounds, I threw away all my “comfortable clothes”, I enyoy getting dress in a way that makes me feel beautiful. I woke up! I feel alive again!
Sometimes a total stranger values you more and can make you feel more important than the people who “love you”!
Swedish men for me are the best when it comes to treating a woman!!!
Even though nothing happened,I will always remember this day!
I’m having a hard time figuring out a Swede. I’m Asian, got to know a Swede on the internet. Talked for almost 8 months on msn and became really close friends. We decided to meet up in Vancouver for a short holiday. I flew in from Asia and he from Sweden. When we first met, we were like old friends, we shared hotel rooms and he was passionate. But he made it a point to inform me a couple of times during the trip that he will not fall in love with me because he is so not over his ex. He also admitted that I’m very pretty to him but he’s by nature only attracted to european looks.
Like most description of Swedish men, he is reserved in public, quiet, but is extremely funny, intelligent, sarcastic in a humorous way and at the same time, distant. All in all, he is a good guy. While we were traveling, he gotten news that his ex was officially with another guy and was very sad.
We have remained very good friends since the trip and arranged to hook up some time again. Now my question is : is he or is he not romantically interested in me?????
If he is, why is he making so sure that I must not fall for him (kept saying that he just want me to understand that he cannot love me blah blah blah)???
If he is not, then why bother wanting to hook up with me again? Or issit just for the sexcapades?? But then, gorgeous Swedish girls are plenty.
I’m confused on how I should proceed because I really am NOT a Asian hora (whore) and I do have feelings for him.
Aww Cat!
I think he jsut doesn’t know what he wants and you shouldn’t be going to him at his beck and call, sadly i think its all about the sex :( tell him you don’t wanna know till he has more respect for you in tha way. Because using a woman for sex is not respect!
Hello I am an american girl, who met a lovely Swedish boy here in the states. I guess my qestion would be how honest and faithful are Swedish men? Are they players as we say in America?
Silly question I know…dian
I don’t know if I can say it about all Swedish men. Nay, I cannot. But there was one who I called mine and loved a lot. He made the eye contact, sometimes blatantly staring like a possessed lost soul. And then cheated on me without any hesitation, any feeling. When I stopped reciprocating without asking a word or demanding any answer (how could I, after being so humiliated), he moved on with the other one and never bothered. Now I hear that was only a passionate fling, and that he is still interested in me. But in spite of still loving him alone in the universe, I cannot take the risk of trusting him again. Probably would find it difficult to trust any other Swede again.
If you ever get the “look” (eye contact/stare) from a Swedish male it will remain in your thoughts for a long time.
It has the ability to peirce through your soul and stain your new love-sick heart…
I can’t get it out of my head! Someone save me (preferrably Swedish)!
I recently “met” a Swede guy online and I admit I got so attracted to him that after a few days of chatting, it seems I wanna move and live with him forever! I’m an Asian and the truth is I have so much excess baggage in my life that would make any guy turn away and run back to his Mama.
But no, my Swede guy isn’t like that. He’s not letting go of me just because of an ugly past. He is the sweetest guy ever. He’s funny, making faces all the time, goofy and very shy. Yes, my handsome darling is rather conservative and shy about sex topics. He’s very passionate though and a gentleman to boot.
My philosophical Swede, loves to talk about religion as well. He’s very open-minded and we can actually talk about anything without getting bored. He also knows how to make promises and fulfill them. Shucks! He’s a rare find. I have had an American boyfriend for 2 years and a French boyfriend for a month or so and they’re nothing compared to him. I just wish this will go on forever… I’m in clouds!
@firdaus: I´m sorry to hear about that. Just wanted to point out that, i do know “bad people” that have in the past/ cheated on their boyfriends/girlfriends. However – in about 90% of the cases, it´s the Swedish girls that has been unfaithful. NOT the men. Being unfaithful is something I could never imagine being/doing. I´d rather break up if I would meet someone else. Cause if you are unfaithful, somethings not right with your relationship in the first place.
It´s in my opinion and experience more common for Swedish women to be unfaithful, then men. Maybe it has to do with the fact that Swedish women in general are quite good looking (however also very boring if you ask me) and doesn´t have any problems finding guys. Most of my friends would agree with me on this one. I´m afraid you caught one of the bad ones. So it´s not something “typical” for Swedish males – hang in there. ;)
I think our loving personality is rather natural for us unless someone turns us then look out!
My paternal grandfather was a son-of-a-bitch, hateful and abusive to family but if you were NOT family a wonderful person. He was just a miserable ass!
I have been with my Swede guy for two years now. We met online on a Rosetta Stone language chat, and the love for each other was very unexpected. I am sure if we met in person instead of online our beginnings would be much different, and perhaps he would have been too shy to make any advancement, the internet makes it easy for us all to open up. When he came to America he was very well mannered and shook hands with everyone he met, he was definitely more proper and groomed than most American men. He was not shy at all when it came to socializing with my family and friends. When I went to Sweden I made many different observations about the men. All of course had their own ways, but there was some traits that many had. When I met his friends they seemed kind of silent around me with some light, but not deep conversation, but when we all went to the bar they would not shut up haha. Alex and I went to a club one night with his friends and when people heard my American accent they would gather around to practice their English haha. One man at the club though was standing there and openly hit on me when Alex was next to me, that kind of through me off since I did not expect that from a Swedish guy- but the alcohol helps loosen them up a bit. As for other questions, the player men do exist, probably in every society in some way, but Alex had a friend that went by “the player” and was all over the ladies where ever we went. And for Valentines Day, Alex had no idea that it was that day back in February haha, I had to kind of throw hints, but it does not really matter to me. Swedish men and women seem pretty different to me, it seems that the men don’t have to do much work in getting ladies because the women seem to make most of the advances, I swear they are another breed :P, they are very strong women. In America the women usually sit back and wait for the guys, but in Sweden the men sit back and wait for the ladies. But anyways, great topic!
hi i’m a panamanian girl! im dating this Swede guy for about 5 months now,we are both on working visas here in usa!!!when we met in november last year he was the most amazing man on earth…. he will visit me every day and he couldnt wait to make plans for the next time we see each other .. so in december he went back to visit his family fro christmas and i felt i was gonna die without him he wrote me every day and call me 3 times in the 2 weeks he was there… but when he came back it was a total diferent person! 3 months have passed now and he is hasnt said “i love u” we keep on fighting and we r kinda broken up now but i tell him please leave me alone and he keeps on acting like everything is normal!!1 even he is so cold tells me to backoff, to leave him alone… he barely wants to spend time with me and he says he cant love me now cause he first need to know if he is goonna get his green card to b able to stay in usa and start building his life!!! i dont know what to do my friends said sandra leave him, but i do love him but i cant understand if he doesnt love why he stills callls me and ask me to hang out and we dont even have sex every time we see each othere cause he is always tired and all he does is work, go work out get home eat and watch tv!!!! what can i do??????????
please someone answer my questions!!!!
@Sandra- This is really tough spot. To me it seems that he maybe fell in love with you because he hoped to stay in the US if something more happened?? But then again, you are on a visa too so that doesn’t make sense. He also just seems like a A)a Jerk; or B) seriously confused. I would be clear to him about your feelings and what is bothering you. If he cannot get that through his thick skull, then you should move on.
I am sure there are prettier fish in the sea. ;)
Hello everybody!
Oh my lord, there is a lot of things to read and see. but all of us, are humans and all have the same feelings deep inside, the way we express ourselves depends of our cultural backgrounds mostly, but sometimes there are clichés about how is the american, mexican, italian, and in this case, sweden male/female when it comes to love relationships.
I have met a sweden man in a online community almost a month ago, from the begining he has been just a gentleman, he is a prince, he treats me as a queen, with total respect, absolutely.
I dont want to fall in love with him because the whole situation scares me to dead, I start to think in all that “what ifs”, what if he have a girlfriend (sweden girls are gorgeous), what if he is just playing with me, what if this or that.
He says that I’m important for him, he says he loves me and adores me, and I feel like a walk in the clouds ha ha ha.
I’m from Mexico and que is from Umeå, sometimes he stays until really late hours of the night just to chat with me and he think that we will meet one day.
He is a dream! ha ha ha, and I cant stop thinking about him. But I have a suspicious mind, and sometimes I think “this is too beautiful to be true”.
Im confused. Maybe Im already in love with him, but I dont want to admit it lol.
regards!
Hi Brenda!!
I agree!!swedish boys seems really too beautiful to be true, but most of the time they are really honest!! if they don’t want to be with you believe me, they will tell you.
I was living in Sweden for some time, they can be quite strange for us ( I’m Mexican too) but they are adorable :P so don’t worry and enjoy it!!
I dont want to be nasty. But Im a 190 cm tall blond viking. In Sweden .. heck (and thats a problem for me ;-) no women … automaticly.. are interested of me. But, when Im abroad , especially in London and Spain, its not so hard to get a telephonenumber from women.
I think that English women are fascinated of vikings. A 1000 years old thing that still is alive.
Its so crazy I found a blog about swedish men! I found a beautiful swedish man on spring break, but like everyone has said to good to be true. Once I read the blog I realized that my swed does similar things mentioned like:
1. the eye contact
2. I actually said hi first passing by the 2nd time in the club
3. super romantic and shy
4. only text messages and msn me
5. doesnt really talk about the future just lives in the moment
although it was a 3 day romance i felt like i fell in love but its been a month and he hasnt called just text ! We are meeting up again soon but how can someone trust someone that hasnt actually verbally communicated for months at a time ?
Am I crazy for meeting him up?
