Americanisms in dating…Of wingmen and pilots

11 Apr

I’ve been trying to come up with something to post about this week and life hasn’t been exciting. I thought however we would revisit Þorbjörn, the little swede I met in the US. We had a discussion about meeting someone in a bar in Sweden versus the US. Here are the conversations (edited to make sense).

The explanation of wingmen in American culture:
Þórbjörn: wingman ??
me: o m g
Þórbjörn: hey, i am from sweden!!
me: in fighter plane scenarios
there’s always a leader whose goal is to hit the main target
his wingmen (flying behind him in formation)
deal with enemy fire
Þórbjörn: haha
me: that’s real air force
in social situations it’s similar
Þórbjörn: so if i want my friend to hook up with a girl, i need to be his wingman?
me: well yes, but it’s an art
you have a lead pilot, usually an alpha male
he’s the most charismatic, friendly, and cunning with women
he’ll always have one or two male friends
those are wingmen
Þórbjörn: haha
me: those guys entertain the target’s female friends
the wingmen also soften the women up by being cute, silly, more romantic
during that confusion
the leader takes his target
Þórbjörn: so extreamly american…
me: hahaha, how so?
Þórbjörn: sounds very american ;)

The Swedish way:

Þórbjörn:my friends in sweden never worked in that way
me: how does it work?
Þórbjörn: how did it work? oh, hot girl, i will go for her, screw you guys
me: oh yah, i was told guys have no problems ditching their friends
Þórbjörn: of course not…you can’t have sex with your friends
me: what about us and how we met?
Þórbjörn: our dating seemed very swedish to me… meet at a bar, have sex, start hanging out, have more sex =)
oh, and one woman at the time… that is complicated enough for me

How to talk to girl in the American bar:
What you do as a male who finally made it past enemy fire and has the target in range.
Þórbjörn: so what would I have done if I was an American?
me: first off, we wouldn’t have never made it to my place b/c i would have expected you to hit on me
and buy me drinks
and flirt and be cute
Þórbjörn: and then?
me: we probably would not have gone home together that night but rather exchanged numbers
maybe make out in the bar
Þórbjörn: that sounds utterly boring
me: LOL
then you would have called me a few days later and ask me out for dinner
Þórbjörn: why can’t you do that?
me: chivalry my friend, male chivalry
Þórbjörn: crazy americans

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9 Responses to Americanisms in dating…Of wingmen and pilots



April 11th, 2008 at 15:39

Hmmm, I need to get me some technique! Usually I just went in blundering like an idiot and hope someone would take pity. Strangely, I always did really well.



April 12th, 2008 at 09:02


Sorry ljúfust! But I agree with Þórbjörn. Your way seems really complicated and boring.
And if you see someone interesting it is ok to ditch your friends.



April 12th, 2008 at 11:47

I agree Ragnheiður, Americans are complicated. Too many rules. :P

I’ll stick to the Swedes.


Nomadic Matt

April 12th, 2008 at 20:22

Having dated a swede, i agree. they are much more straighforward…and hotter…way way way hotter. they procreate well!!!

I like the blog….look forward to reading more….

stop by my world if you get a moment!



May 17th, 2008 at 15:51

Ohhh, they do procreate well!

Enjoyed your blog too.



June 22nd, 2008 at 18:28

A good video on what a wingman is.


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[…] Having a wingman will allow you to have a higher status and meet girls in groups.  And a good wingman is a guy who can back you up, know when to step down, entertain the other girls, and overall, make […]


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June 26th, 2010 at 18:42

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May 13th, 2011 at 08:56

Great blog! You are hilarious!

I think like the Swedish way of ‘courting’ better. Seems more mature. (if I were single) I’d love to be able to ditch my friends out at the bar and not feel bad. And I like talking to an interest one on one rather than having a bunch of macho guys try to impress me or be in my face all at the same time puffing their chests like peacocks. I also like the notion that Swedish men think women can call to make dates too. Makes sense – more like friends would interact – just calling to make a date – not a separate ‘put on’ way of acting for someone you are sexually interested in. Sounds normal to me. – less games perhaps?

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