I was telling this story to a friend and she nearly died of laughter. You just can’t keep it to yourself.
Here’s the background:
Dude and I are entrenched in a conversation. It is important to note the dude is Swedish and the total lack of inhibition in his questioning is either due to his Swedish liberalness or his adorable naivety. Or maybe he was being a male (cute but silly).
We are discussing American politics, global affairs, etc. then eventually delve down into American conservatism. This inevitably leads to a conversation about gay rights…
Me: It’s really aggravating to witness a country that prides itself on “freedoms” and equal rights can prohibit two people from getting married. Makes me angry.
Sven*: So, are you a lesbian? [continues eating]
Me: [shell-shocked…WTF?!!…ask that question in the South mister and we’ll teach you where you can put that rifle…]
Me: [actually says] No.
Me: [still confused, flustered, embarrassed] No, I really like my men. Yeah…
Sven: [eating peacefully] Okay, that’s good then.
Later in the conversation…
Sven: I saw your photo. You have more hair and look different.
Me: [Why, you little…!!! – Imagine a Homer strangling Bart moment]
Me: Uhhh, yah that photo was when I was in college, 5 years ago. I also lost some hair b/c of my vacation in Iceland.
Sven: You still don’t look bad.
*name changed to protect privacy but maybe not the privacy of the 50,000 people named Sven
Sven made me so irate that I was not sure if I wanted to strangle him or kiss him. He had the balls to say ridiculous things but do them in an innocent manner.
And not realizing that (the lesbian thing) was a loaded question was a true kicker. Coming from the South, I can guarantee someone would have punched him in a best case scenario. Worst case: a rifle up his ass.