Hi,
Swedish men. I came across a young 23yr old man on an xbox360 Live chat while playing GoW2. We hit it off right then, and talked till the next morning. We’ve been talking since for a few days now. He is funny, intelligent, and honest. From what I can gather of these comments, these three traits are what stick out to me. This swedish man is funny(corny), intelligent in many facets of life, and is suprisingly honest. We developed an attraction for each other with only our voices to distinguish ourselves(headphones live chat). I’m an American Peruvian, who’s unexpectedly enamored with this swede. However, I wonder what do we both gain from this… Odds are we may or may not meet. Yet, he confides in me and I’m suprisingly confiding in him. Also, he did say has cheated on a women before, 2x, different women, which is pretty big to admit. So I’m inclined to be suspicious …
I know this is such a general question but do you think Swedish men only like women that are very slender. I only ask because the Swedish women are so beautiful and all seem very slender. Do you think some Swedish men can fall in love with a woman that is curvy or a few extra pouds or is this a sign of laziness with their culture?
Oh my god I love all of the comments here :)…First, I want to say hi to all of you great women that have fallen for a Swede, I’m part of your community: D…special greetings for my Mexican sisters Brenda and Jesica, and brave Swedish men.
Second, what I’ve learned about my Swedish bf so far, well he is shy, kind, and well-mannered, has a heart the size of Jupiter, and is very thoughtful, smart, funny, and romantic. He told me that he’s happy I made the first move coz otherwise he would’ve been too shy to ever speak to me. We met like 10 months ago, started as friends, and have been officially in a relationship since February. What I’ve learned about observation (my bf and his friends) is that in Sweden like in every other place there are some good men, and some others that are total jerks; so you have no other option than to be attentive of the signs shown by them in order for you to figure them out. A good point about Swedes is that they are very honest, which means that if you are dating a Swede you can be certain that he means what he says when he opens his heart to you, and tells you how much he likes/love/adores you, so is better if you stop thinking about how gorgeous Swedish women are (beauty is subjective), remember that there’s a reason why he decided to be with you and not some other girl (Swedish or whatever else), so you have to learn to trust him and be confident. Enjoy the ride!
Third and last, Irene, I’m a voluptuous girl (5’7” size 10), and my Swede has had no problem finding me beautiful. I believe I’m pretty average, still he things I’m the cutest thing to ever landed in this planet (talking about love being blind:D). Any ways, we all know that Swedish girls are beautiful, Swedish men are used to this, that’s why I think that exterior features is not what makes them fall for you, they find more important for you to be authentic, kind, funny, and trustworthy. Trust is very important, coz I’ve known from my bf’s previous experiences that Swedish women are prone to unfaithfulness. I hope my experience can serve you well. Take care girls & boys! ?
Cat, I recommend that you get over this hangup that many asian women have, that white men are the best…or that to get one is to get a “trophy” for yourself. Oh, let me guess…it just so HAPPENED he’s white…but you date “all kinds of men” right? But that probably includes a large number of white men whenever possible right?
[...] 3. The Dying Questions for the Swedish Men [...]
Girls, thanks for your answers, its been about two-three months since we met via internet. sometimes is hard to get even, because we have seven hours of difference between mexico and sweden I guess. his job is in a hospital, (emergency room) and thats why he is not for so long online.
but when he pops, saids to me things like “I like you, you are in my dreams every nights, I adore you, I miss you” and I feel Im flying again! ha ha ha, so when he isnt online I left him love messages, just to let him know that Im here, for real, Im not playing, Im not seeing other guys in my country, I only want HIM and I think I love him sigh.
I want to meet him in person, and Im a curvy girl, he says that he likes that from me, but I have this need to be more attractive and beautiful for him, I want to work out and be more healthy, I just want to feel sexy for him.
I want to believe in his honesty, and my body trembles just to imaging how would be our first encounter, he is tall, and I wonder how does it feels to be huged by such a man like him ha ha ha, oh dear Im lost :P
He thinks that we will meet really soon, and I want to believe that dream will come true. our birthdays are in the same month (september) and would be great to meet each other then awwww
am I dreaming to high? :S
i just met this swedish guy 2 weeks ago and i am stupidly thinking of him since them, he approach me at a bar after a few shots, adn we had intimacy the first night we met, and then i found him online and talked to him so he finally asked me out otherwise he probably wouldnt call after a week, and so we had sex again this second time, he is so agressive and passionate in bed, but out of it he is kind of cold for my taste i am a latin, and we are in an asian country, he likes to writte emails to mee instead of making a phone call, and always finish them with the line of i hope to see you soon again!, but i wonder what does it means???, do you think i am getting myself ilusionated for nothing???, please a swedish guy answer me!!!!
Ive been talking to my Swede now for a few months online on and off at first and the last month on the phone and on msn via cam. things have been progressive we are completely in love with each other even though we haven’t met yet. we are forever writing each other messages .. to wake up to everyday .. and talk on line all day long until i make him goto sleep hahaaa. We had planned on meeting this month in which would be a week. But things have so progressed that we both would rather just move to be with each other. I am going to move to Sweden as soon as i can get things taken care of here. I lost my job 2 months ago and have nothing holding me here as well as i have my EU citizenship so it makes more sense for me to move there. I’m scared to learn swedish hahahaa. He wants to marry me tells me over and over he wants to be able to call me his wife. He has already set up a bigger place to live with a yard for my little dog. I am so in love with him and hes so in love with me we don’t even have to meet yet to know that each other is everything we want and need and have been looking for our whole lives. My friends think i’m crazy my parents are not talking to me I just told them.( ps i’m 30 old enough to make my choices hahaa) . His friends think hes a little crazy to. But we couldn’t care less as long as we are crazy together thats all that matters. Hes my everything with out even meeting him yet.
Ooooo and I just read brenda’s comments “But I have a suspicious mind, and sometimes I think “this is too beautiful to be true”.” any one thats been hurt does so do I but this just feels so right and worth it .
Avril Lavigne – Innocence .. sums it up for me .. =)
My Comment on:
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“sofia permalink”
i just met this Swedish guy 2 weeks ago and i am stupidly thinking of him since them, he approach me at a bar after a few shots, and we had intimacy the first night we met, and then i found him online and talked to him so he finally asked me out otherwise he probably wouldn’t call after a week, and so we had sex again this second time, he is so aggressive and passionate in bed, but out of it he is kind of cold for my taste i am a Latin, and we are in an Asian country, he likes to write emails to me instead of making a phone call, and always finish them with the line of i hope to see you soon again!, but i wonder what does it means???, do you think i am getting myself illusionated for nothing???, please a Swedish guy answer me!!!!
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My Comment :
I had exactly the same situation – no phone calls, only sms, passionate in bed- cold and introvert out of bed… Mine lives in London. Yours? :) .
We were dating almost 1 month. After a little research on facebook I found out that he is using dating application and sending “winks” to the girls. I got mad, but didn’t say anything until he came back from Sweden.
Then as usual – he send me sms asking if I would like to come over. I said that: “it seems like we are looking for different things and that we should go in different directions”. His reaction was very calm, as I expected. Than when I mentioned facebook and his lovely photo on dating application- his answer was like this “O, sorry, I didn’t know that you will be upset because of that, I THOUGHT THAT WE ARE NOT DATING EXCLUSIVELY!” That’s all…
I did like him a lot. He was snoring sometimes during the night, but I was ready to get use to it, as actually I fell in love with him. And he was just having fun!!! I deleted his number from my phone. Was crying few days. But got over him somehow. Now every time I meet Swedish guy – I stay very alert.
I am Dateing A Swedish Man , he is the smartest, sweetest,kindest,most dominating male i have Ever met , but hell i’m Biased , he asked me to marry him …….
How do I meet a swedish man? I live in asia. is there a site or something? All my life i’ve waited for a swedish man…i love the language!!!
It seems that everyone has met a swedish guy either online or in person…I live in NYC and is fascinated with the swedish culture and would like to visit. Where can I find ligitimate online communities to meet regular swedish people male and female to learn more abut the culture and make friends before i take my trip. I am not interested in the websites that say HOT SWEDISH etc etc..lol…just the social sites for regular people.
Thanks in advance
Stop bullshitting. You only want swedish men beacuse the are tall and big downstairs.
it never seizes to amaze me when i see stupidity such as the comments i have been reading here. is this not just a blog and not some dating side here?
hey, everyone, i met an gorgeous swedish young men during an international event in beijing these days. we’ve worked together for a couple of days. and since the first day i met him, i had a major crush on him. He’s very kind and nice.but i was too shy to hint him that i had feelings for him,i just keep avoiding him. and he will soon leave, im gonna really miss him. i know im really stupid but this is just my character, i cant resist it.
Hello. I’m new to the world of Swedish men. I don’t have any romantic Swede stories but I’m just intrigued by them nonetheless. I’ve searched to find information about them but to no avail, until I came across this site. I’ve also asked several people and I got everything from “Swedes shouldn’t be trusted.” to “Swedes are sweet and fun-loving”. To be honest, I’m very skeptical and cautious (Swede or whatever else) but I am curious. Can someone Swede or whomever, please enlighten me?
WHOA..whoa whoa whoa. Okay, first of all I would like to say I googled a question on Swedish guys and this is what I get,so perfect it’s eerie.. I met my Swedish guy online through a friend and he’s the most intelligent,sexy,well spoken guy with THE BEST sense of humour..we talk so much and are open with each other,although..I forgot to mention something that doesn’t seem surprising on here/new,I’m Spanish? So..what’s up with all these spanish ladies and their Swedish men?lol. Anyways Im starting to really care for him but it’s really hard to deal with everything since he’s so far..I plan to visit him next year and he already says he wants to marry me,have kids with me and grow old with me..I’m 20,he’s 22-crazy yes? Anywho,Swedish men are and beautiful and I appreciate the culture and history more than I ever have..Even though I’m starting university this year I am considering transfering to a uni in Uppsala,but who knows what may happen? :)
Ps:at first I thought Swedish sounded like Klingon when I started to learn it but now I realize it’s a beautiful langauage……that,still sorta sounds like Klingon..? Jk
@Kristina – AHAHA. Quite possibly true.
@Hilary – The Scandinavian community in New York city is huge. Join a Young Scandinavians Club or a professional organization geared towards the Nordic community.
@Jie – That is indeed the world of Swedish men
@Kris – Swedes are just like any other people, some are wonderful, funny, people, others are douchebags.
