Funny things men say

So here are some very funny emails that I have been receiving, ladies (and gentlemen), post your favorite, cheesy, terrible line someone has told to hit on you.

Okcupid-America:

And, what is up with the orange dress? And the shooting?
Very curious now.

Hey there sweetie,

I find you extremeley adorable. You look beautiful in your mermaid dress. I would like to chat and get to know you. You seem fun.

I love your profile.

So funny, and cute, yet leaves you wanting more.

I am just sorry that I will not get to hear all your different accents.

Hmmm… now I am curious: what do you shoot, exactly? Portraits? Weddings? Bears? Portraits of bears getting married (in Vegas, of course, by a preacher-alligator-Elvis-lookalike with a slobbery cigar hanging from his lips and a half-eaten sandwich stuck in his giant sideburns)? What a shot that would be!

Wooo! Looks like you caught me in the midst of my midnightly madness! Don’t take me too seriously though; I’ll be here all night. Well not really, actually I’m going to bed. So please, take me as seriously serious as possible.

…dish, dish! Tell all. That’s a heck of a dress, by the way…

Ooh, a D200. Now I am jealous (my D70 gets a good workout, but it’s just not the same). That’s awesome that you shoot for a living. I’m curious what you shoot. I’m also curious about that dress. Hot. ;-)

[someone wrote asking if i’d be willing to receive erotic emails…ummm no. that is so gross. am i married to you? no? then i’m not having those conversations with you]
—–
At a bar in SF:
A gem like you couldn’t stay hidden in NY forever

—–
On match.se:
if u like sex let me know
(first creepy swede i have ever encountered…ewwwwwww)

We all say crazy stuff, so men please don’t take it personally. I know women are very capable of doing/saying insane things.

9 thoughts on “Funny things men say”

  1. That last comment was by me… I was logged into WP somehow without my knowledge… or something

  2. oh man- I’ve never read your blog before and I just read the entire thing instead of working on grad school applications… you are hysterical!! this is phenomenal stuff you’ve got here… haha

  3. @rebecca- hehe, i am glad i can derail folks from grad school applications. stay tune dear, lots to come in the future

    @shikataganai- a book sounds a like plan =)

  4. Let me add to this a story I heard at work today (all true). We were just chatting about how we men have this incredible ability to say the “right” thing at the right moment. So one of us has a friend who was dating a younger guy – let’s say that there’s a few years between them and it was one of those sunny and warm days (I swear we get those once in a while here) and they were chatting away outside a popular bar and there’s music playing and everything is nice. So Robbie Williams – you know who that is I hope – comes on and she’s a fan. So the guy leans over and asks innocently enough: “you like Robbie Williams?” and she says “yeah I do” to which he answers “that’s great, my mom does too”….

  5. at a jazz club in Melbourne: Are u in the 35+ age bracket? Oh that’s good because I’m into women, not girls. My name’s A. I’m 25. Let me be your nights entertainment.

  6. so how about this…

    what WOULD work with you?

    Not that I’m trying to “pick you up”, but I think many guys would like to know so they don’t think they have to send lame stuff like that.

    Dave

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