@Ellaoo – Swedes need some exotic spice in the mix. LOL. What I can say, don’t build your life around him in case things don’t work out (besides, long distances suck). And don’t limit yourself to him, if you think you guys are monogamous long distance wise right now, be sure to ask, it may not be true.
What is the best place in Stockholm to find a Swedish guy? :) I’ve always loved the Nordic type, but Swedish men are just amazing. They are so handsome and groomed.
My husband is swedish, he’s the sweetest guy I’ve met and he treats me with all love. I think they are a bit shy compared to other western men. And it is true they probably don’t date.
I’ve had a danish bf before as well, he never ever thought of being attracted to an asian woman before he met me, he said the connection and chemistry we had was so much more than any swede women he had been with before and he loved me more than anyone he’d met before. Unfortunately it didn’t work out because of the circumstances but it surely changed both of our lives. From that moment on I decided I only want a scandiavian husband, they seem to have the best chemistry with my personality.
I’ve met other swedes and they all liked me a lot, so for me, a viking is perfect and I’ve found the perfect one for myself. For those who haven’t, just remember love has no boundary and if it was supposed to be, it will be.
My husband is swedish, he's the sweetest guy I've met and he treats me with all love. I think they are a bit shy compared to other western men. And it is true they probably don't date.
I've had a danish bf before as well, he never ever thought of being attracted to an asian woman before he met me, he said the connection and chemistry we had was so much more than any swede women he had been with before and he loved me more than anyone he'd met before. Unfortunately it didn't work out because of the circumstances but it surely changed both of our lives. From that moment on I decided I only want a scandiavian husband, they seem to have the best chemistry with my personality.
I've met other swedes and they all liked me a lot, so for me, a viking is perfect and I've found the perfect one for myself. For those who haven't, just remember love has no boundary and if it was supposed to be, it will be….
hey guys, people keep mentioning this eye contact/ stare that swedish men do. Forgive my swedish ignorance, but do swedish women do this as well? just wondering for curiosity sake.
Kris
I disagree that we Swedish men would be less trust worthy than men from other countries. Rather the opposit! Getting involved with someone from another culture and with a different language can be difficult since at least one of you will have to give up the everyday contact with near friends, family and everything familiar. Then again, love does conquer all and a passionate relationship with someone from another country sure is a thrilling, exotic and wonderful experience. ;-)
Hilary
I think there is a site called “thelocal” for news, and for info like this you seem to have hit the spot already. You can also read travelexperiences at travelblog.org. I’d love to help you out more in detail with everything you are curious about but I’m not sure I want to post my email address openly here. I am very curious about the everyday life of people in other countries too. NY is great! I was there in May on a leisure trip with my collegues. We went to bars in The Village and Hells Kitchen and had a great time… with locals as well. ;)
Dew
Depends on what type you are shopping after. If you want the very groomed, sun tanned, rich or wanna be rich –type of guy then the clubs around Stureplan on Ostermalm is where you want to be. If you want the less groomed, “alternative-fashioned”, guy with a real or pretended deep interest in culture and obscure music then Sodermalm is the place for you. In my opinion you will probably find the most normal “Stockholm guys” at one of the hard to find clubs at Kungsholmen or Gamla Stan (Old Town). Of course these are generalizations and it is often down to what specific club you should go to in the different parts of Stockholm to find a certain kind of guy. Men in Sweden might be quite different depending on what city or part of Sweden they live in.
/ Johan
Hej to all,
I’m so happy that I stumbled upon this blog as I have been confused for sometime about a Swedish guy that I met this past Spring in NYC.
I am African-American born and raised in NYC. Tan skinned with brown hair and eyes. People compare me to Halle Berry but only because I am an actress and me and Halle do have similarities (short hair cut, same body type and height, similar eyes).
Okay so I met this Swedish guy early Spring at a bar that my best friend promotes parties at. My friend went to the bathroom and a few moments later the Swedish guy walked up to me and began talking to me. I noticed him before that and thought oh he’s cute but didn’t plan on talking to him. I just assumed I wasn’t his type. He told me he was in NYC for the weekend on leisure from his job (he resided in another US state for a short time for work). He was with his co-workers but they weren’t as open as he was.
I’m a great judge of character and thought this guy is pretty cool in my book so I invited him to my friends VIP table for a drink. I invited his co-workers but they declined. So we talked about various things and the chemistry was instant between us!
The lounge was closing so I invited him to a friends apartment for after hours. We were sitting on the couch and since the alcohol was in effect I hugged him and mind you I am usually prude with men I first meet. He started to rub his fingers through my hair and was giving me this look like I like you but I respect you. Out of nowhere I just kissed him. My best friend was shocked because he has never seen me like that with a guy I just met ever!! Later my friend told me he went to the bathroom because he saw the Swedish guy eyeing me at the bar (by the way, my best friend is a gay male).
We spent the whole next day together behaving like lovebirds out of some fairytale. He was very sweet, honest and open with me. I even invited him to my apartment which I never do with anyone I just met especially I man!! I got alot of what you ladies mentioned “the Swedish Stare” lol. He never made me feel like we have to have sex which made me want him more. We never had sex but we did ALOT of four play! *smile*
He told me we wouldn’t see each other for a month because he had to so back to Sweden for work. I only received one phone call from him the entire month he was away, no emails either unless he was responding to my email. So I didn’t stress him just gave him his space to do what he needed. Suddenly, a month later exactly, he called me to tell me he was in NY and asked me if I wanted to go have a beer with him. I didn’t have plans so I accepted. I noticed he was more guarded this time. After the night ended I went with him to his hotel and yes we did it! haha. He was very passionate and somewhat dominating which I, a somewhat dominating woman, enjoyed.
The next day we went to the musuem, central park, all that tourist stuff I hate but was doing because he wanted to. He was so guarded he seemed cold but being the analytical, understanding person I am I just gave him his space and let him do what he wanted.
The next day he flew back to the state of his workplace. He was supposed to go to Sweden again for 6 weeks but was told he had to stay and would not be coming back to the US. I didn’t find this out until 5 months later because I emailed him a few times and he would never respond. Of course I was hurt but I just thought we didn’t establish anything official so why be upset. I decided to call because I thought maybe something was wrong. I week after I called he sent me an email saying how he lost his job, apartment, etc. Then I sent him an email to encourage him and left it at that. 2 months later he sent me an email apologizing for not being in touch. Then he told me he just wanted me to know that he thinks of me and keeps my picture (the headshot I gave him) to remember me by. He ended the message with besos which is what I usually end my emails with to him. I responded somewhat guarded because he is all the way on the other side of the country so I thought no need to go crazy. Then he responded back right away which he never does. I responded again asking what he was up to. He hasn’t responded back.
The thing is I think I love him because I can’t get him out of my mind and I think he may enter my life again someday but I don’t understand him clearly other then his innuendos. At this time I am open to meeting other guys, and have, but no one is like him in anyway…
I forgot to ask my question. lol.
Okay so he said in his last email ‘I don’t know if you have my number’ then he gave me his number. I was puzzled by this because I did call him 2 months ago why would I not have his phone number!?
Do you think he wants me to call him? I feel as if he should call me first at this point. I did reach out to him several times via email and called him twice since he’s been back in Sweden and it took him forever to respond. I think maybe he’s too scared or shy to call? Maybe he’s just feeling me out or curious as to how I’m doing?
Is there a Swedish man who can give me advice on this??
I saw a performance in my hometown (in Australia), and was immediately attracted to one of the performers (one of the buffest guys I have ever seen!), so I made contact with him online. I’ve chtted with him online for hours at a time, and it’s true what’s been said above, how they are open and honest, caring and polite. I’ve never officially met him face to face, but he was definitely responsible for the initiation of my somewhat obsessive attraction to Swedish men. I think it’s a valid assumption to make that I very nearly fell in love with this guy, and his mere presence online made me swoon (and his adorable English). It’s true to say from my experience that I see Swedish men as honest and open, but funny and friendly. Although I have no comments on the eye contact point, I agree with the other points made, especially since he seems to prefer when I begin our conversations, whilst he sits back and “waits”. I am unsure how good a representation of a real swede he is, considering his job requires him to his life travelling (only in Sweden once every couple of years), but he’s enough of a taste to start planning my future with a Swedish husband I am yet to meet (not the one I refer to). Let’s hope I find a suitable one :P
(btw, I’m jealous of all you women who say you have Swedish husbands!)
@Shug I would call him. I’m not a Swedish man, but I’m married to one and had to make some of the first moves. I’m American and it took me a while to realize that Swedish guys just aren’t like American guys. They don’t want to come on too strong. and I think they would prefer to meet you in the middle. It takes a little more effort, but it’s worth it. Good luck to you! :)
TO SHUG
OMG…your story to too strange. I am from NYc and had a scary similar experince with a Swede I met here in NY. He even stold me the same story about lossing his job and apartment. I sure hope it’s not the same guy. What is his first name?
Sorry for my bad english…Im not from here.
What in general seems to be the Swedish man’s standing point on women who have children from a previous relationship? Seems like the American man’s stand point that I have gathered is usualy negative, are there cultural differances or simularities on this subject?
@ Jessica – I am still contemplating calling him but I am not so sure as I have tried reaching out to men in my past and it never works!! I am too scared to put myself out there like that for a guy I barely know but somehow have feelings for still. I emailed him maybe 3-4 times before he responded 4 months later! I called him twice while he was out there yet he has never once called me. So at this point I am very guarded and just plain skeptical about what to do.
@Jay – Are you a guy? Well the losing his job part may be true as Sweden is now being affected by the recession while American is somewhat coming out of it! I don’t want to give you his name on this blog but I can give it to you via email if that works for you!?
@SHUG – Hi, thanks for responding. I’m a girl living in NYC. It’s just that when I read your story I completely freaked out. I had a similar experience with a Swedish guy I met here in NY around about the same time during the summer. His first name starts with an”L”
I was worried that we may had met the same person, but I don’t think so. I experienced the same behaviour from my guy once he went back to Sweden. I called him twice, he never answered his phone whenever I e-mail him, he responds whenever he feels like. Sometimes three weeks later and sometimes not at all.
You wanna know what I think….these Swedish men are only used to seeing blonde haired, blue eyed women in Sweden and when they get her, they wanna experience something”different”. I’m Bi racial. Half white and half black…I guess I looked somewhat “exotic” to him…something he’s not used to seeing. After they’ve had they way with us…they dissapear. Maybe Swedish men are not all that difference from men in general.
My advice to you is to move on and keep doing you. Dont contact that guy again…if he wants you…he’ll find a way to reach out to you/ be with you without you having to try to get him to. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. Good Luck.
I have been online dating a Swedish man for about 2 months. I am a black female (very dark), huge thighs and booty (size 12). When I finally got the courage to send my photos he went crazy for my big booty and chocolate skin colour! Is this normal?! He phones me/Skypes every week, texts and emails every day. I am a single mother of 2 and he doesn’t seem to mind (?!?!) He has recently told me he loves me and wants to meet me so we can discuss our future because he wants children with me (?!?!). A couple of weeks ago, I googled him using his name and the name of the company that is on his email address and it turns out that he is the CEO of the company and is a millionaire. So now I am confused because I dont know if he will ever be serious about me or is it all just an exotic experience for him. We are planning to meet next month in a neutral country but I just dont know how to handle all this; I have dated white guys before but not blonde haired, green eyed millionaires!! I have never told him I googled him but he acts very humble and down to earth and shies away from business/money discussions. He confides in me and says I am his soulmate. He is also 20 years older than me so I am wondering what he will expect in our first meeting… Any advice would be appreciated
Interesting… Just googled and found this blog. Being an expat in a European city, alone with a kid, I am on a local socialization website just to keep up with whats going on. I met this swedish guy, 15 years younger than me, had a friendly chat exchanged numbers for a coffee just out of being polite and social, as I never thought about dating a guy so much younger. We became friends on Facebook as well and kept in touch since then. All this time he says he wants to date me and I laugh and joke and wait till he stops mentioning. But no, he has been getting more and more serious about dating me how he thinks I am cool and atttractive and kind and fun. Which I am :) but not for him- 15 years younger! The strange thing is I enjoy him a lot and I start to beieve he is honest- he would go away after one year of hitting on and not getting what he wants, right? I am a mediterannean woman with a few extra pounds much older than him, so I totally feel inconfident dating him- gorgeous handsome fun nice guy! But he seems to be really interested and does not let go… So I end up googling swedish men with the hope of finding an answer to my dilemmas :) I want to date him but does not seem appropriate and true!
Do Swedish men give compliments randomly to women? If not, are they trying to hit on the girls?
- this is highly individual. there is no national mentality deciding this. i love dealing out compliments to girls because of the happiness (often in my favor) it generates, whether i’m seriously hitting on someone or not.
Do you think women should hit on men or vice versa?
- Every man would be absolutely delighted with not having to lift a finger to get a cute girl interested in him but i guess since that’s an uncommon reality…
Do you celebrate Valentine’s day? Why or why not?
- no, we always forget about it.
Do people flirt in public? On the train, at the store, etc…
- oh, yes. sometimes to a frustrating extent. the “i want to do you”-gaze is widely used but rarely leads to anything more than that.
What are signs of flirtatious behavior?
- the above. and other things like… smiling? trying to be impressive without boasting too much? being empathic? however, since i think swedish men generally are quite shy (afraid to get rejected), they usually wait for some kind of “sign” before they really “go for it”. the process can be quite slow because of this. (also it takes some time to build up courage since beer is only around 5%.)
Why do men need to be on the verge of blacking out to hit on women?
- this is due to a number of reasons. first of all, as i said, swedish men are shy and afraid to be rejected. second, the more you drink, the more you lower your standards (a.k.a beer goggles). the logic tells us that if we get wasted beyond all sense we might actually end up getting some.
Does the ‘player’ culture exist?
- no. people cheat a lot on each other though.
What do you expect to happen on a first date? (not a first encounter, if that was the case)
- a nice time, basically. hopefully some kind of sign that there will be progress in the future.
Are Swedish women really that boring? Or are the Swedish men really that boring?
- i find the ubiquitous swedish woman stereotype (strong, self pronounced independent, “self aware”, feminist, big boned, etc) quite de-sexualised. don’t ask me why. there are a lot of cute, funny, witty, smart, down to earth girls aswell though.
i don’t really know about the men being boring or not. i guess i agree with what someone said in another post about guys who have spent a lot of time abroad being more interesting.
Hello everyone!!!
A special hi to all the mexican girls out there im glad to see there are girls in love with swedish men so I don´t feel so weird myself you know??? anyway Im so confused I met 2 sweden guys about 2 months ago here in Mexico we first met at cancun and I totaly liked one of the guys and I hit on him, cause you know im crazy I lived in Europe many years so im kinda used to it lol anyway we ended up together that night and it was amazing, I felt for some strange reason I had met him for years God we had such a strong conection he makes me feel so comfortable and gorgeous when were together, for the weekend we got together in Mexico City and everything was perfect even his friend told me he had never seen him so happy and that if I didn´t rush things, probably a very nice relation could be the consecuence (go figure) well they left back to Sweden but they came again two months after we were together again he looked for me this blog is so interesting he only e mails me too never calls unless he´s already in Mexico its so funny and as all swedish I agree he´s a gentleman, funny love his face gestures oh adorable, but I totally messed everything I got very wasted and told him I was tired of him just looking for me just to have sex and I almost started crying jajaja pathetic I don´t recomend alcohol in situations like this… jaja anyway he was like oh don´t cry Im not playing I really like you bla bla, the thing is im confused did I do wrong or was it an accurate move?? im so scared things might change in a wrong direction after what I said because he´s coming again in February and I really want to see him its so much fun please tell me what you think
thank you!!!
Barbs 21, Mex.
I’m a swedish guy so if you have any questions then you can ask me :)
btw happy new year ;D
It doesn’t sounds like you guys have met Swedish guys .. the people you describe sounds so gay? but i guess you didn’t met the REAL ones ;) whait and see!
Mvh
Wow! extremely interesting! I’m mexican too and I wolud like some advice. About a month ago I met a swede in my hometown and we had a great time together. We hung out with a group of friends. He was planning to move to Mexico and hence was traveling all around the country. He left after a week of staying here, but a week later we met again in another city because we had to attend the same event and hung out a little bit.
I saw some of the signs mentioned above like the eye contact, the smiling and so forth. Something remarkable to me is that although there were many flirty girls going after him, he seemed to feel more comfortable around me, since I consider myself to be very honest and genuine. And although there were more people around (especially girls), I noticed he wasn’t really with the others, he basically tried to be more with me. He finally said that he had already chosen where to live, that is in a city about 3 1/2 hrs from here.
The thing is that we have sent some text messages to each other. More often is me who sends them first. Also, he has been asking people about me and my “qualities”. He says he hopes to see me later. The last time it was me who sent the message, so… what should I do? Should I wait until he texts me first? Am I crazy for thinking about him? After all, he didn’t choose my city yo live! Can someone please explain me what his behavior mean?? PLEASE!!!!!!
BTW his text messages seem to me like overly thought… and he doesn’t answer right away. It’s like if he was thinking and thinking about the right words to say, at least that’s what I get from his messages. And also when he does text me first it is always with an excuse… I have to admit that I find that adorable, but confusing. Do swedes text several women or do you think he only texts me? HELP!
@Swedish Guy- Any advice for Ana? I think most of these guys described are Swedish men, just maybe slightly heterosexual.
@Ana – Take a deep breath. Has he moved to Mexico yet? And just to confirm, both of you already have a sexual attraction, not just a friends attraction?
I would continue sending messages and chatting to him, ask him more questions, etc. However, you should know already whether you have a connection to him, regardless of him being Swedish.
Let us know and happy new year!
TY for answering Sapphire! He already found a house to live and will move in pretty soon. And I do feel we have a connection, an attraction, if you will. Even my friends and others noticed it, which is strange since we were acting “friendly”. But again, I really don’t know if his behavior is normal or not. I think it’s worth to mention that he is about ten years older, and also a little more outgoing than the rest of the swedes (according to what I’ve read) but probably only because he is trying to adapt to the new culture. I wouldn’t really mind that he texts me once in a while as long as I knew he only texts me.
I would really appreciate a comment from Swedish Guy. I like your comments to the other girls. Very honest. Just let me tell you that the swede I know is definetely NOT gay, and that he has high moral values. Believe me. But other than that, any advice from you (Swedish guy) will do. TY!
It is interesting u started talking about that, guys. It is hard with the swedish fashion and the high health standards to figure out where plain vanity ends and where homosexuality starts. I want to ask predominantly the swedish guys here: how can we, foreign girls, tell if a swedish guy is heterosexual, but taking care of his looks, (METROSEXUAL. Excuse me, i just don’t believe in that shit. If i guy puts lipgloss on, so his lips don’t get dry out in the cold, if he plucks his eyebrows and has his manicure done, i am getting SERIOUSLY TENSE.), whether he is a gay or bi? I am probably mostly afraid of the BI-group, because why would a 100% gay man aprroach me at all?! Unless he just wants to have kids to prolong his family name… But that even if not impossible, sounds like a soap-opera. Anyway, the question is – how to tell who falls for men too and who doesn’t?
Thanks for all the postings!
What I know to be true about Swedish men IS the importance of eye contact. I have been in a relationship for several months now and it took a little getting use to the way he would stay in eye contact with me when we were communicating. I am a white American woman and I didn’t know I had a problem with making eye contact until I started dating my Swede.
He questioned my honesty on a few occasions because I wasn’t looking him in the eye. He also has some trust issues because he had been heart broken in the past by a cheating Swedish girlfriend.
How we met was a little unique since he was a client at my work. After working with him for short while I noticed an energy between us…and couldn’t overlook the amazing Swedish body and smile. He was so respectful and not indicating. I wasn’t sure if it was my imagination. I took a big risk (I could lose my job) and gave him my number.
As soon as I confessed that I could not let him leave without asking him to dinner he transformed and told me that he was relieved that I made the first move. He said he didn’t want to come off as a jerk by hitting on me in my work place and he was saddened by the thought of never seeing me again. This was a bold move for me and it really paid off! We are crazy about each other.
Crazy jealous that is…….He has not gotten over the cheating Swedish girlfriend and in my world a jealous guy is normally a guilty guy. It makes things difficult for us. In my heart I know he has been faithful to me but his jealous nature makes me wonder about the motivation of his jealousy.
He is very open to mild forms of public affection. He enjoys even more letting the world know that I belong to him. This can be fun and sweet, but sometimes annoying in that cave man “Me Tarzan….”sort of way.
He is very giving with his love and his money. Often giving me gifts and refusing to allow me to pay. That was also a big adjustment for me as an independent woman.
He confessed to being a player in his college days (he’s 30) but also admitted that his dogging around came to a screeching halt after he had his heart ripped out by the cheating girlfriend.
I think all things considered he is very honest, almost to a fault. He shares his emotions freely and admits his weaknesses.
The jealousy is kind of a pain some times, but it can also make the relationship very passionate. He trusts me, but has no problem admitting when he is bothered by something.
I can’t say much about Valentines Day but my birthday was rolling in nice jewelry and flowers!
His opinion of Swedish women is pretty low with the exception of his mother. She is a Goddess in his eyes and I love him all the more for it.
Hope this helps!~K
First of all… I really want to thank you Sapphire for giving us all a space to post our experiences, doubts and advices regarding swedish men.
I am from Mexico City, and I used to be an english teacher. I met a swede at the school I used to work for .
I love sarcastic men, and he never dissapointed me about that. I also learned that most of swedish people don’t like french people. He was from Stock (as he used to say ). He was the director of the school, he lived in Brazil for a couple of years before coming to Mexico.
Maybe that was the reason why he behaved different from common swedish guys(according to what I ‘ve read here) he winked a lot at me and he smiled at me all the time. he gave me well given kisses on the cheek, in Mexico we just kiss the air and make the sound most of the times. This is a polite kiss when we greet each other among mexicans.
He also used to greet me every day with a huge hug( I was 20 and he was 30), he used to kiss my hand and tell me I was very pretty and that I had a beautiful skin. I am short “5ft” he is around 6′5. It was crazy I looked like if i was his key chain :-) he was so flirty with me, I know maybe mexican girls or latin girls are well known for being hot and sometimes even sexual( not all of them of course, but when you meet a foreigner they always ask you while having this “excited” look in their eyes if you can dance salsa. lol it seems they think you must. i am not, I ‘m a shy girl. True I liked him, he was sooo handsome but I was shy. Also I noticed that swedes are very well educated sweet and nice. He took care very well of himself, he was always neat and smartly dressed. he had good manners and spoke properly all the time. He speaks 7 languages, he was soo confident and I liked that very much.
what it always confused me is this…
Once he locked me with him inside a bathroom, I told you I ‘m shy, and my education was quite conservative. the lights were off and I didn’t move, we spent like this a little less than a minute, just standing there in the dark, I felt him nervous then he left.
As months passed by I started to know him better, and when i asked him for a kiss, he refused. well he told me he had a girlfriend in Chile, he told me something like…” I cannot kiss you because if I kiss you I will have to tell her… and I am a very honest person, and I cannot lie to her. So I will say YES, I kissed her. then she will say fuck you! and she’d be right” This happened a a few days before he went to Chile.
when he said that to me, he broke my heart. I told him that it was ok. it was actually his farewell party, funny at the end he kissed me and I haven’t seen him since that day.
Now I’ve grown up, and I can’t help but smile when I think of him.
maybe for many of you it is evident I screwed things up and you may be right. I sometimes regret about it.
But I am not sure yet, was he playing with me? or Did I mean anything to him at all?
i think it was something special but it may be not.
Please, advise
what do you think about this?
:-(
I’m an american girl and I find american men boring. Not all of them are, of course, but a large part of them think as their free time as an opportunity to drink beer and watch football. I don’t mind doing this once in a while, but I want to go out, watch independent movies, lilsten to music, travel, play chess, swim, go to different kinds of bars (not just sports bars). I hear swedish men are more versatile, speak several languages (as most europeans do), and their idea of fun at least includes a wider variety of sports.
Sincerely,
bored in america
Oh my! Thank you for this blog!
I keyed in Swedish men because there is one (half English in fact) but he still has these traits of shyness, sensitivity, big hearted, passion and (I hope) honesty. I am very shy if I really like someone and have not had a chance (or courage?) to actually meet him yet. He is a FB friend but so quiet. I have messaged him a few times and he rarely replies. He is in the public eye and very good at what he does and around different women all the time. I am just so wary. And yes, I think he has been out with an Asian woman! So maybe I as a blue-eyed English woman am not his type! I don’t know.
I would like to know should I make a clear move on him? It is frustrating and a bit humiliating when he doesn’t reply to my messages. I have been in a really bad relationship before so am very wary of all men.
Thanks for any comments x
I’m a Swedish guy and yes we’re very aware of our looks, we care alot about looking good and wearing fashionable clothes and so on. I can understand if foreign women easily mistakes swedish men for being gay. Swedish women on the other hand I think are so used to us men being “femalish” or whatever that they’re not labeling us as gay. I also do think that what is seen as “gay-behaviour” in countries outside of Scandinavia is not seen as it here. I mean, I know a bunch of straight guys who have made out with other straight guys at partys and such, no big deal, no one over here is judging them and nor is anyone questioning their masculinity. Guys picking their eyebrows and getting manicures are nothing unusual. In fact, not shaving your body (yes, everything except your head and lower legs) is absolutly more uncommon than doing it. I don’t really know where all this started or why we’ve become so “meterosexual”, but nor do I care.
Have in mind that I’m only 19 years old living in a city and Swedish men over 30 or living on the country-side might not be able to relate to this.
And another thing!.. About the thing with swedish men and the need for that special eyecontact before approaching a girl, SO TRUE!.. haha
Hej WickedBizz! Tack för ditt svar. :) A question again then: how can a straight guy be making out with another straight guy? This is exactly what worries me! I still can’t tell who is straight but taking care of himself and who is not straight. I can tell you that: If i see the guy making out with another guy, i would know what to think, but in any other case, i might not be sure.
About the shaving – personally i don’t mind. If it brings better hygiene, go for it (as for everything else like that). That doesn’t worry me. What worries me is :
1) the clothing style. I can’t tell if someone is stylish or gay.
2) the attitude to other men
3) the attitude to women (is he not approaching a girl because he doesn’t like her, because he is gay or because he is shy?).
How do i know whether a swedish man is really interested in me if he only calls me when he is drunk but swears he loves me? Or, that’s even better: How do i know if he is interested in me if he is so shy? (these are two different guys, naturally :) )
I am currently dating a swedish guy. He is adorable. But i am telling you – at times i am just not sure what is going on. Is he still interested? Will he call now? (yes, they call me too, haha). I don’t know whether he agrees with me on stuff because he wants to be polite or because he really wants me to like him! So i don’t really know where I stand, what he ACTUALLY thinks and so on!
Tell me WickedBizz. :) Oh, and WIckedBizz might be very right. Some things might be age-related too, so, guys over 30, please respond too!
Hello, i’m Swedish, and I just wanted to point out that most swedish guys are pretty shy and that kinda stuff.
Though, all you need to do as a girl to a swedish guy (in my case though) to give good eyecontact.
Seriously, when some girl give me good eye contact, smile and stuff, it can even make my day :)
It happens sometimes that after good eye contact I usually come up and compliment them.
Though, I can also be shy at various points. Don’t know what to do and say and stuff.
That’s a sign when you know I think the girl is very nice, pretty etc.
I have friends in the US, UK, and spread out over Europe.
They thought of me first as that shy guy who is boring and stuff.
But when they got to know me, they said I had fantastic humour, intelligent, and like me as a friend.
I have heard from other girls that I am good looking and I find myself attractive aswell. :)
I care maybe too much for my friends and close-ones, and put other infront of myself instead of the other way around.
Okay, enough of me.
Swedes doesn’t have the rep to have player attidudes and all that bullshit behaviour, and I can inform you, there are players (like anywhere else) but fewer of them.
I would really like to see more international girls in Sweden though and get to know them and their country more.
Soon I will be traveling to other countries, and I can’t wait to get to know more people in real life all over the world :)
Btw, great blog here, keep up the excellent work ;)
*whisper* Don’t forget the eye contact, that’s my fuel :)
Sorry for my great wall of text, I’m sure China wants it back. xD
Hej to all!
Startin’Up. – You seem nice and honest, so I have some questions for you if you wouldn’t mind.
I’m from Venezuela and I have a swedish friend over here. I guess being abroad helps him to be a little less shy, but anyways… how can I know if he has an interest in me or if we are just friends? We use messenger to communicate but he never says hi to me! I always have to say hi first. That’s not nice. Is that common? or am I being too naive? About the eye contact… totally true. He gives me the famous “swedish male look” and smile… so adorable. And he pays extra attention to me. But that might only be politeness. So, I’m a little confused about what to do, how to behave, what NOT to do also. Is there anything I can do to make him like me more?… I guess that’s a “guys secret”, but think about him and how happy he could end up being :)
P.S. if you travel to latinoamerica, I could give you some tips as well :)
@ Startin’Up: Great joke about the great wall of text… :)
I am sorry you have to travel, that will be a loss. :)
I will be away for the next 5 days myself, but when i come back, i will ask you a few more questions. Ha det så bra! Kram
Heeyy Again!
prosti4@yahoo.se u asked “how can a straight guy be making out with another straight guy?”.. Quit honestly, I don’t know. I don’t really have a good answer to that. I guess we’re very opened minded?
I don’t understand why you’re so worried about this. I mean so what if you would happend to hit on a gay guy? And actually, chances aren’t bigger here than anywhere else. And if you don’t want a meterosexual man, than it shouldn’t be so hard to discern them from a men who’re not.
But yeah, it probably can be hard for a foreign person to tell if alot of swedish men are gay or not. But why does this have to be a problem? I mean, if he give you “the look” then it’s a go! :P
About that guy of yours you were talking about. If the guy calls u when he’s drunk telling u he loves u then he probably likes u! Unless he’s just looking for some late night sex. The best thing you can do is just to ask him! Ask him how he feels about you, that’s the best advice I can give.
@Latina girl
I recognize that scenario actually.
I don’t know for sure how your relationship with him is working out, but most of us like when the girl say hi first most of the time and when the girl is taking the first step.
Though, give him some breathspace if you haven’t already done that, so maybe he can process the situation a little more.
In my case, I LOVE when the girl say hi and takes the first step and stuff like that, but I always wanna return with something good also, and not just sit there waiting for the girl to ask questions.
If you want to get his attention, maybe stay offline or lay low for a couple of days or just don’t say anything, next thing you know he probably will say hi or something.
Have worked for me when I wanted to talk to a girl when I was to shy to make the first move.
Though, I don’t wanna give you orders what to do, I maybe just screw something up.
Do what feels right :)
And thanks, you’ll be the first one to ask if I ever go to latinoamerica :)
@Entjej
Haha okay :)
I’ll be wating.
Hare braa :D
@Startin’Up.
Thanks for the advice! I’ll do that! I won’t say hi next time I see him on line. I’ve been wanting to do that but I wasn’t sure because I thought that, since I always say hi, if I stop greeting him he might think something is wrong. Actually we do have good conversations and he chats a lot, it’s just that he never starts the conversations and I wonder if that is because of a lack of interest. Maybe he just wants to be polite. Do you think that if he wasn’t interested he would make that clear? Also, with e-mails and other stuff he shares more than I do, like documents, pictures and other things, but he won’t do it if I don’t send him an e-mail first… in our conversations he always tells me his plans, what he is doing, likes and dislikes, etc. And sometimes he teases me about other men… some foreigners from Europe and USA that are just walking by! never with locals. So I don’t know what to think about this. Either he is not interested in anything more than a friendship or he is jealous.
I want to let him know that I care about him but without acting or looking desperate. And I want him to show that he cares enough to take steps too… cuz it looks like if he was following my lead! He is the man and I’m the woman… why does he act like the woman?
Anyway, thanks for answering my crazy questions. You’re a nice guy :)
P.S. I posted something on the saction “dating in Sweden… we americans need a guide”, so if you want to take a look and comment on it that would be great! (another Great Wall here lol)
Hello! Im a guy from Sweden but I live in America at the moment. I just came in on this page totally random, and i see alot of you seem to wonder alot about swedish
men, since ive been living in America for more than 6 months and traveled to more than 25 countries before, ive met alot of people from different cultures and I think i know very good how Swedish people differ from other people. I just want to tell you that if you have any questions you can mail me, I would be happy to helpy you! Kal_karl@hotmail.com
@Latina girl
Hahah :)
Well, it’s clear he is pretty interested in you because otherwise I think he would have told you that he wasn’t or something, or like many other cowardice chickens on msn that just avoid and block people they donät like.
So don’t worry, seems to me he is pretty interested but afraid of taking the first move.
The best thing should be if you asked him to meet up again or sometime.
Hope I’ve helped a bit, ask more if you got something else on your mind :)
Sorry, really fatigued while typing this.
Sorry for typos.
:-) hey you all…
I posted a little while back about this guy, half Swedish, half English, he grew up here, but obviuosly has Swedish traits as he is shy, is not full on etc. We have not met but he is in the public eye so I have got to know him a bit, strange as it may seem! Also we are FB friends. Well, I would message him and he rarely replied but then maybe he thought it was just minor fan flirtation but I did not know how to take it further as actually when I really really care for someone I find it difficult! Well I said finally if he didn’t want me as a friend and I had got it wrong he should delete me. He replied on 2 hours! He said he just had a lot of junk mail, usually ignored the inbox, but that he would try to keep on top of it. Well a week and a half later after no more reply I am like, hmm, right!!! Then I got an invite from him to a club!
Great yes?? Lol no!! I am on holiday on that day (next month!) So I had to say thanks but maybe another time… no reply yet! What I have learnt is that it is important to make it clear I care and that he his shy and needs to take his time, a lot of time (and maybe it is the Swedish male way!) I am so pleased I actually took that step and asked what was going on. I was scared! But he matters enough :-). Also yes, I backed off for a couple of weeks and he came to me more then. Courting… it is a dance, yes? Step together, step apart… and back together ;-) a gentleman!
Thank you for all your comments, they really help :-).
Wall back to China! Lol xx
@ Startin’Up
Well, thanks again, I hope you are right. Do you have any idea of how I can tell if he is just interested in a friendship or in something else? I mean, is there anything Swedish men do exclusively when they like a woman? The smiling doesn’t really count because I think it’s just your (swedish men) natural charm, or am I wrong?… For example… teasing, is that very common? winking… touching… and that kinda stuff.
And I also heard that you guys take everything seriously, nothing by impulse, that you are very cautious because you don’t want to be hurt or something, and that the dating process can be very slow but only because of the need to be certain about things but that it’s a sure process… how much of that is true??
My best wishes to you, and also to every swedish man on earth!
Hello guys!
@WickedBizz
:) I like your answers. They are always so detailed and helpful!
About your last one – I just want to tell you It is NOT about open-mindedness…. I am open-minded enough. I have a few gay friends. It is not the idea of the two men by itself that repells me. It is the idea of having one of them as a boyfriend. I just wanted to say that if two men are making out, then they are definitely NOT STRAIGHT. Anyway, how do u answer my today’s questions? :)
@Startin’Up
Nu är jag tillbaka till Sverige. :) Alright, alright.. In english. How have you been? Are you still in Sweden or somewhere out there already? :) Now, to you and
To all swedish guys:
1) So, i am now wondering … Imagine you are dating this foreign girl for a while (let’s say a month, it’s easier) and how does she know where she stands? Is that a relationship? Or are you just dating her? When do you stop having sex with other women? And again – when does she know? Looks like these are many questions, but truth is just one – how do you let the girl know she is THE ONE?
2) Now, this question is an up-to-date one, since it’s coming in 3 days. Valentine’s . What do swedish men think and do about it? Does it matter? Will he use it to say “I love you”? Will he be totally irritated and annoyed by it and will try to not even talk about it? Does Valentine’s have direct relation to what the swedish guy feels and shows for the girl?
@Entjej
Hmm well if I was dating a foreing girl for a month and I liked her, I would simply tell her I would want it to be official. And for “when do you stop having sex with other women?” well it really depends on the guy, I wouldt date a woman for a month while sleeping with another but thats just me, I cant speak for the other guys. Everybody works differently, but it does seem that things get official pretty fast among the people I know, and if its not official fast its usually just casual sex with the agreement from both parties from the start. And if not that then well its the guy/girl having others on the side and not interessted in a relationship. This is how Ive experienced things atleast. Hope it helps
@ Björn
Seems like you are quite straight forward (good thing). I am myself too (good thing, hopefully) :). He, however, is not so very much. I often have a feeling he is shy, he himslef said he is insecure and very often if not all the time i have a feeling he says and does what he thinks i wanna hear… That doesn’t really let me get to know him. I know he likes me, since he keeps having sex with me. I know he likes me, since he is texting me every day and is even calling me. I know he likes me because now i feel like he takes it as something normal to spend his weekend with me (even if we do other things during the day separately, on a saturday, for example). He doesn’t say anything about his own feelings or intentions though. He doesn’t seem to be a player. I don’t think there are lots of women around him. (There are men around me though). That’s why i don’t know what to think. Am i rushing things, is he taking it slowly or is he not determined to make something more serious out of it!?
@ Entjej
Well, the fact that a “straight” man can make out with another man just for the fun of it might not be about open-mindedness, I agree. But I think I meant that the fact that people i general can laugh and be okey with it is about open-mindedness. Swedes are free to do what they want without being judged. Then of course I understand you wouldn’t want a boyfriend who are kissing other men just for the fun of it. But me peronally don’t think anyone in a relationship should be making out with other people, men or women.
1) I don’t think I would “date” a girl for a whole month. Either I fall in love from the start or I don’t fall in love at all. But then of course I’m only 19 years old and that may change in the future :P
When I fall in love, I REALLY fall in love and I’m sure the girl is noticing that pretty easy. But lets say I fall in love with a girl and she’s telling me she wants to take it slow and son’t rush things.. Of course I’ll ease off but if she’s having sex with other men after a month we’re DONE. But that’s just me and I think every guy is different.
2) Me personally likes Valentine’s Day and I would of course try to make my girlfriend feel special on that day. And yes I would tell her I love her (if I do :P). But I think swedish men in general don’t really care to much about Valentine’s Day, especially compering to americans. It’s pretty populare to buy your girlfriend a rose but that’s probably it. So if your man didn’t do anything special for you on Valentine’s Day you don’t have to worry. And really, it’s the everyday things that matter.
@ WickedBizz
Very wisely said, my dear. :) It seems like you are quite mature for your age. And you also know your fellow-swedes quite well.
Vore trevligt att prata med dig, har du nån typ av messenger?
Vi kan väl vara vänner. ;) Jag har skype – pantera575. Adda mig, så pratar vi.
@ Entjej
Aavisst det skulle va trevligt, jag använder dock inte skype. Använder du msn så kan du adda mig (tim.lundberg@hotmail.com) ifall du vill.
Du verkar prata (eller ja skriva iaf) väldigt bra svenska! Hur länge har du bott här och varifrån kommer du egentligen?
Here’s little tip for those of you considering coming to Sweden.
http://www.couchsurfing.org/
It is definitily the best way to experience a city, and it’s people.
@ WickedBizz
Ett stort tack till dig för komplemangen! :) Ska förbättras iaf! :)
@Latina girl
Woh, I’ve been up to much lately so I didn’t have time to answer.
Sorry, for my inconvenience.
Well, in my case, teasing is flirting nonetheless. Same with winking and touching.
And, yes, we are cautious, and we are afraid to get hurt.
Though, I wanna ask you something.
Since it was a long time I’ve visiting this blog, is it working out for you and that sweidsh guy?
I’m pretty curious if my tips have helped. :)
Thanks :) and all my best wishes goes to you :)
@Entjej
I’m feeling great :) thank you. How are you doing then?
Haha, no, I’m still in Sweden and I will stay here for quite some time more, though I wanna see other countries too.
Really curious!
hahah, so typical too see my typos when I’ve already posted it xD
Visitied*
Swedish* and not sweidish. xD
Sorry, i’m quite in a rush at the moment.
VISITED*
gosh! HAHA xD
@Entjej
I often hear that I am pretty straight forward, but its the first time I hear straight up that its a good thing=). I can see a bit of myself in what you describe about your guy though. I wouldt talk about my feelings much, not unless I am asked about them and even then Id probly just say the minimum to get it over with. Not because I am shy per se, but I honestly cant think of any reason at all why it would be an interessting subject. I mean if Im happy I am happy and if Im angry I am angry, and I dont dwell on it too much. The biggest difference between him and me would be that I am very straight forward about my intentions, for example if I was dating a girl and wanted it to be serious Id make sure to let her know that I want a serious relationship. So perhaps just ask him in a straight forward way and maybe you will get the answer.
I read through the whole thread and saw your question about how to know if a swedish guy is heterosexual or not. Take me for example. I usually go to a establishment to get a tan once a week (sorry cant remember the right english word for it) I buy clothes that are trendy and I use cologne daily. I work out and I take alot of care of my appearance. I do this to make sure that I dont look like a slob. And despite all that I often hear that I have this macho thing going on lol, and I am 100% heterosexual. That would probly sound like a gay man in other cultures but here its things like gay or hetero is very open and its considered very immature to be prejudice about it. If I had to draw a line between heterosexual and homosexual it would be when a man goes beyond that.
Not crystal clear I know but it is the best I can do so hopefully it will be of some help=).
@ Björn
Yes, definitely it is a good thing!! When people are straight forward, i like it, because it gives me an exact idea of where i stand and what they want, expect and so on. Otherwise i have to guess (i am good at it, but why do it, if you can skip it?) and that creates tension and/or misunderstandings. That noone likes.
“I can see a bit of myself in what you describe about your guy though”, you said. Does that mean I will like you? :) (By the way, he hasn’t still verbalized his feelings or intentions and it starts to annoy me).
And yes, i am convinced you are not gay. No gay man would resist any opportunity to talk about their feelings, but honestly, i prefer to know what is going on in my man’s head, instead of having to guess (same issue here as above). But i know you are not gay, it shows from the way you speak and what you have to say. :)
As i said before – i am not, i am NOT prejudiced about gay people. I have a few best friends who are gay. I just don’t want to have a man who’s making out with other men (or involved with them in any way when it comes to love and sex. I don’t want one who’s involved with other women, either :). It is simple. And I don’t mind a guy who’s taking care of he’s looks. So, very straight forwardly said, i want a 100% straight man. Who is not dating men behind my back :).
@ Entjej
Well first off, I absolutley agree with you about the straight forward thing. I would want to know from the start if a girl want a serious realtoinship or not. And about the other thing, I did not mean it as a line to flirt with you as I already know that you have a guy, and that you are interssted in him. And I find it a bit disrespectful to pick up a girl who is already seeing someone=). As for, “Does that mean I will like you? :)”. Well to be absolutley honest, I would consider myself extremly lucky if I would find a girl that would make the same effort just to understand me and the culture Im grown up with as you do by being here and asking these questions. To make it short, I doubt I would ever be that lucky hehe. But no I didt mean it as a way to say that you will like me. But who knows=P.I said it because its possible that him and me have alot in common and just a way to help you understand him. Becaue I really hope it works out for you. Especially since it seems you really do your best to make it work.
I never thought of you as being prejudice to gay people and I apologize if it looked like I was. I just meant that it can be a bit harder to tell the difference lol, as I have female friends who has non swedish backgrounds and find it hard to understand who is what.
@ Björn
Well, here’s some news for you. I will not be seeing this guy anymore. Not after tonight, no. I am not sorry I put all the efforts into understanding him (not being him only, but him being a swede), but it turned out it was totally not worth it (not for him being a swede, but for him being himself :) ). He turned out a coward. And i don’t need a coward. I was very straight forward with him tonight and i told him what i thought and he didn’t seem to appreciate my honesty. I told him i myself didn’t know where that was going and that i don’t actually know what to expect from it. He said, i quote: “A libra and a virgo don’t go well, do they?!” (sorry if you are one of those :) ). Well, i guess that answers the question whether i would go on dating a stupid guy too. So, i never got an exact reason for why he thought the things he thought.
I honestly don’t think that you two have so much in common. Maybe the nationality and the common background, yes. But even now I am not sure what he is saying (and it is not a language problem!) or what he wants!
And no, i didn’t think you were flirting. :) It’d be better to flirt with someone like you rather than him, I feel like i have wasted my time dating him.
So, consider yourself lucky still :) , i will never get enough of learning about Sweden and swedish people. :)
Thank you for your hope that it will work out for me and him – men sluta hålla tummarna, because it will not. There is something specific about me and it is i am never interested in men who are not clearly and only interested in me. And that doesn’t change with the nationality.
About doing my best at understanding him – I always do my best at whatever i do and i hope you will keep on being there for me to help me understand swedish people and typical swedish things? :)
You stunned me with your last passage as well. Jag uppskattar det. Very well said. This is exactly how i felt about it and it definitely made me feel good that you understand what I meant. :)
Hmm. I tell you this… I have studued communication and culture and am very much against any stereotypical assumptions. However, I have to say that there seem to be similar traits in Swedish men (from this blog and the one Swedish guy that I know anyway). OK so we haven’t yet met lol however I got to know him a little through the job he does. He was really quite flirtatious and even scared me a little. I have been hurt by men and pulled back. OK so maybe he was not sure where he stands with me. He invited me to an event that I couldn’t go to because I am away but when I tried to message with him and I asked why he wasn’t replying to my questions, he removed me from his chat list! Well I thought it was an error on the site and sent him my number. Then I was very upset when I realised it was deliberate rudeness on his part and I have ignored him since. I don’t see what else to do as he has had my number two weeks now and done nothing. I wonder if he just wants to sleep with women without having a meaningful relationship. I won’t even ask him his reasons now as I have some pride! Also at the bottom of this page it says “Rude Swedes are not an oxymoron”. Well, I don’t think any human being should be excused from rudeness!!! xx
@Startin’Up
You are very funny!lol You made me laugh when I read about your typos!
Well, there’s not much to say about my story. I’ve been busy and I haven’t had much time to put all your tips into practice just yet. But I WILL. I’ve thought about some of the things that you said like that thing about the fact that he has not blocked me. It seems to be true that some guys do that because of what Emilie said in the last comment about that guy that removed her from his chat list.
So stay tuned because I will put your tips into practice and I will let you know if they helped.
I haven’t been to Sweden so I don’t know a lot about the its culture, but I’ve read some positive and also negative things about the people. I have known only two swedish men in my life but from those experiences and from talking to you and Bjorn I think the negative comments are not true and not fair either. Of course I can’t think that all swedes are like you, but so far so good =)
P.S. Don’t worry abou your typos, we all have them =)
Lol well if only it was that simple. I am on another chat site too and he hasn’t blocked me on either site. But he certainly hasn;t replied to my messages. Unless the stupid site messed up, which has been known! Yet I am too scared of being hurt to risk asking. And then he referred to me the other day.
All in all I am confused! I also feel pretty miserable around it all. Do I just leave it and move on? Sigh.xx
Emilie, hang tight dear. And don’t waste your tears on him if he’s not reciprocating.
Send him a follow up mail and if he’s still unresponsive, go enjoy life. Maybe’s he scared, maybe he’s an idiot, or maybe not that into you.
But don’t let your life be about him. At all. Be you =)
xoxo sapphire
@Emilie
I understand you. That’s how I feel, CONFUSED. With the guys over here I know (most of the times)whether they like me. If only it was that simple! I think he kinda likes me but not enough to do anything about it. sigh!
Nationality and personality isn’t related, there are jerks, good guys, bad guys, abusive guys and what not in Sweden, and in all the other countries. You can’t generalize indivudual personalities.
Thanks :-) to all of you, I agree with all each of you have said. He was responding but seemed to stop when I asked questions of him, so maybe he is just emotionally unavailable! I just wonder if it is a trait of Swedish guys that they find it difficult to move things on. I am kind of giving up now. There is another guy who is giving me lots of attention (just a friend right now but we are getting closer) and it just seems so much easier. It takes two to make it work. A girl likes to know she’s wanted you know. xx
“Entjej Ah I misunderstood then. Lol thats what I get for talking in the phone and reading here at the same time, perhaps its a male and multi-tasking thing=). Well after reading what you said about him I would have to agree, him and me dont have much in common after all. Except for not talking about my feelings much hehe. “A libra and a virgo don’t go well, do they?!” was pretty shocking to see, I thought such excuses only existed on TV. I think its really cool that you are determined about what kind of guy you want. That makes me think that I maybe have more in common with you than that guy lol. In the sense that I rather be single than having a half-hearted relationship as opposed to being with someone just so I dont have to be alone. Yeah I like talking to you so I’ll definitley stick around to answer your questions to the best of my abilities=).
You seem to know the swedish language very well, but if you feel like practicing, I can help out with that too=).
@Emilie
Hard to say, I dont know how you two started out exactly but if he is shy and also interessted in you, he might be a bit intimidated if you show too much interesst. Then again as I understand it, he more or less ignored you for a while so maybe you should just not dwell on the matter and just go with the other guy instead=).
@ Björn
Haha, for sure multitasking is not one of the best male qualities :)
About the libra-virgo thing. I think he is just a coward who was trying to find many excuses, all of them stupid, because he is not brave and mature enough to take responsibility for his actions.
Yeah, i think we have a few things in common, you and me. :) And hopefully, we don’t have so much in common with that guy. Btw, he sent me an sms today. I wonder what for.
Anyway, that’s not so important anymore. The important thing is: i wouldn’t be with someone to just not be alone either.
“Yeah I like talking to you so I’ll definitley stick around to answer your questions to the best of my abilities=).” – wow, THIS is how i like to be treated! :D Seriously, that gave a really warm feeling. Thank you. :)
And yes, i need A LOT of practising, so how will you help?
@ Entjej
Yeah it does sound like an excuse more than anything. About the sms, well thats our thing lol, allthough I do like phonecalls better unless its just something fast that I got to say.
“wow, THIS is how i like to be treated! :D Seriously, that gave a really warm feeling. Thank you. :)” Im glad it made you happy=). I gladly help out, and like I said Im having a good time while doing it so I hope you dont run out of questions hehe.
About the swedish, well it depends on how much you already know. Just trying to talk it for a length of time a couple of times a week would go along way when learning another language. Other than that well I got a knack for scrounging up stuff so I could probably find you a language learning software, ebooks for learning and that sort of stuff. If anything of that sounds interesting just let me know.
@ Björn
Yeah. Well, as my friends say, some good guy must be with me, not this one. “About the sms, well thats our thing lol” – i know :), though swedes don’t hesitate to call me. Even that guy (who himself says how insecure and shy he is) was calling me, quite regularly.
That’s because i’m really nice to talk to and i have a nice voice. :P
Yeah, it made me happy, the way you treated me :). I will not run out of questions. And i will definitely enjoy talking to you more too :)
About the language. I wanna talk and chat because i understand, but have to work on my way of speaking. A swedish spellchecker is what i need on the software side. So, that’s what i’m hoping you can help me with. :)
So I’m in need of some urgent advice about a Swede in one of my classes… you guys seem to be fairly well versed when it comes to Swedes so… how the hell do you ask out a swede?? or make “a move” on him? I’ve never dated anyone, let alone asked anyone out but now that I am considering it, I’ve realized I have no idea how to broach the topic. Help!
@ Entjej
“That’s because i’m really nice to talk to and i have a nice voice. :P” You are very nice to talk to, no idea about your voice though, but Im tempted to try to find out=P
“Yeah, it made me happy, the way you treated me :). I will not run out of questions. And i will definitely enjoy talking to you more too :)”
Glad to hear it and Im looking forward to it=)
I dont think a spellchecker would be hard to come by at all, there should even be one on the computer you are already using. But maybe that only works when the computer is set on swedish. Would you like grammar help on it as well or just spell checking?
@ Björn
You are very welcome to try and find out then! :P
You put a smile on my face again. After a hard day of work this is a very nice thing. :)
Ehm… I don’t know about that. My computer is set on swedish, but i have no spellcheck… :( Grammar help as well will be very nice too, thank you. :)
And now, i go to bed, since today i got what you would call utmattad, but i am definitely going to sleep in a much better mood now and it is entirely your fault. :P
@ Entjej
“You are very welcome to try and find out then! :P” I’ll be straightforward then hehe. You seem like a very nice girl and also seem to be alot of fun, and I would love to hear your voice=). So I would like to talk to you on a more regular basis. So with that said, if you use any chat software, would you mind if I added you? =)
I think I can find a decent software for you, ill ask some people who work with that stuff so ill know what to look for, shouldt be a problem to find any.
“And now, i go to bed, since today i got what you would call utmattad, but i am definitely going to sleep in a much better mood now and it is entirely your fault. :P” That gave me a very varm feeling to be honest hehe, sweet dreams=)
Yes, i would like to talk to you on a more regular basis too. :) I use skype mostly and that will be pantera575, so I absolutely wouldn’t mind if you added me. :)
Thank you for the software problemsolving!! :)
Very nice :), I hope you slept well too. :) Now i am in a hurry for work, but hopefully i see you on skype soon. Have a nice day! :)
hej!.. im an asian,im a married woman living in japan and have a child..Everything started on the internet..i guess,,he(pertaining to my swede)found my profile and my pics so interesting that he asked for my YM add,and yes i gave him my add then we started chatting everyday for almost 8 months..
i was attracted to him the first time i saw him on webcam and felt that connection everyones looking for..at first i was hesistant to tell him the truth about my marriage and my child..so i made up stories,lies,stuff like that..maybe bcuz i was too scared that he wont talk to me again..but that didnt happen,it was the other way around..
he accepted me after explaining things to him that i wasnt really inlove and really dont love my husband at all..i told him the reason why i married my husband and why my marriage is not working..and he understands..
Till we decided to meet in person..well,yeah ofcourse not in my place..nor his..you see how complicated things are for me and him,,and yes finally we met last january in a tropical country and actually my origin..i flew there w/ my daughter..he met her twice and he was really nice to her..we also went out w/ my lil sis and some of my friends..everyone finds him really good looking and nice even my lil sis told me that she got a crush on him..
In a very short span of time together he has shown me how special i am to him..We talked about our feelings for each other,our plans,he asked me to get a divorce and he really wants to marry me..and before we flew back to our homes..he made it clear that i am his real gf and he is my real bf..he is really serious about me..and that he wants a future w/ me..and i know im inlove w/ him..and i also told him that this is not a game for me and that i dont wanna make the same mistakes again..we promised we gonna make our relationship works even if its hard bcuz we are far from each other..
Now that he is back in Sweden, there are things running through my mind but so far everything is ok,,he make sure he calls before he zzz,,we chat and see each other on webcam everyday..what worries me is that he might find another girl and that his feelings might change..and he might wake up one day and get tired of waiting and realize why wait for a committed girl like me if there are lots of girls around..
I just wanna know,,if you swedish guys are really man of your words?i mean if you guys tell a girl that you are willing to wait..do you really mean it?..
..thanks!..more power!
Hi, all, I’m suffering over a swede as well… Been googling about swedish men and found this:) I wont copy/paste my blog – you can have a look for yourselves, he has totally conquered me, I’ve got to see him again…
@ Bella
Try to make make eye contact with him, and when you get it. Be sure to put on your most seductive smile and a look of desire in your eyes. After that he should be coming to you. If he does not however, then it could be that he is just shy. To solve that, just say hi to him everytime you meet him, sorta like a wild animal, you must make him feel acclimated to your presence lol. Basically just take the same route to get to know him as you would with a new friend. After that things should go smoothly.
@ Björn
(Apparently I forgot to write to whom my last post was addressed, but it is kind of obvious that it is :@ Björn and not someone else… :) ANd here it comes again)
Yes, i would like to talk to you on a more regular basis too. :) I use skype mostly and that will be pantera575, so I absolutely wouldn’t mind if you added me. :)
Thank you for the software problemsolving!! :)
Very nice :), I hope you slept well too. :) Now i am in a hurry for work, but hopefully i see you on skype soon. Have a nice day! :)
@ Entjej
I added you (pantera575) but perhaps something went wrong. Trying again. if you dont get any message now then let me know. And I’ll make a new skype account and try again.
Hej!
Okej, I have been following this for a bit. I absolutely love your blog!
Anyway, I have been talking to a Swedish boy for oh, 8 months now. First through a penpal site, which I noticed he would view my profile nearly everyday so finally I contacted him, in which he contacted me back in nearly 5 seconds. Now, strictly MSN. We use to talk everyday, but with our lives its more like every other day, maybe for an hour or two. Sometimes we get lucky and talk for 5 to 6 hours a day like we use to. The thing is we can talk about anything and everything. He use to hold back until finally one day I blew up and threw a tiny tantrum, now he thinks it, he tells me :P He’s great he really is but it just gets me that at times he is so warm and nice, and at other times he is so cold and dismissive almost. Anyway, I just thought it was me. I am from the south (a.k.a. Louisiana) so I just thought with me coming from a background that is so warm and hugging that must be it(or deep down he hates me), but the thread reassures me. However, hopefully he will come to America soon or I might just have to “accidently” show up in Sweden ;)OH, we silly girls
@ Björn
Alright, no message yet. I have heard that it sometimes takes time and both people should be online at the same time (not sure how valid that is). But we’ll figure it out, one way or another. :)
my bf is a swedish
he talks in eyes
i mean yes he enjoys discussing many things with me
but merely tells me something related to love
my ex s are american and french
they call me everyday no,at least 2times a day
but he dont call just text me
im thinking on breaking up
this is just an ill treatment,i think
@ Ji
Text messages is our thing lol. If you do not like them, then it is up to you to tell the guy that you dont like them. Our swedish girls likes texting and thus we text them, we treat any girlfriend from abroad the same. If you think his behaviour is ill treatment then perhaps you should takea minute or two and think about how you treat him because he might just think that what you do is ill treatment too. You are not unique, and you are not special, so if you cant accept something small as that without doing something about it yourself then it is not him that is at fault but you.
Seriously Im so damn sick of girls thinking themselves as princesses while they themselves have no damn idea on wtf they are doing and how it will effect the guy that they are dating.
@ Björn
Thanks so much for responding! So we do make eye contact and I smile whenever we do, but he is just soooo shy and I can’t even tell if he’s interested – some days he seems more engaged and others he’s uber introverted. There aren’t a lot of opportunities to talk so it makes it hard to get to know him better which I definitely want to do. The problem is he’s shy, I’m shy (when it comes to guys) and I know he’s not going to initiate anything which is where I come in. I’m just afraid/don’t know what the next step should be.